Spam Report

The Spam Report: Day #254: "Attention please"

Published On: Nov 21 2014 09:26:04 AM CST
MY DESK: MADISON -

At my kids' school, they discuss the concept of being a "community helper." Police officers, doctors, nurses, teachers, they all fit into that description, but as I've told my children, there's nothing stopping any of us from being a community helper.

You don't need a badge or an advanced degree to help your neighborhood, your friends, your siblings (please), your parents (pretty, pretty please).

I think I'm going to create a segment called "Neighbors helping Neighbors" or "People helping People," to describe what I've witnessed the last 254 days of posting this blog. So many people have sent in emails as a warning to others.

It's frankly been incredibly reassuring and provided me with a lot of good feelings. So, thank you.

Today's submission comes from Ann Wallace, who is the Executive Director of the UW-Madison Retirement Association.

"Here's one I haven't seen before," she wrote me. "Interestingly, it came to the email box of the UW-Madison Retirement Association, not a private individual."

Unfortunately spam/scam emails don't play favorites. Everyone's a possible victim.

Thanks Ann for your help.

If you get this email, please just hit delete.

Take care and have a great weekend.

Adam  

From: bcliff_welding@iprimus.com.au [mailto:bcliff_welding@iprimus.com.au]
Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2014 11:25 AM
To: info@mail.com
Subject:

Interim Assistance General Manager,

(Operations, Maintenance, Transportation) Harrisburg International Airport Pennsylvania One Terminal Drive, Middle-town, PA 17057, Pennsylvania USA

Attention please

                   Your Abandoned Package For Delivery

I have very vital information to give to you, but first I must have your trust before I review it to you because it may cause me my job, so I need somebody that I can trust for me to be able to review the secret to you.

I am Mr. Kelvin Bryner, head of luggage/baggage storage facilities (Operations, Maintenance,Transportation) here at the Harrisburg International Airport, Pennsylvania USA. During my recent withheld package routine check at the Airport Storage Vault, I discovered an abandoned shipment from a Diplomat from London and when scanned it revealed an undisclosed sum of money in a Metal Trunk Box weighing approximately 110kg. The consignment was abandoned because the Contents of the consignment was not properly declared by the consignee as "MONEY" rather it was declared as personal effect to avoid interrogation and also the inability of the diplomat to pay for the United States Non Inspection Charges which is $3,700USD. On my assumption the consignment is still left in our Storage House here at the Harrisburg International Airport Pennsylvania till date. The details of the consignment including your name, your email address and the official documents from the United Nations office in Geneva are tagged on the Trunk box.

However, to enable me confirm if you are the actual recipient of this consignment as the assistant director of the Inspection Unit, I will advise you provide your current Phone Number and Full Address, to enable me cross check if it corresponds with the address on the official documents including the name of nearest Airport around your city. Please note that this consignment is supposed to have been returned to the United States Treasury Department as unclaimed delivery due to the delays in concluding the clearance processes so as a result of this, I will not be able to receive your details on my official email account.

So in order words to enable me cross check your details, I will advise you send the required details to my private email address for quick processing and response. Once I confirm you as the actual recipient of the trunk box, I can get everything concluded within 48hours upon your acceptance and proceed to your address for delivery. Lastly, be informed that the reason I have taken it upon myself to contact you personally about this abandoned consignment is because I want us to transact this business and share the money 70% for you and 30% for me since the consignment has not yet been returned to the United States Treasury Department after being abandoned by the diplomat so immediately the confirmation is made, I will go ahead and pay for the United States Non Inspection Fee of $3,700 dollars and arrange for the box to be delivered to your doorstep Or I can bring it by myself to avoid any more trouble but you have to assure me of my 30% share.

I wait to hear from you urgently if you are still alive and I will appreciate if we can keep this deal confidential. Please get back to me via my private Email:(kelvinbryner90@gmail.com ) for further directives

Sincerely.

Kelvin Bryner

The Spam Report: Day #253: "I NEED YOUR URGENT REPLY"

Published On: Nov 20 2014 11:37:04 AM CST
Risky Business
MY DESK: MADISON -

I was 13-years-old when the film "Risky Business" came out. It was set on the north shore of Chicago where I grew up with parents who expected a lot of me much like Tom Cruise's character in the film. I will say however I never danced in my underwear in my parents' home.

While the film catapulted Cruise into megastar status, let's just say I don't envision the email posted below to do the same for me.

Sure, "Omar Bello" promises a 60/40% transaction where he's transferring $20.5 million to my account to be "100% risky free." However, I'm not interested in fulfilling the Joe Pantoliano famous line from that film where he says, "Time of your life, huh kid?"

I don't envision a Hollywood ending were I to follow up... as nothing in the spam/scam world is "100% risky free."

I'm hitting delete.

Take care,

Adam

From: Omar Bello [mailto:o_bello2@aol.fr]
Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2014 12:54 AM
Subject: I NEED YOUR URGENT REPLY

Dear Friend,

I want to transfer US$20.5 Million to your bank account. The fund belong to our deceased customer who died with his entire family in Iraq War 2006, leaving nobody for the claim and as such, I decided to contact you to enable us claim the fund. Your share is 40% while 60% for me. This transaction is 100% risky free. Contact me for more details on my private email address which is
 (omarbello217@gmail.com)  

Thanks,
Omar Bello.
Banque Régionale de Solidarite( BRS),
ouagadougou,Burkina Faso

The Spam Report: Day #252: "CAN YOU HELP ORPHANAGES"

Published On: Nov 19 2014 09:44:57 AM CST
Money in wallet
MY DESK: MADISON -

Throughout our efforts to inform people, to empower people to fight back against those who seek to spam/scam them, we've met some wonderfully talented warriors who share this cause.

