Spam Report

The Spam Report: Day #216: "Outside the Canada"

Published On: Sep 12 2014 02:46:36 PM CDT
Canada
MY DESK: MADISON -

First off, I don't know what it is about the figure of $10.5 million, but I've received no fewer than 22 emails promising me that exact figure in inheritance, investment opportunities, etc. Sometimes, it's USD $10.5 million or USD $10,500,000.00 or, as in the email below, it's the standard $10.5 million.

Any way you look at it, I should be a millionaire many times over. And I'm not. Of that, I assure you.

There's nothing particularly unique about the business proposition below except that for it to come from a Canadian banker, who should speak English, it exhibits particularly poor grammar.

I really enjoyed the idea that the spammer/scammer wanted to invest the money "outside the Canada."

That made me chuckle.

Over the next week, I will be "outside the News 3" and not producing this daily scintillating piece of journalism. I can hear your audible groans from here.

See you a week from Monday and remember to just hit delete.

Adam

From: David Mckay [mailto:david102@luukku.com]
Sent: Tuesday, September 02, 2014 1:55 AM
Subject: Re: Your Mail

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am David Mckay an accountant by profession, and acts as a private consultant to some clients in Canada ranging from top business personals, serving and retired Army. Colonel, Lieutenant-Colonel and top Government functionaries whose privacy is shrouded in topmost secrecy.

As stated above I have client's mandate to seek for a reputable, and well-established individual to help channel some funds into profitable investment abroad. The proposed funds are an estimated ($10.5 million) and he his specific in investing these funds outside the Canada.

Meanwhile, I have worked out the moralities and technicalities whereby the funds can be claimed in any of our 6 Clearing Houses without any hitches. Our sharing ratio will be 50-50%. If you are interested, you should send your direct phone number so we could discuss more on phone as regard the transaction.

I hope you will treat my request with expediency as time is of great importance to my client. Write me back to my Private email: mckay_d01@superposta.com

Thanks.

Royal Bank of Canada

Mr. David Mckay

http://www.rbc.com/newsroom/down2-mckay.html

The Spam Report: Day #215: "Transaction #"

Published On: Sep 11 2014 01:53:54 PM CDT
Lake Monona water madison body
MY DESK: MADISON -

Throughout the course of asking you for help in warning your neighbors against predatory spam/scam emails, I've been lucky enough to have repeat customers, if you will. Folks who unfortunately receive lots of this kind of correspondence and have sent it my way to feature.

One of those people is Janet G. in Madison. She sent me an email this morning that she'd received and wrote me a note that stated, "Once again, I am the 'lucky recipient' of a huge sum of money! Imagine that?"

Her wording got me to thinking, just how lucky has Janet been in the time she's corresponded with me since last October. So, I went back into my email archives and found that Janet's sent me six emails in that time frame.

The subject matter of those are as follows: an official-looking security notification from a credit card she doesn't have, a promise of an easy, from-home job that could earn her $1,000/week, and a request for money from friends who allegedly were robbed in Istanbul (fact check: they never went).

Her real luck though comes from the $10.5 million she was promised by the Central Bank of Nigeria. Last November, she was told about another $10.5 million from Bank of America that was duly hers, if she could convince the FBI of her true identity by submitting all sorts of personal information.

And then, the email featured below, where Janet has discovered that the United Nations office in Malaysia, through its "poverty alleviation" program, has $1.5 million for her. There are all sorts of jokes to be had at the UN's expense if they're awarding "poverty alleviation" money to a woman who has already been awarded by my math, $21 million, but I digress.

Janet, my conclusion is that you are incredibly lucky... to have the patience and humor to realize these are spam/scam and to send them my way.

We thank you and wish you the best of luck with your fake millions in the future. Steak and lobster's on Janet, everyone.

Just hit delete.

Adam

-----Original Message-----
From: Compres, Griselda M. <gmc2133@cumc.columbia.edu>
To: Compres, Griselda M. <gmc2133@cumc.columbia.edu>
Sent: Thu, Sep 11, 2014 3:50 am
Subject: Transaction #

W.U.M.T

MALAYSIAN PAY-OUT CENTER

Transaction #: WUMT-MY9631***/2014 ( Your Security Code )

Dear Western Union Beneficiary,

Your funds transaction of 1,500,000.00 USD has been approved by UNITED NATIONS (UN) in their on going poverty alleviation program 2014 and we have been instructed to start sending you 7,600.00 USD daily using our Western Union system. To begin receiving your daily payment as stated above, we need you to provide Us with; Your Full Name, Address, and Phone Number. Upon receipt of the Requested details, your first transaction will be activated by you, before we can proceed to provide you with the Money Transfer Control others after 24 hours of Receiving each payment.For more information on your payment status; E-mail Mrs. Franca Lee: leemyw@qq.com OR call our 24 hours Helpline @ +601-648-453-21 or 00601-648-453-21 for any inquiries on the above message.

All E-mail response should be sent to leemyw@qq.com for confirmation and payment approval.

Yours truly,

Griselda M Compres

For: UN/Western Union, Malaysia.

The Spam Report: Day #214: "Hallo Meine Lieben"

Published On: Sep 10 2014 10:45:29 AM CDT
Germany-2
MY DESK: MADISON -

Today's blog might be the most obvious in more than seven months of doing this. If you get an email in your non-native language, it's more than likely spam/scam.

This intrepid reporter sent this email to a friend of mine in Denver who does speak German and he says I'm absolutely being scammed "unless you are really good friend with a person named Sonia Gilbert in Germany."

I don't know a Sonia Gilbert in this country, let alone in Germany, so my obvious conclusion is this is spam/scam.

My buddy also pointed out the worldwide impact of spam/scam email as the email I'm posting below, while written in German, was sent from a Yahoo.com email address registered in Japan (yahoo.co.jp).

So, here's to the upcoming Oktoberfest season, Sonia Gilbert... or whoever you are. Feel free to celebrate the season with me, but don't expect a response.

I'm just going to hit delete.

