MY DESK: MADISON -

Happy Friday everyone. As my former colleague in Denver, Gary Shapiro, likes to say, "You made it through the week."

Today, we're featuring an email regular readers of this may remember from a few months ago, but with a twist. Marie from Wilton sends this note from "Erick Bolt" at the FBI.

I published a similar email from the aforementioned FBI executive in March (and clearly I have not been prosecuted), but what amused me about Marie's (and I should point out I amuse pretty easily) was the acronym he uses to describe his unit that found the $4.1 million in cash in a consignment box at JFK Airport which apparently is for her from the Nigerian government and if she doesn't claim it in 72 hours, she'll be prosecuted for "money laundering."

He/she wrote that Bolt belonged to the Field Intelligence Groups of the FBI or "FIGs." Not sure why the plural "s" is in lower-case, but it cracked me up nonetheless.

The world's healthiest fruit is now responsible for making Marie and I financially healthy. They're high in fiber and vitamin B6 and help you lower your blood pressure.

Pretty clear we're talking about the same figs.

Just hit delete.

Have a wonderful weekend. Thanks for sending this in, Marie.

Adam

From: erickbolt@ic.fbi.gov
To: erickbolt@ic.fbi.gov
Subject: RE: FROM THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI)
Date: Wed, 9 Jul 2014 18:41:00 +0100

                                         Federal Bureau of Investigation

                                  Field Intelligence Groups J. Edgar Hoover Building

                                    935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C.

Attention: Beneficiary,

I am Special Agent Erick Bolt from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Field Intelligence Groups (FIGs). We intercepted two consignment boxes at JFK Airport, New York. The boxes were scanned but found out that it contained large sum of money ($4.1 million) and also some backup documents which bears your name as the Beneficiary/Receiver of the money. Investigation was carried out on the diplomat that accompanied the boxes into the United States. Said that he was to deliver the fund to your residence as overdue payment owed to you by the Federal Republic of Nigeria through the security company in United Kingdom.

We cross check all legal documents in the boxes but we found out that your consignment was lacking an important document and we cannot release the boxes to the diplomat until the document is found, we have no other option than to confiscate your consignment.

According to Internal Revenue Code (IRC) in Title 26 also contain reporting requirement on a Form 8300, Report of Cash Payment Over $10,000 Received in a Trade or Business, money laundering activity may violate 18 USC §1956, 18 USC 1957, 18 USC 1960, and provision of Title 31, and 26 USC 6050I of the United States Code (USC), this section will discuss only those money laundering and currency violation under the jurisdiction of IRS, your consignment lacks proof of ownership certificate from the joint team of IRS and IRC, therefore you need to reply back immediately for direction on how to procure this certificate to enable us relieved the charge of evading the law on you, which is a punishable offense in the United States.

You are required to reply back within 72hours or you will be prosecuted in a court of law for money laundering, also you are instructed to desist from further contact with any bank(s) or person(s) in Nigeria or the United Kingdom or any part of the world regarding your payment because your consignment has been confiscated by the Federal Bureau here in the United States.

Yours In Service,

Agent Erick Bolt

Regional Deputy Director

Field Intelligence Groups (FIGs)