Wineke: Downed drone gives us hope

Dane County Humane Society warns of wildlife lead poisoning

MADISON, Wis. — My favorite news story of the day occurred in the skies above Lake Michigan last month, but it was reported Thursday.

A Michigan state drone helicopter was attacked by a bald eagle. The drone crashed. The eagle flew away.

The drone was mapping the lake shoreline for scientists who hope to deal with erosion. It had an important purpose and, I realize, I am juvenile in rejoicing in reports that it is now on the bottom of one of the Great Lakes.

But, then, juvenile I am.

I am increasingly aware that I am not cut out for today’s world. My younger friends keep offering to teach me Zoom. I don’t want to learn Zoom. I watch brilliant people being interviewed on Zoom during the news programs on cable television. They have the best technology available. They keep getting cut off.

Also, they generally look stupid.

One of my relatives who probably doesn’t want to be identified in this report, wants a new cell phone. She currently has Verizon cell service. I checked her bill. She has three separate Verizon lines. I have no idea what two of them are supposed to do. Verizon won’t tell me unless I provide her PIN.

When I asked her, the response was, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She, incidentally, has every single one of her marbles and could match President Trump in a cognition test. But she retains this quaint idea that telephones are used for talking to people.

At any rate, I bought her one of those Cricket phones you see advertised in AARP bulletins. In order to activate it, I have to go online.

My bank won’t let me in the lobby. I recently spent 15 minutes talking to my cardiologist on the telephone. He told me I am healthy.

So, yeah. I think that eagle had the right idea. Unless, of course, the eagle’s idea was to grab something to eat out of the air. In that case, all it got was a metal drone. I am sure there is a theological insight here someplace.

I am sure you will be happy to know I don’t plan on sharing it with you.

Let’s just say that we are going through frustrating times. In the past, such times inspired us to find solace in church and family and friendships. Now, when we do that, we risk our lives or the lives of those we care about. That’s mostly by using electronic technology.

I appreciate that. I’m glad it’s available to us.

But, just this once, God, I was proud of that eagle!