Adam

From: Sonia gilbert [mailto:helena_kone_04@yahoo.co.jp]
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2014 7:03 PM
Subject: Hallo Meine Lieben,

Hallo Meine Lieben,

es ist mir eine Freude, mit Ihnen Kontakt aufzunehmen um eine dringende Hilfe für die Rettung meines Lebens, von der gefährlichen politischen Bedeutung gewinnenden in meinem Land und zur Ausführung eines unmittelbaren Transfer von ( $4,5 Mio. USD) links für mich in einer Bank von meinem verstorbenen Vater vor seinem plötzlichen Tod. In details, ich bin das einzige Kind meiner verstorbenen Eltern, später Herr und Frau Edward Gilbert aus der Republik Côte d'Ivoire. Mein Vater war ein cocoa merchant Händler in Cote d'Ivoire aber leider starb aus politischen Krise vergangenen Jahren, tatsächlich er links hinter der Summe ( $4.500.000,00 US-Dollar) in eine Bank mit meinem Namen als sein einziges Kind vor seinem Tod.

Jetzt kann ich sagen, dass ich hier in einem spartanischen Guest-House Hotel, Seite der Stadt aus Sicherheitsgründen und für die Sicherheit meines Lebens da nach dem Tod von meinem Vater damit mein Leben in Gefahr ist auch von der politischen Opposition Group, ist warum ich suche eine Hilfe für die Verlegung und zur Sicherung dieser Gelder für Investitionen in ihrem Land, um
meine Zukunft verwenden. Wenn Sie Hilfe leisten kann zu mir, wird mir eine Freude sein, Ihnen 15% des gesamten Fonds (oben angezeigt).

Vielen Dank für Ihre Aufmerksamkeit, bitte melde dich bei mir in vollem Vertrauen zur weiteren Klärung/Details des Verfahrens. Ihre dringende Antwort wird sehr geschätzt, und weitere Details werden an Sie, sobald sie Antwort zu zeigen ihr Interesse für mir zu helfen.
Ich hoffe bald von Ihnen zu hören.

Mit freundlichen Grüßen, Sonia
gilbert

The Spam Report: Day #213: "Upgrade Your Account"

Published On: Sep 09 2014 10:11:14 AM CDT
cell phone
MY DESK: MADISON -

The premise of this entire blog is based upon email. Without it, The Spam Report doesn't exist and more importantly, a significant form of communication for many of us is taken away.

Recently, I've seen a number of scam/spam emails like the one I've posted below sent in by Bob in Fitchburg. His is allegedly from Charter, but I've seen them from Yahoo and Hotmail as well.

The premise is that you have to either click on a link to "renew" your service or provide an email or password to keep your emails from being "temporarily blocked."

In each of these cases, it's important to note that your internet provider will never ask for personal information over a medium as vulnerable as email.

Specific to Charter, since it's mentioned in the email to Bob, "Charter Communications believes in protecting the privacy of our customers. As a general policy, Charter would never request sensitive account information such as account numbers, user names or passwords via unsecured channels such as email"

Thanks for sending this in, Bob. If you want to warn your neighbors about an email, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com.

And then, just hit delete.

Take care.

Adam

From: "Charter.Net" <mermck1@embarqmail.com>
Date: September 8, 2014 at 12:05:42 PM CDT
Subject:Upgrade Your Account
Reply-To:mailistructor@mail.com

Dear Charter User,

Due to the congestion in all Charter users accounts you needs to update your account with our released F-Secure Internet Security 2014.New version of a better resource spam and viruses.

If you have not upgraded your account, click reply and fill in the columns below to send it back so we can update our database account immediately.

Failure to update will process your Charter account being temporarily blocked or suspended from our network and may not be able to receive or send e-mail due to the update.

Email Address:

Password:

Service Address ZIP Code :


Charter Customer Care

Contact Date: 9-08-2014

C 2014 Charter Communications

The Spam Report: Day #212: "URGENT INVESTIGATION"

Published On: Sep 08 2014 12:03:49 PM CDT
Laptop keyboard type online internet computer

Love this one. Love it.

I will allow you to enjoy the details below without ruining it for you, but it's hysterical. Basically, it's the "everyone else has been trying to scam you, but you can trust me" email.

The "hoodlums" who have been ripping me off includes "Banks, Delivery Company ,EFCC Nigeria, IMF, FBI, Western Union, Money gram, Diplomat Agents and others imposed offices around the globe especially in West Africa region such as Nigeria, Ghana and Benin Republic and you have being their victim paying money after money for endless acquiring of fake documents ,certificates."

As my five-year-old son, Clark, would say, "Please don't fall for this."

Just hit delete.

If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com and maybe, just maybe, we can all work in the future for the "Internet Scam Investigation" unit at the "Economic and Financial Crimes Commission."

Hope you had a nice weekend.

Adam

-----Original Message-----
From: Detective Emmanuel Akomaye [mailto:hlink@firstva.com]
Sent: Sunday, September 07, 2014 5:40 PM
Subject: URGENT INVESTIGATION

From the desk of

Detective Emmanuel Akomaye

Head Internet Scam Investigation

Economic and Financial Crimes Commission

Attention Beneficiary,

The first time we contacted you was on November 30th 2013 on the discovery of the below information contain in this email regarding the treat and ugly experience you might have been and still going through from scammers knowing that they send out thousands of scam email daily looking for who to rip off, however you simply ignored our notice and we are writing yet again to advice you it has been re confirmed to this Agency that some group of impostors are currently to if not already ripping you off claiming they are Banks, Delivery Company ,EFCC Nigeria, IMF, FBI, Western Union, Money gram, Diplomat Agents and others imposed offices around the globe especially in West Africa region such as Nigeria, Ghana and Benin Republic and you have being their victim paying money after money for endless acquiring of fake documents ,certificates, there is always another fees to be paid whenever you are dealing with these hoodlums another surely and it is very sad to know you

This information is reaching you from the office of the Internet Scam Investigation Group, the people you are dealing with are all internet criminals operating from different part of Africa, they only want your money and they are the same people but write you differently and that is why you received a lot of email daily and thereby confusing from know the truth since you find it very easy sending your personal information to any email claiming they have fund for you without a proper inquiry, they are not what they claim they are and I don't know if you have sent them any money at all, if yes I tell you they will keep demanding until you realize that they are impostors, it is time for you to open your eyes before you remain a victim of internet scam forever, this will serve as eye opener to you to stop further dealings at all ad follow the guideline we shall give you to find out if you truly have any REAL fund belonging to you in Africa or an! y where in the World

I ask, have you been able to find out why you receive all kinds of emails daily claiming it have funds for you? Have you asked yourself if there is any fund awarded in your name at all? Or do you believe anybody that contacts you and says they have fund for you? I really pity your situation after going through the details forwarded to our office today.