The folks at DATCP, Sandy Chalmers, in particular, who runs the state's consumer protection division, has been very helpful. Also, Kimberly Hazen and Lisa Schiller with the Wisconsin division of the Better Business Bureau have provided terrific knowledge and advice for us to pass along to you (Editor's Note: Lisa and I worked together back when people had pagers and Sony Walkmen).

Anyhow, Kimberly sent the below email for our perusal today. As she wrote, "First time I've seen this twist on the poor widow email."

If she's never seen it before, it's worth sharing with all of you. That said, how sad is it that we all know of the "poor widow email," and we're now commenting on the spin-offs of it.

Thanks Kimberly. Appreciate what you do.

Take care,

Adam

From: Mrs Marinarin Vivian Akoma.<anne_sedes01@yahoo.co.jp>
Date: Mon, Nov 17, 2014 at 4:12 AM
Subject: CAN YOU HELP ORPHANAGES
To:

My Dear beloved one.

I am Mrs Marinarin Vivian Akoma widow suffering from long time illness cancer and fibroid problems, there is funds I inherited from my late loving husband Dr Johnston Akoma. Who was into Estate management and also a government building contractor before he died in 2005.he deposited the sum of $5.5million US dollars [Five million five hundred thousand US dollars] with a finance company before his death, I need a honest and God fearing person that can use these funds for God's work.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. That is why I am taking this decision, and my doctor has confirmed to me that I have less than three weeks to live, having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a charity or individual that will utilize this money to assist the poor and the needy in accordance to my instructions. I want an organization that will use this fund for orphanages, school and church, widows, propagating the word and work of God.

Please if you would be able to use these funds for the Lord's work kindly reply me. As soon as I have received your response, I will give you further directives on how you are to go about the claims of the said funds.

Yours Sister in Christ,

Mrs Marinarin Vivian Akoma.

 

The Spam Report: Day #251: "Please can you help me with my money?"

Published On: Nov 18 2014 11:03:06 AM CST
The Simpsons
MY DESK: MADISON -

The below represents one of the most insidious spam/scam type of emails out there.

Sam Simon, a noted television producer and co-creator of the Simpsons, is dying of cancer. That much is true. There has been a lot of attention paid recently to his efforts to give away his fortune, mostly toward animal rights groups.

Give the spammers/scammers credit for reading the news, but this is bogus. The Simon Foundation debunked it officially and we will do so here again.

I love that the email claims it's from "Sam Simon," but the address it was sent from is "samsimpson.org." Details matter, spammers/scammers. Details matter.

Just hit delete.

If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com.

Tune in to Live at 5 today as my two oldest kids make their Spam Report debut.

Cheers,

Adam

From: SAM SIMON [mailto:admin@samsimpson.org]
Sent: Sunday, November 16, 2014 10:44 AM
Subject: please can you help me with my money? 

Dear Friend,

My name is Sam Simon,I am The co-creator of The Simpsons,I was (born June 6, 1955)I am an American director, producer, writer, boxing manager and philanthropist in California United State Of America,I am Divorced with no Kids,I have been diagnosed with Colon Cancer which was discovered very lately,because I was un-caring to my health.instead I was too busy with my jobs. It has defiled all forms of medication, and right now am laying down on a sick bed here at MAX INTERNATIONAL HOSPITAL NEW DELHI INDIA.

Kindly Click on this link below for total verification as this transaction is %100 risk free if you are interested.

http://www.salon.com/2013/07/25/terminally_ill_simpsons_co_creator_to_leave_entire_fortune_to_charity/

Thanks for your understanding as you can also Google about me on the internet for total verification.

God Bless You.

Samuel Simon

The Spam Report: Day #250: "Good day"

Published On: Nov 17 2014 10:48:44 AM CST
Hearse, Funeral
MY DESK: MADISON -

"Good day and how are you today?" asks Miss Mimi Wilfried in today's Spam Report.

I'm well, Miss Wilfried. Thank you for asking.

I want to preserve that wellness by eating right, getting the proper amount of sleep each night and staying as far away from your proposal as possible. If your family members poisoned your father, I have no ability to help and I'm very scared to get involved.

Call the police... and for those of us here in Wisconsin or reading this online, please just hit delete.

Cheers,

Adam

From: Wilfried Sena [mailto:wilfriedsena11@gmail.com]
Sent: Sunday, November 16, 2014 1:21 PM
Subject: Good day and how are you today?

Good day and how are you today?

I am Miss Mimi wilfried  20 years old, the only Daughter Of Late
Mr.And Mrs.Wilfried Sena From Burkina Faso .I am an Orphan being that I
lost my Parents. My Father was a serving director of the Agricultural
board in Burkina Faso  here durring His days.

My Father was poisoned to death by his Family members because of His
 Before his death He deposited the sum ($8.500,000.00 USA
in a BANK in  here  Burkina Faso.

Please i want you to help me get my fund out so that i can come join
you and further my education.as soon as i hear from you i will give
you all details about this fund and where it was deposited and you to
contact them so that they can release it to you,
thanks and God bless you.

From Miss Mimi wilfried

The Spam Report: Day #249: "Your Abandoned Consignment"

Published On: Nov 14 2014 03:29:11 PM CST
OTD June 30 - Tower Bridge
MY DESK: MADISON -

Earlier today, two of my children stopped by the station to tape a special segment of The Spam Report with local actor, Tim Towne. You'll see the dramatic readings coming up on Live at 5 in the next few weeks and the kids' dramatic reactions.

I'm posting one of the emails they "performed" that was sent to me by Bob K. He promised me half if I ponied up 50 cents for shipping, but the simple reason I'm posting this is because sometimes, even a 7-year-old knows when to just hit delete.

For my daughter Harper, this came when she heard the free money found in a container at the airport came from a "Diplomat from London/Africa." My daughter, who enjoys Paddington Bear and Mary Poppins books, immediately and politely interrupted Tim's reading to ask, "Isn't London in England, not Africa?"

Yes, my awesome kid, London is in England.

