MY DESK: MADISON -

Happy Monday all,

I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend. I have spent mine figuring out a way to spend my newly discovered millions or billions, depending on where you believe the commas and/or periods should go in today's Spam Report submission.

Try to follow along at home if you can, but apparently the FBI which has been "seeking to wiretap the internet," out of its Seattle, Washington field office, has discovered that my fund being held in Nigeria is, in fact, legal. So, I have "the legitimate right to complete your transaction to claim your fund sum of US$60.700,000,000.00(sixty  Million Seven Hundred Thousands United States Dollars)."

Now, I read that as $60 billion-plus even though the FBI apparently does not understand that if you've got three sets of three zeroes, that means billions, but I digress. It's been uploaded onto an ATM card for me and all I have to pay is a few hundred dollars to get that sent to me.

What could possibly be the problem here? Oh, I forgot, they want "two original back up documents" as well. We're not going to do that. It's a scam spam.

Whenever you get something like this, take a few minutes to type out a summary and you'll quickly realize it's something that you should either send to Hollywood after you get a literary agent or just hit delete.

Take care,

Adam

From: FBI ALERT DEPT [mailto:alert@fbi.gov]
Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2014 5:07 AM
Subject: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION SEATTLE WA. USA.

OFFICIAL LETTER FROM FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS

1110 3RD AVENUE SEATTLE WASHINGTON

FBI SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET

USA., WA 98101-2904

https://www.fbi.gov

YOUR ATTENTION IS REQUESTED NOW.

FROM: EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEATTLE WASHINGTON. FBI SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)through our intelligence monitoring network has discovered that the transaction that the bank contacted you previously was legal.Recently the fund has been legally approved to be paid via Central Bank of Nigeria. So, we the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Washington Dc, in conjunction with the United Nations (UN) financial department have investigated through our monitoring network noting that your transaction with the Central Bank of Nigeria is legal.

You have the legitimate right to complete your transaction to claim your fund sum of US$60.700,000,000.00 (sixty  Million Seven Hundred Thousands United States Dollars) Because of so much scam going on in Nigeria.We the Federal Bureau of Investigation decided to contact the FedEx Courier Service Company in Nigeria for them to give you procedures on how to send this money to you without any further complain or delay. We just got updates from the Central Bank of Nigeria that they have loaded your $60.700,000,000.00 USD in ATM CARD and submit to the FedEx courier service company for immediate delivery to your doorstep.

You are required to choose one option, which is most convenient for you, for quick delivery of your parcel containing your ATM CARD and other two original back up documents.

Service Type | Delivery Duration | Charges/Fees

------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------- Premium Express (24hrs Delivery) Mailing $200.00 00.00 Insurance $150.00 00.00 Vat $100.00 00.00 TOTAL $450.00 $450(Four Hundred and fifty US Dollars Only).

................................................................

Special Express (2 Days)

Mailing $180.00 00.00

Insurance $70.00 00.00