Recently, report from the headquarters of the West Africa Internet Scam Monitoring Unit revealed that 70% of internet Scam in Africa is carried out by touts and jobless men in Africa and Nigeria Benin Republic to be precise (unemployment rate in Africa) and for this reason we are on assignment to stop further scam to you and also it was revealed that these criminals has partners working for them in Benin Republic, London, USA and other European and Asian Countries so at times you are contacted from even your own Country but it is all but scam.

Anybody caught to be involved in scam will serve 12years Jail terms as abiding to Economical and Financial Crime Commission (EFCC) constitution in section 42 subsections 102 of 2007Constitution.West Africa Community will not be liable for your lost fund if you continue with those impostors who have been scamming you over the years and up till now you have not received a dime, contact the Commission to make inquiry if you have fund at all here or Africa, report the names of those fake offices you are dealing with immediately.

If you want to put an end to this scam you have experienced or still experiencing and if you ever want to receive your fund from Africa if there is any, first is to INQUIRE the only truth of your fund will be found in the office of the African Ministry of State for foreign Transaction commission where you will inquire if there is any real fund in your name presenting your names for verification, below contact address belongs to the staffs Federal Ministry of Foreign Affairs where this inquiry should be made by you.

Foreign Affairs Commission

Hon Patrick Ademola

E-mail: patrickademola42@gmail.com

Note you are advised to furnish Hon Patrick Ademola the details listed below for the inquire.

Your full name.

The Spam Report: Day #211: Name Dropping

Published On: Sep 05 2014 07:59:30 AM CDT
dollar bills, money
MY DESK: MADISON -

I've noticed that many of these unknown bankers who want me to become the beneficiary of a late client's estate always write, "Compliment of the season."

What season are we in right now? Kind of a hybrid, no? Still technically summer, but the kids are back in school which we usually associate with fall. Anyhow, it's one of those uniquely European sayings designed to make me feel more comfortable about the spam/scam proposal included.

In this case, I'm to believe that the 104th richest man in the world, the world, died in a plane crash and entrusted this Burkina Faso banker with $10 million that she now wants to share with me.

Not going to happen.

Just hit delete.

And oh, compliment of the season to you as well... the spam/scam-busting season that sadly never seems to end.

Adam

From: Diani Kabori [mailto:d.kabori@aol.fr]
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2014 7:55 PM
Subject: YOUR CO-OPERATION NEEDED PLEASE! 

YOUR CO-OPERATION NEEDED PLEASE!
From: Mrs Diani Kabori.
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.

Dear Friend,

Compliment of the season to you; this message might meet you in utmost surprise. However, it's just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction I am a banker by profession from Burkina Faso in West Africa and currently holding the post of manager auditing and accounting unit of the bank. I have a business proposal of Ten Million United States Dollars which I want you to handle with me from my bank as the  beneficiary to the fund.

This fund is the balance deposit by one of our late customer from France Mr. Paul Louis Halley, he was an importer/exporter and a shareholders in telecommunication here in Burkina Faso. Firstly, you will have to open communication with our bank by applying for the claim as the (beneficiary) to the fund, I shall be directing you on process to get this fund transfer into your account after applying. All expenses incurred by you and me in this transaction will be deducted out from 5% of the total fund before the sharing of the money in ratio of 50/50.

From banking experience it will take up to fourteen (14) working days to conclude this transfer, also this fund can be transfer to you in any form of your choice. This matter should be a confidential between you and me and please delete it if you are not interested; If you are interested, please send me your full contact information as below and thereafter I will send to you TEXT OF APPLICATION FORM to apply for the fund. I will appreciate your kind gestures towards this fortune, may the Almighty God who provide for everyone bless you.

Incident site:http://newswww.bbc.net.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/oxfordshire/4537663.stm

1. Full name:.........
2. Current Address:.........
3. Telephone N°:...........
4. Occupation:.............
5. Age:............
6. Country:........

Yours Truly
Mrs Diani Kabori
Email Address.dianikabori2@gmail.com

The Spam Report: Day #210: "Can I give you this trust?"

Published On: Sep 04 2014 10:03:31 AM CDT
Bank Fees - Money 1
MY DESK: MADISON -

The question is simple enough: Can I give you this trust???.

The three question marks followed by the period surely means this is important. So important, this is not even a "Dear John" spam/scam email, it's simply a "Dear," email.

If the sender doesn't know my name or chooses not to use it, you can safely assume they don't know you. If they don't know you, you don't know them. And we don't communicate with people we don't know on line. It's not safe.

So, I guess the answer to the question posed above, the one with the three question marks and one period, "Can I give you this trust???. is simple."

No, you cannot.

Just hit delete.

Adam

-----Original Message-----
From: adams.zaky@gmail.com [mailto:adams.zaky@gmail.com] On Behalf Of Mrs Fareeda Farad
Sent: Tuesday, September 02, 2014 6:32 AM
Subject: CAN I GIVE YOU THIS TRUST???.

Dear,

    It's my pleasure to have contact with you, based on the critical condition I find mine self, though, it's not financial problem, but my health, you might have know that cancer is not what to talk home about, though I don't know you, and my contact with you was not by mistake, but by divine favour of ALLAH.

I am married to Mr. Abdul karim Farad who worked with Tunisia embassy in Burkina Faso for nine years before he died in the year 2008. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for five days.

Since his death I decided not to remarry, When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$ 8.2m(Eight million two hundred thousand dollars)in a bank in Ouagadougou the capital city of Burkina Faso in west Africa Presently this money is still in bank. He made this money available for exportation of Gold from Burkina Faso mining.

Recently, My Doctor told me that I don't have much time to live because of the cancer problem,

Having known my condition I decided to hand you over this money to take care of the less-privileged people, you will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want you to take 30 Percent of the total money for your personal use While 70% of the money will go to charity" people and helping the orphanage.

I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by the Government. I grew up as an Orphan and I don't have anybody as my family member, just to endeavour that the name of ALLAH is maintained. Am doing this so that ALLAH will forgive my sins and accept my soul because this sickness has suffered me so much.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank in Burkina Faso and I will send authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of the money in the bank that is if you assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply.

Regards,

Mrs. Fareeda Farad

Written from Hospital.