Next time I'm playing Trivial Pursuit, Harper's helping me with the "blue" or geography questions.

Have a great weekend. Thanks for sending this in, Bob.

Adam

From: test@EDCR.local
Subject: Your Abandoned Consignment,
Date: Fri, 7 Nov 2014 01:53:40 -0800
To:

Your Abandoned Consignment,

I am Mr. Sam Smith from the Office of Inspection Unit/United Nations Agency in John F. Kennedy International Airport (JFK) New York USA. During my recent routine check at the Airport Storage/vault on withheld packages, I discovered an abandoned shipment that belongs to you from a Diplomat from London/Africa, when scanned it in our airport scanning machine it revealed an undisclosed sum of money in two Metal Trunk Boxes weighing approximately 25kg each and some people are coming after this consignment to clam it in your name.

The consignment was abandoned because the Contents was not properly declared by the consignee as “MONEY” rather it was declared as personal effect to avoid interrogation and also the inability of the diplomat to pay for the IRREVOCABLE CONSIGNMENT MONEY MOVEMENT Charges Before bringing in the consignment into US and we refused to return back the consignment where it came from since, we have already received it here in USA.

On my assumption, each of the box contain not less than US$5 Million to US$5.5Million and the consignment is still left in our Storage House here at the John F. Kennedy International Airport till date. The details of the consignment including your name, your email address and the official document from the United Nations office in Geneva are tagged on the Metal Trunk boxes in your favor.

However, to enable me confirm if you are the actual recipient of this consignment, as the assistant director of the Inspection Unit, I will advise you to provide your current Phone Number and Full Address, to enable me cross check if it corresponds with the address on the official documents including the Name of the nearest Airport around your city.

Please note that this consignment is supposed to have been returned to the United States Treasury Department as unclaimed delivery due to the delay in concluding the clearance processes. Therefore you are advice to respond to this message and call me immediately as you read. Once I receive your above requested information I can get everything concluded within 3-6 hours upon your acceptance and proceed to your address for delivery. Below is my direct telephone number, I am always out of office for inspection, so if I am unable to pick your call you should know that I have gone for inspection just email me and make sure you include your mobile number so that I can give you a call, but for now i am expecting your call today as you read this message.

Regards,

Mr. Sam Smith.

Office of the Inspection Unit

JFK-John F. Kennedy International Airport New York USA.

Address: Jamaica, New York, NY 11430, United States

Tel #: (516) 331-1831.

The Spam Report: Day #248: "Very Important"

Published On: Nov 13 2014 10:05:51 AM CST
United Nations
MY DESK: MADISON -

We've written this before and we'll state again: The United Nations does not give away tons of money to "victims of scam the world over."

Maybe someone should, but it's not happening now. That's why I've got to do this blog every day.

No matter the fancy language, official titles, etc., a spam/scam is a spam/scam.

Please don't fall for this.

Cheers,

Adam

From: United Nations [mailto:Dancie@ptd.net]
Sent: Wednesday, November 12, 2014 1:29 PM
Subject: Very Important

 

United Nations Headquarters

United Nations, New York, NY 10017, United States

 

Attention:

 

This mail serves as a listening ear to the victims of scam the world over.

We have been having a meeting for the past 7 months which ended 2

days ago with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization.
 

This message is to help everyone that has been scammed in any part of

the world, the United Nations have agreed to compensate them with the

sum of US$800,000. This includes every foreign contractors that may

not have received their contract sum, and people that have had an

unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to

Government problems etc.

 

We have a database of victims and that is why we are contacting you,

this has been deliberated upon and is among our set of priorities

The Spam Report: Day #247: "Dear friend"

Published On: Nov 12 2014 05:00:11 PM CST
cell phone
MY DESK: MADISON -

"Dear friend"

I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to post this blog today, but I've been off trying to earn a living, doing interviews for a story, and clearly missing the boat on potential business deals that could earn me 40% of $17.5 Million US Dollars.

If I had a nickel for every time I see a spam/scam email that promises to be "100% risk free," I'd be rich in more than just the parental way. Today's example of the butchering of the English language is the following sentence or more appropriately described as a fragment: "it will be legally backed up with government approved"

Government approved what?

Sorry Tom Coulibaly or whatever your name is who is spamming/scamming me from France (that's where the aol account is registered).

In my line of work, I'm always surprised when someone calls me a "friend." Sadly, I'm not surprised this type of drivel continues to be sent my way.

Just hit delete.

Take care and sorry again for the delay in posting.

Adam

From: Tom Coulibaly [mailto:tom.coulibaly2t@aol.fr]
Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2014 2:54 PM
Subject: Dear friend

Dear friend 

I am contacting you on a business deal of $17.5 Million US Dollars, ready for
transfer into your account
 
The depositor of the said fund died with his entire family during the
Iraq war in 2006, unfortunately leaving nobody for the claim. if we
make this claim, we will share it 60%/40%.
 
100% risk free and it will be legally backed up with government approved
 
If you are interested reply for more details.
Reply to alternative email address. (mr.tomcoulibaly@gmail.com)
 
Waiting for your reply
Best regard, Mr.Tom Coulibaly

The Spam Report: Day #246: "My Proposition Below"

Published On: Nov 11 2014 09:35:11 AM CST
Overrated - Attorney
MY DESK: MADISON -

There is a plethora of riches to choose from today as many of you sent in some funny emails to warn your neighbors about. This blog is not about picking favorites. There's more than enough days for everyone to get one.

For the 246th day of The Spam Report, let's start with what Jim in Sun Prairie sent me.

It's your typical dead guy with no relatives left millions and now, it's up to his "solicitor at law" in Italy to settle the estate.

"That sounds pretty darn important," wrote Jim. 

Usually, these emails feature west African nations with dead oil and gas executives, but maybe the Ebola scare in the region has bluffed the spammers/scammers to focus their spam/scam on western Europe instead. However, Jim's not buying what they're selling.

