MY DESK: MADISON -

I've often written in this space about my three children and my spectacular, patient wife. My better half also has a wonderful, dry sense of humor which should make her chuckle when reading today's Spam Report. Who am I kidding, she's chasing three kids around, so the only way she'll know about this is if I remember to discuss it with her on the 15 minutes we speak after getting kids fed, bathed and to sleep tonight.

Anyhow, we've often chronicled in this space the pleas from a war-torn widow who has money from her late husband that she needs our help dispersing somehow. Today's submission takes this to the next level though. Her late husband allegedly died helping the rebels in Syria, she wants political asylum here in the U.S. and wants my help with the $7.5 million he left her.

"(I) need a good honest and God fearing businessman to help me receive this money," Madam Safia writes, "in his country and invest money to buy the house and property for i and my (2) children and we can move to live in your country and get Married."

What?!?!?

She wants to come here to "get Married."

That is worthy of a capital "M" on the word, married. Not going to happen. Sorry, Madam Safia.

Just hit delete. Have a great weekend.

Adam

From: Madam Safia Hassan [mailto:safia.hassan10@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, March 20, 2014 1:47 PM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: Assallamualekum

Peace Be Upon you My name is Madame Safia Hassan Abdel Halim, from Aleppo Syria. my late husband was a business Man and worked under cover for the Government, when the fighting Started he supported the rebels and the Government killed him, they came after my life and my 2 kids but i was rescued thru the United Nation safely to America know where i live with my children. The only money of my late husband That Could i run with is $ 7.5 million dollars which i registered with a security company in London-England i left Syria.now i live in the camp here in America i and my children and i seek for Political asylum to America. i need a good honest and God fearing businessman to help me receive this money in his country and invest money to buy the house and property for i and my children and we can move to live in your country and get Married. Please i will be waiting to your response with your phone number and full name and i am going to hold to your contact via email. Best Regards, Madam Safia