MY DESK: MADISON -

One of the more unappreciated bands of my earlier days, back before I was listening to Barney and Pete Seeger (thanks, Dad) and Phineas and Ferb (thanks, Aunt Liz), was the C+C Music Factory. 

I'm sure you didn't associate dance and hip hop with yours truly and frankly, I remain today every bit as awkward as I was back in the day in terms of actually moving with the beat, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate or enjoy it.

Anyhow, one of the band's songs was "Things that make you go, Hmmm."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF2ayWcJfxo

Now, getting an email from the "CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA" does not make you go "Hmmm," it makes you want to go, "Delete." However, there was a line in that email that vexed me. 

"My watch words for this transaction is probity, transparency, accountability and servicing."

Not sure I want transparency and servicing in any discussion of probity, but hey, that could just be me.

Have a wonderful day and just hit delete.

Adam

-----Original Message-----
From: CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA [mailto:hcvad@image.dk]
Sent: Saturday, August 16, 2014 1:55 PM
Subject: IMMEDIATE SETTLEMENT OF YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA

International Credit Control Office

Mobolaji Bank Anthoney Way ,

Federal Capital Territory Abuja [FCT]

TEL: 234-708-4586-763

Our Ref: CBN/FGN/VO.01/011                       

From The Desk of : Dr. Ade Adeleke.  

DIRECTOR INT’L CREDIT CONTROL OFFICE CODE: HONESTY

Attention: Honourable Unpaid Contract/Inheritance Beneficiary,

Dear Sir/Madam,

RE: IMMEDIATE SETTLEMENT OF YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT WITH THE F. G. N. VIA OUR AFFILIATE BANK OF SETTLEMENT “ JP MORGAN CHASE BANK OF NEW YORK", UNITED STATES  OF AMERICA [USA}.

Based on the recently concluded vetting authenticating and short listing of several unpaid foreign contract/ Inheritance payment  2011  by the President Federal Republic of Nigeria  Dr Goodluck Jonathan  , and  Federal Payment Advisory Board , the Senate Committee on Foreign Debt Payment and servicing, I am compelled to contact you today to commence your payment through our International Bank of Settlement which is the  “ JP Morgan Chase Bank of New York" USA.

My watch words for this transaction is probity, transparency, accountability and servicing. International Banking Ethics which is the same in the world will be implored to guide us for the successful transfer of your fund through Key Tested Telegraphic means. Be assured that all accrued Government taxes, i.e. cost of transfer will be deducted  at source of transfer at “ JP Morgan Chase Bank of New York” and the balance after  deducted taxes will be transferred to your nominated bank account.

Please refrain from dealing with dubious and unscrupulous impostors who might claim to be working for various government agencies, the aim of these people are to ask you for certain payment of money as pre-requisite for your fund release, you will do well to ignore their proposals as the Central Bank of Nigeria and indeed the Government of Nigeria will not be liable for monies paid to these fraudsters.

I shall commence transfer modalities with which you and your bank can work together for the payment, upon the receipt of the following below information on your company letter headed paper.