Wineke: The GOP wants my money… or else

A pile of money

MADISON, Wis. — I’m afraid the Republican party is losing all patience with me.

Every day, it sends me numerous e-mails, each angrier than the last.

“You have been officially removed from our official Top Trump Supporters List, but we are giving you ONE FINAL CHANCE to renew your Sustaining Membership,” one email warned. You MISSED our last email and FAILED to renew your membership.

“You have been marked as INACTIVE and have been removed from our official Top Trump Supporters list…At midnight tonight your extended membership offer will permanently expire. This is your FINAL chance to renew your membership to defend President Trump and House Conservatives.”

That sounded harsh, but the Republicans are a party of second chances. On Tuesday they wrote me asking “Why haven’t answered Pres. Trump?” They offered me a slot in a “special enrollment period” and warned “We’re checking our records tomorrow and hope to see your name there.”

Then I got an urgent message suggesting I donate $35 so that I could have my name on the Trump donor wall, made up of “elite, patriot supporters just like you.”

Well, it’s always nice to be wanted but I have no idea how I became such an elite, patriotic Trump supporter, especially because I have never voted for a Republican in my life. I once considered voting for Tommy Thompson, but he was so far ahead in the polls that I saw no need to fudge my record.

Senator Tammy Baldwin also sends me frequent donor requests, which makes more sense because I have occasionally sent her a few (very few) bucks. Tammy, at least, doesn’t threaten me with permanent exile should I ignore her request.

One does have to wonder what the politicians plan to do with all that money.

Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg spent just shy of a half-billion dollars on his campaign to win the Democratic presidential nomination. It wasn’t all wasted. He came in first in balloting in American Samoa.

Senator Bernie Sanders never stops talking about his millions of small dollar donors he has received and Joe Biden pretty much wiped him out Tuesday. Every time I hear Sanders talk he sounds more and more like Larry David: Get off my lawn!

Biden, who has no money and who, before Tuesday, was dismissed by the entire media as an incoherent loser, is now the candidate of the hour.

In the meantime, even as I was writing these words, I received a message from Congressman Steve Scalise warning that “Right now, anti-Trump Liberals are consolidating the support of their Radical Left base and raising millions.”

Thanks, Steve, but I think I’ll pass.