"I am German/Irish," he wrote, "but who knows... some may have made it over to Italy. :)"

Or, it's some guy on a beach in Florida paying higher cheese prices for his pizza, the closest to Italian he'll ever be.

Just hit delete.

Thanks for playing along, Jim.

Take care.

Adam

-----Original Message-----

From: matteobarni <matteobarni@cantv.net>
To: Recipients <matteobarni@cantv.net>
Sent: Mon, Nov 10, 2014 1:55 pm
Subject: My Proposition Below

Good day my dear friend,

This is a personal email directed to you and I request that it be treated as such. I am by name Matteo Barni, a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney/sole executor to the late client, who lived in my country of birth and worked as an independent oil magnate in Italy. He died in a car crash with his immediate family on the 4th of October 2000. Since the death of my client in Oct 2000, I have made efforts with intent to locate any of his extended relatives whom shall be claimants/beneficiaries of his abandoned personal estate to no avail.

Like I said, upon the receipt of your reply, I will send you by e-mail: ( matteobarni@skyteams.biz ) the next step to take. I will not also fail to bring to your notice that this proposal is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any fears as necessary arrangements have been made for the completion of this transfer. Like I have implied, I require only a solemn confidentiality on this!

Best regards,
Matteo Barni Esq.
Attorney At Law.
Please send your response to my confidential Email:  matteobarni@skyteams.biz

The Spam Report: Day #245: "Hello"

Published On: Nov 10 2014 10:08:39 AM CST
Lottery tickets
MY DESK: MADISON -

Good morning. I hope you had a nice weekend.

Regular readers of this blog (my wife and Mom) have seen me mention before, I loathe the lazy spammer/scammer. Here they are trying to take my/your money and yet, they don't have the decency to put forth a good effort in doing so.

Case in point, the email sent to me by Ron D., can be found in nearly identical form online with a time stamp of May 2010 on it. So, four and a half years ago, this same spam/scam was sent to who knows how many potential victims.

That's just pathetic. None of the vitals have changed.

Copying and pasting the name of the alleged sender into any internet search engine will be your first clue of a spam/scam. It should be your last as well.

Just hit delete.

Adam

-----Original Message-----

From: Alfred Leonard [mailto:michrobng@gmail.com]

Sent: Friday, September 12, 2014 5:51 PM

To: undisclosed-recipients:

Subject: Hello

Hello,

I am Alfred Leonard, An American Citizen; born on JUNE 10 1963, currently living and working here in London, UK. I am the Personal Secretary to Mr. Michael Crawford, the controller of National Lottery, UK. I am having problem with a 6 yrs old daughter who has leukemia, a disease of the blood, and she needs a bone marrow transplant. Please I am only asking for your help and you will benefit from it. As an insider, working with the controller, I want you to send me your Name, Address, Tel, Date of birth to play the lotto on your name, I have some winning numbers link on secret data system. The National Lottery is an online entry with cash/credit card anywhere with participant details.

I want you to send me the name to play with, while I will send you the ticket to show the numbers I played for your reference. I will play with my money on your name and the winning will be shared on equal ratio. The National Lottery will contact you immediately the results are released as an International winner. Get back to me if you are interested. The lotto can be played with 5 - 50 Pounds but the winning is millions. Remember, I just want to front you for this, because I need this money to save the life of my little daughter. Employees here are not allowed to play.

Thanks and I wait for your answer

Alfred George Leonard.

The Spam Report: Day #244: Family notice

Published On: Nov 07 2014 01:41:44 PM CST
Protect data online - Passwords - 1
MY DESK: MADISON -

I know people think there are all sorts of folks getting free stuff from the government, but come on spammers/scammers out there, do we really seem that gullible? Do we look as if we'll fall for the old "you know gullible is not in the dictionary?" gig?

Thanks to Al B. for sending this one in.

My favorite is the line that reads "It's open to residents of..." 

Brings to my mind another great line from "The Princess Bride."

I love Vizzini.

Have a great weekend.

Adam

From: Kathy <support@faster.idield.com>
To: Al
Sent: Friday, November 7, 2014 7:05 AM
Subject: Family Notice


Hello Al, Kathy here with some great news.

I've got 5,730 reason you should be excited.

The government is currently issuing grants of up to $5,730 in and nationwide.

It's open to residents of . You must be at least 18 years old.

This means you're eligible to get a check. While it lasts. Click here for more info.

The money is from Federal Grant Programs. You can use it to pay for online classes. This will help you earn a degree and possibly get a better paying job.

This money can be direct deposited straight to your account.

This doesn't cost a thing. It only takes about 2 minutes to check.

Click Here now...

Best Wishes,
Kathy
 

The Spam Report: Day #243: Print your airline tickets

Published On: Nov 06 2014 08:56:42 AM CST
MY DESK: MADISON -

I present to you today another example of how we can fight back against the spam/scam out there. Every day, I'm heartened to hear of another consumer who took the step to verify, to check something out, so as not to be scammed.

Thanks to Mary Lou R. who sent this in today.

I'll simply quote her and allow her to debunk this for you.

"This was received in our email account today. We called Southwest Airlines and they informed us this was "spam".

We feared that someone had used our credit card to purchase airline tickets.

You will notice, though, when you scroll down...some sort of a rant.

Really enjoy your consumer protection segments!

MARY LOU"

Mary Lou took control and did not allow herself to be victimized. We can all learn a lesson from that when it comes to spam/scam... and I will say, the rant below that she mentioned, which might be part of a different spam/scam email, is kind of funny while having nothing at all to do with Southwest Airlines.

Remember, we never click on emailed links from people we don't know. That can only lead to problems.

Take care and just hit delete.