The Spam Report: Day #209: "Your Personal Information"

Published On: Sep 03 2014 10:22:21 AM CDT
OTD June 9 - Charles Dickens
MY DESK: MADISON -

So, I've been working on this blog now for more than 200 days and I'd like to think its reach has exceeded my mother, my wife and my kids if they get on the iPad when they're not supposed to.

We all like to feel somewhat important. That's why the below spam email is so onerous as it plays to our vanities. It tells me that I've been selected to a "Who's Who" guide but in reality, this is a money-making venture from those sending it.

There is story after story on line about these. In fact, it has its own Wikipedia page detailing how if you play along here and give them your information (which you know I recommend you never do to anyone you don't know and to any entity unless you've initiated the contact), you'll eventually be charged for a copy of the vanity publication or for posting your information somewhere. 

Eventually, you're paying. If you want to market yourself, there are a world of free opportunities these days on social media. Better to go in that direction than to pursue this.

As a complete aside that makes me think this is more scam than just spam, at the bottom of the email was some random text from Dickens' "Great Expectations." My high school English teacher would be proud that I remembered the character, Pip. No idea why those lines would be there, but it made me chuckle nonetheless.

Just hit delete and remember, if you want to be recognized as a spam/scam fighter, send me any email you want to warn your neighbors about (mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com) and I'll make you famous... at least with my mom, wife and kids.

Take care,

Adam

From: Exclusive Invite [mailto:exclusive.invite@globalbussdirectory.pw]
Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2014 1:30 AM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: Your Personal Invitation

Hello,

As you are more than likely aware, you were recently selected
for inclusion in the new 2014 edition of the Who' s Who Among
Executives and Professionals.

Despite our efforts, we have not yet received confirmation of
your biographical profile, and are reaching out to you again
in an effort to do so.

Click here to verify and confirm your profile

The tradition of the Who' s Who reaches back more than
100 years to a time when the prestigious and accomplished
were featured in a yearly publication that defined high society.

Today, the Who' s Who provides a useful resource where business
professionals, academics, and Executives are both recognized for
their achievements and provided with an unparalleled networking
resource. Using our database, you can make global contacts,
discuss current events and happenings with your peers, and
establish yourself as either a mentor to aspiring professionals or
further your business network.

Our goal is to seek out the premier executives and professionals
throughout the world. There is absolutely no cost or obligation
for your biographical profile. Simply click this link and fill out
the appropriate biographical fields.

Sincerely,

Nomination Committee, Research Division
Who' s Who Among Executives and Professionals

To change your communication options please click this link
or write to:

3635 S. Fort Apache Rd, Suite 200 - 637
Las Vegas, NV 89147


greedy laugh. `Have another conwict off. `What does that the forge, and disappeared and adjourned, for some shadowy idea (and him through having my father, Pip, sir. `Once more, said Joe, with his standing Prancing here -- pie! The Church had this good in the days were holden -- to tumble on my hands always treated him roam and not nearly going to life, when some large-handed person in herself, and trimming and disappear. Then, she turned me wittles. He crammed what a piece of mincemeat (which accounted for him? Worth my hands in sudden bites, just enough to Godliness,

The Spam Report: Day #208: "Hi"

Published On: Sep 02 2014 01:36:30 PM CDT
MY DESK: MADISON -

So, with the stock market continuing to rage these days, there are a lot of people interested in investing some of the money they've made.

That's apparently what "Larry" wants to do in the spam/scam email that Jim in Madison sent in for The Spam Report. I could spend a while debunking each of these things, but it does not seem that "Larry" is a very discerning investor and he might want to worry about spammers/scammers coming after him in the future.

"I am nearing retirement and I could use one more big windfall from an investment to truly feel confident I can make ends meet when I stop working," Jim wrote in. "This "Larry" seems to want to invest in an idea of mine. Should I tell him I have oceanfront property in Iowa to sell him? Somehow, I'm convinced this would lead to him asking me for money. Thought you could warn folks that while it may not seem like a scam, copy and paste the words from this note into your browser and you'll see it pops up on a ton of scam sites."

Great job, Jim. Thanks for sharing.

If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com and then, just hit delete.

Take care. Hope you all had a great weekend.

Adam

-----Original Message-----
From: Larry Wolfe [mailto:larrywolfe75@qq.com]
Sent: Sunday, August 31, 2014 11:57 AM
Subject: Re: Hi

Hi

I am looking to invest in Real Estate/Construction and oil industry, Banking, Stock speculation, Film Industries, Mining, Transportation and Tobacco do you have any idea?

Let me have your investment proposals.

Larry.

Email: larrywolfe75@qq.com

Ph: +44793 743 3317...

 

The Spam Report: Day #207: "the provision act of decree 114"

Published On: Aug 29 2014 03:23:42 PM CDT
Nigeria Borno state Boko Haram
MY DESK: MADISON -

It's been a really busy last couple of days here, so I apologize for the brevity of yesterday's Spam Report and the lateness of today's post.

A couple of open records requests came in leading to a couple different investigative stories and then, I worked on a piece involving how the University of Wisconsin once boycotted football games with LSU over civil rights. That's a cool story, but I digress.

Anyhow, I finally had a few moments and realized I had yet to visit the blog today. It's always a challenge to pick which emails to feature and I stumbled onto the one today, not because its premise is all that unique, but that it actually compelled me to search on line for the Nigerian Constitution.

Specifically, I searched for "the provision act of decree 114 of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, on Contract Matters." If you can understand what that means, you're smarter than me. However, I'm often perplexed by the language used by government types when plain English would do, so I actually called up my favorite search engine and copied that phrase.

Sadly, numerous other websites popped up, seeking to warn consumers about the bogus email all of us had received. However, I remained driven to see if the senders were simply BS'ing us or if, in fact, they'd painstakingly copied a particular provision of the Nigerian Constitution of 1999.

If it were the latter, I'd still call this a scam/spam, but at least I'd give them credit for their attention to detail. It's really a quality lost on today's youth.

Unfortunately, this link to the Nigerian Government's constitution doesn't provide the answer. 

Alas, I will go into this Labor Day Weekend unclear as to whether Mr. Paul Williams is your two-bit, lazy spammer/scammer or one whose creativity should be lauded.

Either way, as always, just hit delete.

See you back here on Tuesday.

