The Spam Report: Day #54: “Personal Greetings”

Over the last week, I’ve been solicited from Slovakia, Burkina Faso, Malaysia and today’s entry, from Syria.

I could only hope my passport would reflect such travels, but alas, it is just a pitch, albeit one for more than $28 million from the widow of an oil baron killed in the Syrian government’s chemical attack that led to dramatic worldwide outrage.

Simply writing that sentence should indicate to you how ridiculous an email like this is. I particularly dislike the references to God though as it could not be more disingenuous. To pray on people’s faith while scamming them out of money is u-g-l-y and there is no alibi. It’s ugly.

You can thank a friend for the long-lost reference to Goldie Hawn’s Wildcats:

Just hit delete.


—–Original Message—–
From: []
Sent: Monday, December 09, 2013 3:19 PM
To: Recipients
Subject: Personal Greetings.


Godly Greetings to you as i write to introduce myself properly since we have not met or had any contact before. I am Ms. Zeinah Mansour from Zamalka Town in Southern Syria, the wife of Late Dr. Aboulafia Mansour, an Oil Merchant that lost his life in the August 21st 2013 Chemical Attack in Syria by the Bashar al-Assad regime. When my late husband was alive, he deposited the sum of U$28,200,000.00 (Twenty-Eight Million, Two Hundred Thousand United State Dollars) with one Investment House in Western Europe as a bulk security deposit due to the anticipated civil war in Syria. The funds are part of his Capital from his oil Trading Businesses and the funds are still presently with this Financial Firm. Recently my Doctor told me that I might not last for another three months or thereabout due to the damages on my Lungs and Central nervous system which was as a result of my direct exposure to the same deadly Sarin Gas that was used in the said Chemical Attack.


Having known my condition and since my Kids are still infants, I have decided to look for a Godly person like you that will help my kids invest the funds until there are of age to take procession of it. I also want you to invest the funds in a risk free or minimum risk venture of high turnover. I took this decision because my late husband relatives are people of questionable characters and they might even kill me and my kids should they find out about the security deposit. You will be rewarded with 50% of whatsoever profit that come out of the business venture and further agreed percentage from the original funds as a good will gesture for accepting my proposal.


As soon as I receive your positive reply with your full contact details like Full Names, Residential Address, Telephone Number and copy of any of your identity proof, I shall give same to my lawyer that will prepare the necessary documentations from a competent Court that will present you as my legitimate Next of Kin to the deposited Fund. Any delay or none response on your part will give me room in sourcing for another individual for this same purpose. Do remember U$28,200,000.00 (Twenty-Eight Million, Two Hundred Thousand United State Dollars) is a huge amount hence i will appreciate you consider my proposal because i don’t want my kids to loose the funds in the case of my death.


Remain blessed in the name of the Lord, as I hope to have a positive response from you.


Yours in Christ

Ms. Zeinah Mansour.