Adam

From: "Flight change" <Aron@hivehilt.com>
Date: November 5, 2014 at 10:51:43 AM CST
To: <Mary Lou R.>
Subject: Print your Southwest airline tickets here

Boarding Time Update FOR Mary Lou R.

Your trip itinerary has changed and needs your confirmation

///////////// Wednesday, November 5, 2014 /////////////

.....................................................................................

Please confirm changes to your boarding time for Locator # 308503679-XSWE2
http://for.hivehilt.com/air/line_tickets+171453872e7_conf/irmation_locator=439303south_west_225198236

.....................................................................................

Your itinerary is as follows:

Traveler 1                Mlreisch
Airline Ticket Number:            308503679 - Electronic
Seat preference:            Any Seat
Meal (if available):            Standard
Requests for disabled travelers:    Notice to airline of the ticket number

Second passenger info needs to be inputted here:
http://for.hivehilt.com/air/line_tickets+171453872e7_conf/irmation_locator=213102south_west_225198236

****************************************************************************************

Here is your checklist for travel - confirm you've done all the steps:
http://for.hivehilt.com/air/line_tickets+171453872e7_conf/irmation_locator=213103south_west_225198236


Happy Holidays,
Betsy F.
SW Agent


You can not be a part of/this when seeing//
http://for.hivehilt.com/air/line_tickets+171453872e7_conf/irmation_locator=5412416south_west_225198236
RewardZone USA P.O. Box 461

Also can travel to//
Http://for.hivehilt.com/171453872e7/2130784=225198236
315-se-Penn-Avenue-Washington-dc-20003-1148


enemy after which they lost ground in every quarter. Their main body was prevented from advancing by our army which daily augmented by great numbers who voluntarily took the field. Large divisions of the enemy’s army were attacked and repulsed and the whole soon after fell into the hands of our brave General and his troops.

            When the news of this capture reached Europe it filled the minds of our enemies with whom they are indebted for the blessings they enjoy they could not but feel highly grateful to him. A grateful mind must always be acceptable to God all therefore should be solicitous that their mind be thus disposed and if they are truly grateful to him they cannot but be ready to offer him a tribute of praise and to conduct in such a manner as to glorify him.To live as God requires is the most substantial praise that men can pay him. This shows that they have a proper sense of their obligations to him and are studious to glorify him: All 

At 32,000 feet, somewhere over Arkansas, Southwest Airlines allowed a rare, in-flight wedding for two loyal customers.

"How many of you thought you were going to a wedding today?," asked Ana Schwager, Southwest employee, over the intercom of Flight 4058 as the airliner soared west.

Not long after climbing out of Nashville on Sunday afternoon, a 4-year-old flower girl named Sydney passed out peanuts on the crowded Dallas-bound jet.

Moments later, as music played, Dottie Coven danced down the aisle in her white wedding dress and veil to marry Keith Stewart.

"A lot of things around flying tend to not be fun," she said. "Let's make it fun again!"

"We are gathered here today - whether you intended to or not - to celebrate the wedding of Dottie Coven and Keith Stewart," said the officiant.

to shine upon us—hath made a way for our escape and hath granted us salvation let us be grateful to him—let us show our gratitude by offering him sacrifices of thanksgiving—let us bring our victims for this purpose to the altar and there keep them bound ready to be offered to God to show our gratefulness and the joy of our hearts. Such was the exhortation of David to the people of Israel when God had showed peculiar favors to him and them and in similar circumstances a people at this day should consider the exhortation as directed to them. And in treating upon

The Spam Report: Day #242: "From Richard Derek"

Published On: Nov 05 2014 11:44:10 AM CST
Lanikai Beach in Oahu, Hawaii
MY DESK: MADISON -

The first thing that popped into my mind when I saw today's submission--well, let's just say I hearkened back to the 12-year-old me and the most famous "Derek" of my era. Many pre-pubescent, pre-teens alive in 1979 dreamed of going to a movie like "10" and yet, quickly realized their parents would never let them.

It does not make me feel any better to know that, not only is it not Bo Derek soliciting me, but that it is "not a hoax mail." 

If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, walks like a duck, it's a duck.

Just hit delete and realize there's a reason why I didn't attach any video to this post.

Take care,

Adam

From: Richard Derek [mailto:richard_derek1177@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2014 5:39 AM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: From Richard Derek

Hello,

I wish to inform you that this letter is not a hoax mail and I urge you to treat it serious. We want to transfer to overseas account ($30,000.000.00USD) Thirty million United States Dollars) from a prime Bank here in London. I want to ask you, If you are not capable to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new Bank a/c immediately to receive this money, even an empty a/c can serve to receive this money, along as you will remain honest to me till the end for this important business trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either now or in the future.

I am Mr. Richard Derek, presently promoted to Auditor General in one of the banks here in London. During the course of our auditing last week, I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank in 2000 and since 2004 nobody has operated on this account again, after going through some old files in the records I discovered that the owner of the account died without a [Heir/WILL] hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing.The owner of this account is an American and a great industrialist and a resident of Alaska State, who unfortunately lost his life in the plane, crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on January 31 2003, including his wife and only daughter leaving nobody to claim the money . No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that the account is a secret account. The total amount involved is Thirty million United States Dollars only[$30,000.000.00] and we wish to transfer this money into a safe foreigners account abroad. But I don't know any foreigner; I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be approved to a local person here, but to a foreigner who has information about the account, which shall give to you upon your positive response.

I am revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, you are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take urgently. I need your strong assurance that you will never let us down, me and a key bank official who is deeply involved with me in this business. I guarantee you that this transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law The bank official will destroy all documents of the transaction immediately you receive this money leaving no trace to any place. I will use my position and influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance from the relevant ministries and foreign exchange departments.At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 30% of the total amount,70% will be for us.

PLEASE,TREAT THIS PROPOSAL AS TOP SECRET.

I look forward to your earliest reply

Best Regards

Richard Derek

The Spam Report: Day #241: "Just has long arms."