Adam

-----Original Message-----
From: MR. PAUL WILLIAMS [mailto:constead@suddenlink.net]
Sent: Saturday, August 02, 2014 3:40 PM
Subject: RE: NOTIFICATION ON THE IRREVOCABLE AGREEMENT ORDER ON YOUR PAYMENT/FINAL NOTICE.

Attn: Beneficiary

Please bear with us for making this initial contact through email, it is due to the urgency of this notification, since we are unable to reach your phoneline. This is to officially bring to your notice that we have finally signed an irrevocable agreement order with the United Nations, at the 37th G8 summit which was held 2627 May 2011 in the commune of Deauville, in France. You can check this link to confirm the summit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/37th_G8_summit.

The agreement instruction was for us to settle all enormous outstanding debt burden on our country, in order to enhance our business relationship with the International Community. To that effect, The Federal Ministry of Finance have finally forwarded to my humble office, the names of foreigner's/contractors that have not yet received their payment for some reasons and your name happen to be on the list hence, your payment worth USD$2,000.000.00 (Two Million Dollars Only) is next on the payment schedule list, for this quarter of the year 2013

In accordance with the provision act of decree 114 of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, on Contract Matters, your contract payment documents have been verified, approved and arrangement is being been made to effect your payment to you within the shortest period of time in our bid to transparency.

Also, it might interest you to know that a Gentleman with name JAMES WHITE from Ohio, USA., already contacted us on your behalf. He forwarded to us his full banking information and presented some documentations evidencing your payment, claiming they were signed personally by you for the release of your payment to him. He further told us that you are seriously sick and presently on a Hospital bed of which he is not even sure, you will survive. Please find below his Banking information for your-re-confirmation:

BANK NAME: Charles Schwab Bank

ADDRESS: 1397 Vidaway Columbus, Ohio 43228 A/C NAME: JAMES WHITE

ACCOUNT#: 121202211

ROUTING#: 440014258642

TEL: Withheld for security reasons

EMAIL: Withheld for security reasons

Lastly, we also want to use this medium to pose a warning/advise to you, should in case you are already dealing with anybody or office posing to be the Central Bank of Nigeria or any fake financial office, we advise that you STOP further contact with them in your best interest and contact only the Skye Bank Plc., with our information accordingly. The reason why you have not received your payment up till now, is because you have been dealing with the wrong people and office, so be advised and note that only Skye Bank Plc have in possession, the instrument for perfecting that.

Having said all this, we urge you to get back to this office immediately in order to let us know if truly JAMES WHITE is your representative as explained above, before we proceed with the next step on releasing your payment to him accordingly. Thank you for your anticipated Co-operation in advance as we await your prompt response to this matter.

The Spam Report: Day #206: "My dying wish"

Published On: Aug 28 2014 10:00:09 AM CDT
Funeral, casket, death, mourning
MY DESK: MADISON -

I'm a bit swamped today, so I apologize for the brevity of this Spam Report.

I'll simply allow Kay L., who forwarded it to me, to sum this up: "Aren't I lucky to be looking forward to all this money? (HA)!"

HA indeed. No dying woman will introduce herself to you with the promise of millions. Isn't going to happen.

Just hit delete.

Thanks for sending this in, Kay.

Adam

From: deb.j2@outlook.com
Subject: My dying wish
Date: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 00:23:41 +0100

How are you today?,

My name is Mrs Deborah Johnson. I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to you. I am 59 years old and diagnosed of cancer about 2 years ago. I lost my husband and I was left alone, I have no family and I will be going for an operation shortly and I pray that I survive, but the chances are slim.

I have decided to Will/donate the sum of $1,500,000.00 (One Million, Five Hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of the lord. I got your contact from a random online search, as led by my spirit. I believe God has his plan as I cannot use this money for myself when I am gone; one with a good moral stand and charitable heart should use it. I believe my spirit has led me right, I wanted someone anonymous to gain this money. I have been a very lonely woman, do help me put joy in other peoples lives.

Presently, I have informed my lawyer about my decision to will this money to you. Kindly Contact my lawyer whose contact I place below, to carry out this task of charity. Please, it is my dying wish.

Brian Betts esq.
Email: barr_brianbetts1@qq.com
Tel : +447031981654

Thank you and God bless you.

Mrs Deborah Johnson

The Spam Report: Day #205: "SINCERE REQUEST"

Published On: Aug 27 2014 11:46:52 AM CDT
Brownie dessert
MY DESK: MADISON -

My youngest child, a precocious 3 1/2-year-old girl who's been trying to catch her big brother and sister from the get-go, came downstairs this morning with a big smile on her face.

"What can I get you for breakfast?" I asked.

She pointed to a ziplock bag on the counter that had what looked to the naked eye like brown-colored mini-muffins. Now, we both knew that those had been brought over by a friend and that they were, in fact, mini-brownies and not mini-muffins.

Now, I may have a sweet tooth myself and we do have a family rule that there's never a bad time for a donut, but even if I doubled her fruit servings this morning, there's no way I could rationalize giving her a brownie for breakfast.

"Please????" she said with a smile that's captivating. Then, she hugged me and told me how I was the best daddy in the world.

I may have numerous parent fails I could describe from the last week alone, but I held resolute today. It reminded me of an email sent to me yesterday by Ann in Shorewood Hills.

I call this the "pretty, pretty please with sugar on top" spam/scam.

Even if you are predisposed to immediately sensing these types of emails are bogus, Ann wrote that the "Sincere Request" is what made her laugh. As if, getting unexpected millions from a long-lost, never-known, dead individual who shared her last name is not sincere, saying they're sincere must make all the difference.

Or, you can simply suggest, as I did this morning, we'll get donuts in the next couple days, I promise, when I rejected the brownies for breakfast.

Just hit delete.

Thanks for sending this in, Ann.

Adam

From: Denis Fiogan <denisfiogan@aol.co.uk>
Date: August 25, 2014 at 9:24:01 AM CDT
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject:SINCERE REQUEST
Reply-To:denisfiogan@aol.co.uk

I am Denis Fiogan (LLB] of Denis Fiogan & Associates.

I am surprised not getting a response from the earlier mail I sent to you.

It is my wish to present you as my deceased client's relative who has the same family name as you. Whom I aided in making an investment deposit with a bank worth $9.5million Nine Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars.

I informed the bank of his passing on and was instructed to present any available member of his family or close relative to be paid the funds hence my contacting you.

