The Spam Report: Day #239: “My purpose”

I have lived an unbelievably fortunate life. Case in point, my first job out of graduate school in 1991, I lucked into a position with CBS News in London as an “Assistant to the Chief Researcher.” My good fortune continued when, after a week of my being there, the Chief Researcher got appendicitis and due to English health care laws, he was basically out for the next six months. 

He said he could have come back far sooner but since the benefits were there, he’d take them. I don’t mean it sound inconsiderate, but his misfortune was my good fortune.

Anyhow, I became the research department for the London bureau of CBS News. It proved fortuitous when shortly thereafter, Freddie Mercury, the lead singer from Queen died, and no one in the bureau was young enough to understand how cool and important the band was, so at age 21, I was standing next to folks like David Bowie and Paul McCartney getting their reaction to be broadcast to an American audience later that day.

This has been a long back story to simply state how much I loved my time there and remain a huge fan of the British culture. Something about Churchill, learning about the Battle of Britain, seeing the scars of the country that saved western civilization as we know it from the Nazis appealed greatly to me. The Tate Museum, Baker Street and Sherlock Holmes, the theatre, Hyde Park, it’s just a marvelous city.

So, when I received today’s Spam Report submission from Phyllis G., my curiosity was immediately piqued. Here was an honest–er, maybe not so honest–to-goodness spam/scam being sent from the Head Cashier at the Bank of England.

The Brits are always very polite, so it’s no surprise that “Mr. Chris Salmon” tendered an apology to her “but because of the circumstances and urgency surrounding this venture I decided to reach you via this medium.” However, nowhere in the text does he ever elaborate on that point.

I wanted to desperately believe even if this was a scam/spam, which it is, that it had originated from the UK. However, even that was dashed when I saw the amount of money that “Mr. Chris Salmon” was offering up was in “Great British Pounds.” That’s not the name of the currency.

However, for giggles, imagine this guy reading Phyllis’s email aloud because, after all, everything sounds better with a British accent.

Have a great weekend and just hit delete.


From: “Mr. Chris Salmon” <>


Sent: Thursday, October 30, 2014 1:35 PM

Subject: My purpose of contacting you

Dear Friend, 

I must first tender an apology for this unsolicited mail to you. I am conscious that this is certainly not a proper manner of approach to foster a relationship of trust but because of the circumstances and urgency surrounding this venture I decided to reach you via this medium.

Let me start by introducing myself properly; my name is Chris Salmon, I am working with Bank of England as Executive Director,Banking & Chief Cashier.


There is this sum of ?30,600,000.00GBP (Thirty Million, Six Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds) in my bank, there were no beneficiary stated linking to these funds which means nobody would ever come forward to claim it.

My purpose of contacting you is for us to work together, to relocate these funds out of my bank into your bank account or any other empty account of your choice. As soon as the funds are transferred into your elected bank account, we shall then share in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for you.

If interested and equipped to do this business with me, revert back using the below e-mail for more details.

I look onward to hearing from you in the earliest.

Best Regards,

Mr. Chris Salmon

Executive Director,

Banking & Chief Cashier

Tel. (00) 44-793-741-7202