Published On: Nov 04 2014 10:31:51 AM CST
Giant_Squid
MY DESK: MADISON -

I will stipulate from the beginning that I don't anticipate any of you or anyone for that matter somehow getting in trouble with an email like I'm presenting today.

Then again, The Spam Report doesn't always need to be the Spam/Scam Report.

The title of this email caught my attention: "Just has long arms."

Maybe it's because I watched the trailer for the upcoming "Penguins of Madagascar" film with the kids and the bad guy is a squid named Dave, that I have long arms on the brain. Anyhow, I actually read this email.

Nothing else is as funny as "Just has long arms," but in successive sentences, I'm thanked for my business interest and then, asked if I have business interest.

Unless you want to answer an unsolicited Chinese company's overture, I'd just hit delete.

Take care,

Adam

From: print06@amusing-tablets.vicp.cc [mailto:print06@amusing-tablets.vicp.cc] On Behalf Of Sandro
Sent: Monday, November 03, 2014 2:48 PM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: Just has long arms.

Good day.

This is greeting from a professional printing company based in China.

Glad to hear you are in the market for printing service.

Are you on the market for paper products?

On your desk, there may be business cards, cover folders, catalogue, books, pens, sticky memo pads with compliments etc.

Accurate quote will be provide upon receipt of your response.

Sincerely yours,

Sandro

Taihe Industrial Co., LTD

Add: #6-1801, Xiadun Industrial Area, Wenxian Road, Putian City, China 351100

Tel: +865942551683 / 18050497705

Web:oversea-supply.com

The Spam Report: Day #240: "PICK UP YOUR $5000"

Published On: Nov 03 2014 10:13:31 AM CST
Ebola
MY DESK: MADISON -

If you've not been in a hole the last couple of months and since we're not approaching Y2K, I'm assuming you haven't been married to the portable generator, a large stash of bottled water and cans of SPAM, then you know of the Ebola virus and the toll it's taking, particularly in western Africa.

Here in Madison, anyone who goes to the doctor these days, even my kids as they went to get a flu shot last week, are asked about whether they've visited western Africa as we are doing everything to prevent the possible spread of the potentially fatal disease.

So, when my colleague at work, Gerrit Marshall, who once did a wonderful physical impression of Ernest Hemingway and is now in the process of writing a wonderful novel in that vein, sent me the email below, it led to one of those great moral conundrums in life.

The premise of the scam/spam email is no different than we've seen and dissected before. Gerrit has to pay $45 to Western Union to get the first $5,000 of his $2.5 million. I've re-read the email a few times and still don't understand how Gerrit won this money, but that's neither here nor there.

His contact person for all this is located in the western African nation of Benin. Now, Ebola has not been found in that country, but the World Health Organization is preparing to fight the disease that is out of control in neighboring Liberia, Guinea, and Sierra Leone.

The real question to ask yourself though... would you risk contracting a fatal disease for access to $2.5 million? This is purely hypothetical, of course, as the email below is a scam/spam. There is no real money to be had by responding to an unsolicited email promising money. However, it's an interesting question by the fire some night with a hot apple cider or if we're talking about Hemingway, something stronger.

Maybe I can get you a copy of Gerrit's novel when it's finished, so you have some reading to do there after your conversation.

Just hit delete.

Take care. Hope you had a nice weekend.

Adam

Reply-To: <wumbenin999@gmail.com>

From: Western Union Office <geral@mun-setubal.pt>

Subject: PICK UP YOUR $5000 WITH THIS MTCN: 705 668 6653.

Date: July 25, 2014 at 8:48:34 PM CDT

To: Undisclosed recipients:;

Attention Dear,

This is to bring to your notice that my office has taking over all the money Transaction originated from any part of African/ Europe and Asia counties etc. as Contract payment, Fund inheritance or Lottery Winning, Atm Debit cards, henceforth commercial banks, Security Companies, Atm Credit and Debit Union including any offshore payment centers are no more authorized to handle release of funds.

I write to inform you that we have already sent you US$5000.00 Dollars through Western union as we have been given the mandate to transfer your payment total sum of US$2.5 Million USA Dollars, via western union by this government.

I decided to email you the MTCN and sender name so that you will pick up your US$5000.00 to enable them send another $5000.00 usd today as you know we will be sending you only $5000.00 USD per day till you receive the total sum of $2.5 Million USA Dollars, and it was agreed that you will pay the sum of $45 for the (INHERITANCE CERTIFICATE OF YOUR FUND) before they will release the payment to you.

Your payment of $5.000 is ready. To check your money enters WESTERN UNION WEBSITE BELOW:

Website: https://wumt.westernunion.com/asp/orderStatus.asp?country=global
CLICK TRACKING
ENTER your MTCN
Here Is The Senders Information
MTCN: 705 668 6653
Senders Name: TONY MORBA
COUNTRY : Benin Republic
CITY : Cotonou
QUESTION : AMOUNT  SENT ?
ANSWER : $5000.
AMOUNT:$5000

You are hereby advise to call Director of Operation Mr. John Nna on +229 68552468, Email :( wumbenin999@gmail.com ) because he is the person in charge for your payment. Email him today. Note that your $5000 is placed on hold pending when you send them the $45 Dollars you can pick up your $5000 immediately.

Here is the information to send the charges of $45

RECEIVER-------------JOHN  NNA
COUNTRY-----------------BENIN
LOCATION CITY---------COTONOU-BENIN
TEXT QUESTION--GOOD?
ANSWER-----------GOOD
AMOUNT--------------$45

As soon as you send the money with this information above, kindly email to us with the payment details such as MTCN Number and the Senders Name.

Thanks,
Mr. John Nna
Reply to ( wumbenin999@gmail.com  )
Phone: +22968552468.