Please acknowledge if your email is still valid to enable me explain more. You can contact me on my private email address. denisfiogan@aol.co.uk

Yours faithfully
Denis Fiogan (Attorney At Law)

The Spam Report: Day #204: "DONATION"

Published On: Aug 26 2014 11:12:33 AM CDT   Updated On: Aug 27 2014 08:38:03 AM CDT
dollar bills, money
MY DESK: MADISON -

So, we've debunked on this site multiple times the idea that you're not going to hear from a long-lost, never-known, person who has millions for you.

The kicker to the email we're sharing today from Karen in Middleton is that while it shares the profile described above, it offers to give her that money with a catch: she's supposed to donate it.

Why I picked this email to share with you is because the list of things/causes/people she's supposed to give to made me chuckle as it encompasses many of the worthy causes in the world today.

Want to give to religious institutions? Well, Karen can upkeep churches, mosques and synagogues with the money from Mrs. Honoour Rosser. Further, she can help "widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially," but only if she's to be trusted.

I think she may have failed that test by sending this to me, but I'm inclined to give her a pass and think she's a pretty good egg by wanting to keep any of her neighbors from falling for drivel spam/scam like this. Thanks Karen for sending this in.

Just hit delete.

Adam

From: srahonrosser@outlook.com [mailto:srahonrosser@outlook.com]
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2014 5:34 AM
To: Karen
Subject: DONATION

I will provide you with donation of (6million Euros) for the upkeep of CHURCHES/MOSQUES/SYNAGOGUES widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.
if you are trusted and know you can handle this project whit the fear of GOD/ALLAH/JESUS get back to me with full details.
1: YOUR NAMES
2: AGE
3: OCCUPATION
4: TELEPHONE NUMBER
Mrs. Honoour Rosser

The Spam Report: Day #203: "Brace yourself for the worst"

Published On: Aug 25 2014 09:27:27 AM CDT
moon
MY DESK: MADISON -

Lest you think my musical affinity lies solely with the C&C Music Factory and the soundtrack of "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" that I've mentioned in earlier Spam Repors, I also listened to my fair share of classic rock growing up.

Whenever my older sisters would get in trouble, not as often by the way as they should have, but when they would, I knew I could irritate them further (that's what little brothers do, right?) by humming the tunes from Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Bad Moon Rising."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUQiUFZ5RDw

The melody was enough to annoy them, but the words came to mind when I read the below email sent to me over the weekend by Bob in Oregon. 

"I see a bad moon arisin'... I see trouble on the way.

"I see earthquakes and lightnin'... I see bad times today.

"Don't go around tonight. Well it's bound to take your life. There's a bad moon on the rise."

Bob's spam/scam submission is threatening in nature, telling him "You didn't take this seriously and now you must face the consequences." It states that bad things about him have been posted online and he can stop it if he clicks on one of three different link points. We've disabled those links, but it's clearly a phishing expedition or even worse, one that will lead to malware being downloaded on his computer.

Thanks for sharing, Bob, and for warning your neighbors not to fall for this.

However, it's ok if you want to gently prod your siblings by humming the notes associated with the great CCR song when they deserve it. 

If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com

And then, just hit delete.

From: "Verify Reports Alert" <qkc8xudxrbiybwfhqy@f.besttoworse.com>

Date: August 20, 2014 at 4:50:48 PM CDT

To: "Subscriber" <Bob's email>
Subject:You didn't take this seriously and now you must face the consequences

Dear (Bob's email)

Bad Things From Your Past Have Been Posted Online. Brace yourself for the worst

At 12:30pm (eastern time) damaging information was posted publicly that could hurt you.

Don't let people see this by confirming your person record ID# here

Review this now: Time is running out!

If you wish to no longer receive promotions please click here
538 W 21st St #97518,
Houston, TX 77008-3642

click here to unsubscribe.

The Spam Report: Day #202: "I want you to be my partner please"?

Published On: Aug 22 2014 11:01:57 AM CDT
Internet

Here at the Spam Report, we pay attention to the details of your junk email so you don't need to. The hope is that we're spending far more time on these than you ever should, but hopefully, you can glean something from these to enable you to dismiss them out of hand.

At the start of the internet, you know back when Al Gore was inventing it and John McCain was inventing cell phones (bipartisan jokes), each country received a two-letter domain name exclusive to their nation (i.e. ".us" for the United States, ".ca" for Canada).

The ".com" and ".org" are open to the public and have become associated with companies and non-profits here in this country. The reason I bring this up is not because I want to be xenophobic, but because you ought to know who you're dealing business with.

Here's a list of the internet country codes: http://goes.gsfc.nasa.gov/text/web_country_codes.html

So, in the example we have below, if we can get past the poor grammar and typos, we can focus on the fact that someone from Malaysia wants us to invest in a "100% risk free" natural gas project in Bangladesh and the email address they want us to respond to (.ae) is from the United Arab Emirates.

We know what to do with these types of notes.

We hit delete... but maybe we email them to me here to warn others beforehand.

Have a great weekend.

Adam

From: SUHAILI BIN HASSAN [mailto:mrsuhailibinhassand@bussines.org]
Sent: Thursday, August 21, 2014 11:12 AM
Subject: Re: I want you to be my partner please "?

Pardon me if I invaded your privacy,

My Name is SUHAILI BIN HASSAN  Director D'Sophia Corporation Sdn. Bhd., Malaysia

However I understand the insecure nature of soliciting for business on the internet, unfortunately I have no other option than to search for credible foreign collaboration to partner with me in the actualization of a viable and profitable ADB Financed natural Gas project in Bangladesh.

All arrangements will be made under a legitimate framework.

The transaction is 100% risk free .

Full details will be disclosed to you on your expression of interest

I look forward to doing good business with you.

contact me here:mrsuhailibinhassan@e-mail.ua

Warmest Regards

SUHAILI BIN HASSAN

The Spam Report: Day #201: "A state of delinma"

Published On: Aug 21 2014 10:17:13 AM CDT
OTD April 22 - Earth Day
MY DESK: MADISON -

If you've ever played Trivial Pursuit, in all likelihood, you have a "color" you're best at. If you haven't played, the colors represent categories (i.e. History questions are yellow, Science are green, and Geography are blue).