The Spam Report: Day #239: "My purpose"

Published On: Oct 31 2014 10:02:48 AM CDT
London generic
MY DESK: MADISON -

I have lived an unbelievably fortunate life. Case in point, my first job out of graduate school in 1991, I lucked into a position with CBS News in London as an "Assistant to the Chief Researcher." My good fortune continued when, after a week of my being there, the Chief Researcher got appendicitis and due to English health care laws, he was basically out for the next six months. 

He said he could have come back far sooner but since the benefits were there, he'd take them. I don't mean it sound inconsiderate, but his misfortune was my good fortune.

Anyhow, I became the research department for the London bureau of CBS News. It proved fortuitous when shortly thereafter, Freddie Mercury, the lead singer from Queen died, and no one in the bureau was young enough to understand how cool and important the band was, so at age 21, I was standing next to folks like David Bowie and Paul McCartney getting their reaction to be broadcast to an American audience later that day.

This has been a long back story to simply state how much I loved my time there and remain a huge fan of the British culture. Something about Churchill, learning about the Battle of Britain, seeing the scars of the country that saved western civilization as we know it from the Nazis appealed greatly to me. The Tate Museum, Baker Street and Sherlock Holmes, the theatre, Hyde Park, it's just a marvelous city.

So, when I received today's Spam Report submission from Phyllis G., my curiosity was immediately piqued. Here was an honest--er, maybe not so honest--to-goodness spam/scam being sent from the Head Cashier at the Bank of England.

The Brits are always very polite, so it's no surprise that "Mr. Chris Salmon" tendered an apology to her "but because of the circumstances and urgency surrounding this venture I decided to reach you via this medium." However, nowhere in the text does he ever elaborate on that point.

I wanted to desperately believe even if this was a scam/spam, which it is, that it had originated from the UK. However, even that was dashed when I saw the amount of money that "Mr. Chris Salmon" was offering up was in "Great British Pounds." That's not the name of the currency.

However, for giggles, imagine this guy reading Phyllis's email aloud because, after all, everything sounds better with a British accent.

Have a great weekend and just hit delete.

Adam


From: "Mr. Chris Salmon" <chrisalmon@bankofengland.co.uk>

To: <undisclosed-recipients:>

Sent: Thursday, October 30, 2014 1:35 PM

Subject: My purpose of contacting you

Dear Friend, 

I must first tender an apology for this unsolicited mail to you. I am conscious that this is certainly not a proper manner of approach to foster a relationship of trust but because of the circumstances and urgency surrounding this venture I decided to reach you via this medium.

Let me start by introducing myself properly; my name is Chris Salmon, I am working with Bank of England as Executive Director,Banking & Chief Cashier.

BUSINESS:

There is this sum of ?30,600,000.00GBP (Thirty Million, Six Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds) in my bank, there were no beneficiary stated linking to these funds which means nobody would ever come forward to claim it.

My purpose of contacting you is for us to work together, to relocate these funds out of my bank into your bank account or any other empty account of your choice. As soon as the funds are transferred into your elected bank account, we shall then share in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for you.

If interested and equipped to do this business with me, revert back using the below e-mail for more details.

I look onward to hearing from you in the earliest.

Best Regards,

Mr. Chris Salmon

The Spam Report: Day #238: "LETTER FROM MRS ANNA JOY"

Published On: Oct 30 2014 10:52:20 AM CDT
MY DESK: MADISON -

There are memes, gifs and all sorts of homages out there to the famous President Clinton line, "I feel your pain."

In today's Spam Report, we have our version in the form of a "LETTER FROM MRS ANNA JOY," courtesy of Bob B. who sent this in. If we are to believe what we read, "MRS ANNA JOY" traveled personally to Nigeria to get her just compensation and while there, she met up with a Reverend Anderson, who showed her Bob's name on a list of those who are owed compensation and that's why she's reaching out to him.

She feels his pain... and were he to respond, to engage, to not just hit delete, I think we know Bob would really feel some pain.

Thanks for playing, Bob. This is bogus.

Adam

-------- Begin forwarded message --------

Subject: LETTER FROM MRS ANNA JOY.....

Date: 10/28/14 3:10:14 PM

From: victoriahappiness530@yahoo.com

To: "Recipients" <victoriahappiness530@yahoo.com>

Attn:Beneficiary,

I am Mrs. Anna Joy, I am a US citizen, 48 years Old. I reside here in New Braunfels Texas. My residential address is as follows.108 Crockett Court.Apt 303, New Braunfels Texas, United States, am thinking of relocating since I am now rich. I am one of those that took part in the Compensation in Nigeria many years ago and they refused to pay me,I had paid over $20,000 while in the US, trying to get my payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel down to Nigeria with all my compensation documents, And I was directed to meet Reverend.Anderson ,who is the member of COMPENSATION AWARD COMMITTEE, and I contacted him and he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake.

He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment.Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth because I have received my compensation funds of $800,000.00 Moreover, Reverend.Anderson, showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payments and I saw your name as one of the beneficiaries, and your email address, that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people, they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you.I will advise you to contact Reverend Anderson. You have to contact him directly on this information below.

JOAKIN COMPENSATION HOUSE

Name : Reverend.Anderson

Email:  reverendanderson@yahoo.com

Telephone: +2347032320155

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.

The only money I paid after I meet Reverend. Anderson was just $155 Usd for the paper works, take note of that. Once again stop contacting those people, I will advise you to contact Reverend. Anderson so that he can help you to Transfer your Fund into your account, instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around asking for different kind of money to complete your transaction.

Thank You and Be Blessed.

Mrs. Anna Joy

The Spam Report: Day #237: "Order Urgent"

Published On: Oct 28 2014 09:04:29 AM CDT
Green or Not - Rubber Mulch
MY DESK: MADISON -

Back when I was in high school, the speech I gave for my forensics team featured the story of the tortoise and the hare. I'm generally a slow and methodical personality. The premise of the speech was that you should control and take care of what you can as the speed and chaos of the world doesn't often give you a choice.

Anyhow, whenever I see the word "urgent" in a headline, I'm inclined to dismiss it. Nothing I'm getting by email is ever truly "urgent." Especially as it relates to a solicitation from someone wanting to buy my "Mulch Adhesive," but only if I can ship to Haiti. 

I hope Mr. Chris found some success as my lack of urgency can't help him at all and neither can the fact I work at a television station.

Tune in during Live at 5 to see local actor Tim Towne perform/read aloud/stage the latest "Spam Report" video segment.

Take care and just hit delete.

Adam

From: kelvin chris [mailto:chrisoffice1@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 22, 2014 7:54 AM
Subject: Order Urgent

Hi! Sales,

     How are you doing today! I'm Mr. Kelvin Chris and am interested in purchasing some of your Mulch Adhesive  but firstly i want to make an inquiry if you can ship directly to Haiti. Do you accept credit card payment ? Can you send me your price if possible. I will await your reply Asap, Thank you and God blessed you .

Sincerely

Mr.Chris

The Spam Report: Day #236: "Immediate Response Needed"

Published On: Oct 27 2014 04:38:09 PM CDT
OTD October 5 - Charlton Heston
MY DESK: MADISON -

I have been summoned to provide an immediate response to the following question sent to me by email. Is a "Mr. Moses" working on my behalf to recover $2.4 million left in Habib Bank AG Zurich by a Mr. Robert Johnson who died in a mining accident?

Since this blog over the last nine months has been a journey through my love of old films, the only thing that immediately happened after reading this query was for me to go to YouTube to find this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5xw-1RccHk

So, I say to you, Mike Holtby, Barrister Patrick Bellow, Simon Brown, Mr. Moses (all names mentioned in the spam/scam) or whomever sent me and others this email: Let my email address go.

Hope you had a nice weekend.

Adam

From: test@abgastana.com [mailto:test@abgastana.com] On Behalf Of Mike Holtby
Sent: Friday, October 24, 2014 9:57 AM
Subject: Immediate Response Needed

Good day,

I am pleased to inform you that we have received instructions to make a payment of 2,400,000 USD to you. This is in line with the Last Will and Testament of Mr. Robert Johnson whom worked with us as a 'Mining Consultant' for the past 17 years. He died in after an accident at one of our mining sites. The afore-mentioned amount is the total gratuity fund to be paid to Mr.Johnson upon retirement. His attorney provided your email address as the only contact information left by the deceased through which we can get in touch with you; but that is not enough to confirm your identity.

After series of meetings, we have finally arrived at a decision to pay the afore-mentioned sum to you pending proper verification and documentation from his attorney. Therefore you are expected to contact his attorney, Barrister Patrick Bello to start your verification process to enable us release the money to you. His contact information is as follows:

Name::  Barrister Patrick Bello

email:: barr.patbello@yahoo.com

Furthermore, after the first email which I sent to you 2 weeks ago, a man whose name is Mr. Moses Edward contacted us last week claiming that he is working under your instructions and authority. He also provided the following information for payment of the money.

BANK NAME: Habib Bank AG Zurich

ACCT. NAME: Moses Edward

ACCT. NUMBER: 70221920

Please confirm if Mr. Moses is acting under your authority and that you approved that your money be paid into the above Bank account in Germany.

I expect to hear from you soon. Thank you.

Simon Brown

Chief Accountant,

Shell, West-Africa

The Spam Report: Day #235: "Notification"

Published On: Oct 24 2014 09:16:55 AM CDT
Times Square, New York City
MY DESK: MADISON -

Thanks to Joyce L. in Janesville for sending in today's Spam Report.

Apparently, the head U.N. inspector at JFK Airport in New York found a couple boxes there with her and other "undisclosed-recipients" names on it and wants to return it to her house, in person. These boxes allegedly hold $3-$4 million each.

Forget for a minute that the United Nations has no, let me repeat that, NO legal authority to inspect anything on U.S. soil. Now that a doctor in NYC has tested positive for Ebola, nothing's getting out of New York in the next 24 hours. Nothing.

Joyce plans to hit delete and I'd suggest you do the same. Thanks for sending it in. 

If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com

Have a great weekend.

From:Richard D. Lenski

To:undisclosed-recipients:

Sent: Thursday, October 23, 2014 11:25 AM

Subject: Notification

Richard D. Lenski

INSPECTION UNIT

J.F. K International Airport New York

Hi,

I am Richard D. Lenski, Chief Inspection Agent- United Nations Inspection Unit at John F. Kennedy International airport, New York- working hand in hand with Department of Homeland Security and U.S Customs and Border Protection. During our investigation, I discovered an abandoned shipment from a Diplomat from Africa via UN office-London UK and when scanned it revealed an undisclosed sum of money in a metal trunk box weighing approximately 25kg each. The consignment was abandoned because the Content was not properly declared by the consignee as money rather it was declared as photographic materials and personal effect to avoid diversion by the shipping agent and also the Diplomat inability to pay for Non Inspection Fees.

On my assumption, each of the boxes will contain about $3Million to $4Million each and the consignment is still left in the airport storage facility till today. The consignment is two metal boxes with weight of about 25kg each. Apparently, the details of the consignment including your name and address are tagged on the Metal Trunk boxes.

Provide your name, phone number and full home address, to cross check if it corresponds with the name and address on the consignment including the name of nearest airport around your city and other details. You can send the requested information to me by email for onward delivery. All communication must be held extremely confidential. I can get everything concluded within 24 hours upon your acceptance and proceed to your address for delivery if you assure me of sharing the content 30%/70% with you on my arrival to your house. 

Below is my direct telephone number but send me all the requested information to my email


Richard D. Lenski

INSPECTION UNIT

J.F Kennedy International Airport, New York

Tel: 17188317166

rickylenski@diplomats.com

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