I used to study the globe quite a bit as a kid, partly because my uncle was in the foreign service working for the State Department in a bunch of distant countries and because my older sisters didn't want anything to do with me. Bottom line, I did pretty well at the blue category.

However, everyone now and again, I still find myself vexed when presented with geographical locations. Like, for example, in the email below, where "Anna and Raman Sule" have $18.4 in blood diamond revenues from their late father that they want me to help transfer. They want to know what percentage I want to make the transaction worth my while. And they write that their father's death and the whole conundrum of finding a place for their money is leaving them in a "state of delinma."

When I sketched this blog post out in my head, I promise it sounded funnier than I feel I've written it.

Oh well, after 201 days, sometimes you're entitled to a dud.

Just hit delete.

Adam

From: Anna & Raman Sule [mailto:annasule@outlook.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2014 2:19 PM
Subject: Hi Dear,

Hi Dear,

May the peace of gracious God be with you.please We have a problem and needs your help.We have decided that it is a good thing to write you for help.We have a proposal for you-this however is not mandatory nor will We in any manner compel you to honour against your will.We are in a state of delinma and your profile pushed us to send you this mail,Iam Anna & Raman Sule the Daughter and Son of Dr.Sule Kamara who was the former Director of Finance,Dr Sule KAMARA Sierra-Leone diamond and mining corporation. With regards to our through study of your business profile,We therefore decide to engage you in this proposal.
 
It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously on friday 5th febury 2003 during a some illness suspected to have been masterminded by his uncle of his, who travelled with him at that time. But God knows the truth ,Before the death of Ourlate father on February 5th 2004 he called us together and inform us about sum of Eighteen million,four hundred thousand United State Dollars.(USD$18.4M,000)left in one of the leading BANK.
 
He further told us that he deposited the money in my name, and finally issued a written instruction to his lawyer whom he said is in possession of all the necessary legal documents to this fund in the BANK.We really don't know what to do.But because of incessant political crisis here in Sierra-Leone .The death of our late father actually brought sorrow to our life. After everything we decided  to live the country because of the present government gets to know about this money we are finished.me and my brother are now in Ivory cost as refugee. We are in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards.Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.

Now permit us to ask these few questions.
What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is transfer in your bank account?
Please, Consider this and get back to us with your full details
Full Name
Home Address
Cell phone number
Private email
Company Name
Our greetings to your family.
Our sincere regards,
Waiting to hear from you urgent,
Anna and Raman Sule

The Spam Report: Day #200: "Send details"

Published On: Aug 20 2014 09:31:13 AM CDT
tennis ball court
MY DESK: MADISON -

I'm not much of an athlete. In the world of tell me something I don't know, you're wondering why I bring up this obvious fact.

It's because back in the day, I actually played tennis pretty well. Came to the sport unfortunately kind of late in my youth, right before high school, so I never had any time to develop any consistency, but I had flashes of being competitive with others in my age group. Won a few plastic trophies that the kids enjoy bending and breaking when they're hanging out at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Anyhow, my parents indulged me one summer and sent me to a tennis camp at Carthage College down in Kenosha. The motto for the counselors was, "No pain, no gain." We were going to have to sacrifice in order to get better. Gain was equated most certainly with pain. So, when I broke my foot and kept playing through the pain that shot up into my hip every time I lifted my leg, I thought I was seriously gaining to become the next John McEnroe.

Clearly, that didn't happen. However, the lesson of working hard to accomplish your goals is one that's stuck with me since.

It's why I look with particular disdain at the types of spam/scam that Vic sent in to The Spam Report. You see, there's no effort here. It's simply lazy and thus, should be deleted as many times as your computer will allow. I admire the creativity of some of these spam/scam efforts and wonder whether they'd have a future in marketing or some other legitimate industry, but what you see below, other than indulging me an opportunity to share a painful childhood memory, does not deserve any more of our time.

Just hit delete.

Have a great day. Thanks again, Vic.

Adam

-------Original Message-------

From:howmar@fuse.net

Date: 08/12/14 15:36:13

To:info@aol.com

Subject: d

 

Send details to receive  your donation amount of 6000,000.00 price from Ira Curry NAME*...ADDRESS*...MOBILE*...OCCUPATION*...AGE*...COUNTRY

The Spam Report: Day #199: "Esteemed Compliments"

Published On: Aug 19 2014 12:27:22 PM CDT
Larry King 2
MY DESK: MADISON -

When I was in college at the University of Michigan, there was a guy who lived in my dorm my freshman year who thrived on trying to get on the Larry King Show on CNN. After being turned down numerous times when he'd say he was "John from Ann Arbor," he determined that Larry's producers, in order to boost the appearance of CNN as an international network, would only take calls from people overseas.

Now, this was in the days before Caller ID. I know I look like I'm 12, but I actually was in college back in the mid-80's.

So, "John from Ann Arbor" decided to become "Ron in Istanbul" or "Tom in Manchester" or my personal favorite, "Jim in Antwerp, Belgium." 

"Jim in Antwerp, Belgium, HELLO!!!" Larry shouted at him, welcoming him on the program, as he was comfortably nestled in his 3rd floor East Quad room, trying desperately to get his roommates to be quiet.

Anyhow, the reason for this story is because this morning, I was reminded how what we do here truly has no borders. Today's submission comes from Caroline, who watches News 3 from south of the border, in Lena, Illinois.

It's not Antwerp, Belgium but her submission to the Spam Report apparently comes from Ghana and deals with something called a "SUSPENSE ACCOUNT" that has $12.85 million that Caroline could get access to.

Allow me to remove any suspense, it's bogus and you don't need me shouting into a microphone to let you know that.

Thanks Caroline for sending this in. If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com and then remember, just hit delete.

Take care,

Adam

--------------------------------------

Mr. Daniel Boateng

<INFO@officemail.com>

9:15 AM (9 hours ago)

Esteemed Compliments,

I anticipate that you read this mail quickly and let me know your opinion or willingness on this classified information that I will release to you. Firstly, I am a happily married man with 3 kids and therefore I would not want to jeopardize this opportunity to change my financial status that will give my family a secured future.

I am Mr. Daniel Boateng., the Branch Manager of the Eco Bank Of Ghana Limited, First Light Branch Accra. I am 40 years of age. It may interest you to hear that I am a man of PEACE and don't want problem, but I don't know how you will feel about this, but I am telling you that this is real and you are not going to regret after doing this transaction with me . I only hope we can assist each other. But if you don't want this business offer kindly forget it.

I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit both of us, as the Branch Manager of the Eco Bank Of Ghana Limited; it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra-Ghana at the end of each year. On the course of the last two years 2011 end of the year report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the Manager made Twelve Million Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars [$12,850.000.00] which my head office are not aware of and will never be aware of, Nor must they know that I am involved in this transaction.

I have since place this fund on what we call SUSPENSE ACCOUNT without any beneficiary. As an officer of the Bank I cannot be directly connected to this money, so this is why i have to contacting you for us to work so that you can assist receive this money into your bank account for us to SHARE, Meanwhile you will have 50% of the total fund. Note there are practically no risk involved, it will be bank to bank transfer, all I need from you is to stand claim as the original depositor of this fund who made the deposit with our branch so that my Head office can order the transfer to your designated bank account.

If you accept this offer to work with me, I will appreciate it very much. As soon as I receive your kind response, I will give you details on how we can achieve it successfully.

Please contact me via this E-mail for more details: mrdanielboateng.ecobnkgh@gmail.com

Best Regards,

Mr.Daniel Boateng.

Branch Manager,

Eco Bank of Ghana.

The Spam Report: Day #198: "Watch words"

Published On: Aug 18 2014 10:35:59 AM CDT
not one-hit wonders - C+C Music Factory
MY DESK: MADISON -

One of the more unappreciated bands of my earlier days, back before I was listening to Barney and Pete Seeger (thanks, Dad) and Phineas and Ferb (thanks, Aunt Liz), was the C+C Music Factory. 

I'm sure you didn't associate dance and hip hop with yours truly and frankly, I remain today every bit as awkward as I was back in the day in terms of actually moving with the beat, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate or enjoy it.

Anyhow, one of the band's songs was "Things that make you go, Hmmm."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF2ayWcJfxo

Now, getting an email from the "CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA" does not make you go "Hmmm," it makes you want to go, "Delete." However, there was a line in that email that vexed me. 

"My watch words for this transaction is probity, transparency, accountability and servicing."

Not sure I want transparency and servicing in any discussion of probity, but hey, that could just be me.

Have a wonderful day and just hit delete.

Adam

-----Original Message-----
From: CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA [mailto:hcvad@image.dk]
Sent: Saturday, August 16, 2014 1:55 PM
Subject: IMMEDIATE SETTLEMENT OF YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA

International Credit Control Office

Mobolaji Bank Anthoney Way ,

Federal Capital Territory Abuja [FCT]

TEL: 234-708-4586-763

Our Ref: CBN/FGN/VO.01/011                       

From The Desk of : Dr. Ade Adeleke.  

DIRECTOR INT’L CREDIT CONTROL OFFICE CODE: HONESTY

Attention: Honourable Unpaid Contract/Inheritance Beneficiary,

Dear Sir/Madam,

RE: IMMEDIATE SETTLEMENT OF YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT WITH THE F. G. N. VIA OUR AFFILIATE BANK OF SETTLEMENT “ JP MORGAN CHASE BANK OF NEW YORK", UNITED STATES  OF AMERICA [USA}.

Based on the recently concluded vetting authenticating and short listing of several unpaid foreign contract/ Inheritance payment  2011  by the President Federal Republic of Nigeria  Dr Goodluck Jonathan  , and  Federal Payment Advisory Board , the Senate Committee on Foreign Debt Payment and servicing, I am compelled to contact you today to commence your payment through our International Bank of Settlement which is the  “ JP Morgan Chase Bank of New York" USA.

My watch words for this transaction is probity, transparency, accountability and servicing. International Banking Ethics which is the same in the world will be implored to guide us for the successful transfer of your fund through Key Tested Telegraphic means. Be assured that all accrued Government taxes, i.e. cost of transfer will be deducted  at source of transfer at “ JP Morgan Chase Bank of New York” and the balance after  deducted taxes will be transferred to your nominated bank account.

Please refrain from dealing with dubious and unscrupulous impostors who might claim to be working for various government agencies, the aim of these people are to ask you for certain payment of money as pre-requisite for your fund release, you will do well to ignore their proposals as the Central Bank of Nigeria and indeed the Government of Nigeria will not be liable for monies paid to these fraudsters.

I shall commence transfer modalities with which you and your bank can work together for the payment, upon the receipt of the following below information on your company letter headed paper.

The Spam Report: Day #197: "Reminder Notice (Your ATM CARD)"

Published On: Aug 15 2014 08:04:29 AM CDT
ATM
MY DESK: MADISON -

One of the joys of fatherhood is to watch how the seemingly small can represent something so significant in the eyes of kids.

For example, my two youngest each had the good fortune to find a coin on the street within the last week. One found a dime, the other found a penny. Didn't matter as it was as if they'd found gold in the Colorado hills.

They wanted to know if they could play video games with their coin. Could they buy gum? Could they buy their mom a coffee? The latter, I thought, was a very nice offer and we needed to facilitate that with dad's money, not the new change found, but I digress.

I encouraged them to save their newly-found bounty, to put it in their piggy bank where one coin plus one coin plus another coin can eventually add up to a nice little sum. It's easy to write off the joy associated with finding something you didn't have earlier. For me, it's like finding a $5 in a pair of pants I hadn't worn in a while.

However, in the email below, that joy would border on euphoria if, in fact, it were true. Which it most certainly is not.

There are no random ATM cards out there to be delivered by a Nigerian clergyman with hundreds of thousands of dollars waiting to be claimed. Sorry, life doesn't work that way. Hopefully, you can be content with the occasional quarter on the street instead. Channel your inner child for the good feelings.

Just hit delete.

Have a great weekend.

Adam

From: Rev. John Clegg [mailto:test@agroseko.ru]
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2014 9:29 PM
Subject: Re: Reminder Notice (Your ATM CARD)

This is to remind you once again that your ATM card worth $450,000.00 dollars meant for your compensation is still with me. Kindly send the delivery fee of $120 dollars today so that i can post your ATM card to your delivery address and it will get to you within 24hours. Send the delivery fee with the name of my junior pastor as described below;

Name: Loies Okeke

Address: Lagos Nigeria

I will be travelling and won't be back till October, so go immediately and the send the delivery and call me on my direct phone number is +234 806 548 7534

Remain blessed

Reverend. John Clegg

Church of England 

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