Spam Report

The Spam Report: Day #206: "My dying wish"

Published On: Aug 28 2014 10:00:09 AM CDT
Funeral, casket, death, mourning

I'm a bit swamped today, so I apologize for the brevity of this Spam Report.

I'll simply allow Kay L., who forwarded it to me, to sum this up: "Aren't I lucky to be looking forward to all this money? (HA)!"

HA indeed. No dying woman will introduce herself to you with the promise of millions. Isn't going to happen.

Just hit delete.

Thanks for sending this in, Kay.


Subject: My dying wish
Date: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 00:23:41 +0100

How are you today?,

My name is Mrs Deborah Johnson. I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to you. I am 59 years old and diagnosed of cancer about 2 years ago. I lost my husband and I was left alone, I have no family and I will be going for an operation shortly and I pray that I survive, but the chances are slim.

I have decided to Will/donate the sum of $1,500,000.00 (One Million, Five Hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of the lord. I got your contact from a random online search, as led by my spirit. I believe God has his plan as I cannot use this money for myself when I am gone; one with a good moral stand and charitable heart should use it. I believe my spirit has led me right, I wanted someone anonymous to gain this money. I have been a very lonely woman, do help me put joy in other peoples lives.

Presently, I have informed my lawyer about my decision to will this money to you. Kindly Contact my lawyer whose contact I place below, to carry out this task of charity. Please, it is my dying wish.

Brian Betts esq.
Tel : +447031981654

Thank you and God bless you.

Mrs Deborah Johnson

The Spam Report: Day #205: "SINCERE REQUEST"

Published On: Aug 27 2014 11:46:52 AM CDT
Brownie dessert

My youngest child, a precocious 3 1/2-year-old girl who's been trying to catch her big brother and sister from the get-go, came downstairs this morning with a big smile on her face.

"What can I get you for breakfast?" I asked.

She pointed to a ziplock bag on the counter that had what looked to the naked eye like brown-colored mini-muffins. Now, we both knew that those had been brought over by a friend and that they were, in fact, mini-brownies and not mini-muffins.

Now, I may have a sweet tooth myself and we do have a family rule that there's never a bad time for a donut, but even if I doubled her fruit servings this morning, there's no way I could rationalize giving her a brownie for breakfast.

"Please????" she said with a smile that's captivating. Then, she hugged me and told me how I was the best daddy in the world.

I may have numerous parent fails I could describe from the last week alone, but I held resolute today. It reminded me of an email sent to me yesterday by Ann in Shorewood Hills.

I call this the "pretty, pretty please with sugar on top" spam/scam.

Even if you are predisposed to immediately sensing these types of emails are bogus, Ann wrote that the "Sincere Request" is what made her laugh. As if, getting unexpected millions from a long-lost, never-known, dead individual who shared her last name is not sincere, saying they're sincere must make all the difference.

Or, you can simply suggest, as I did this morning, we'll get donuts in the next couple days, I promise, when I rejected the brownies for breakfast.

Just hit delete.

Thanks for sending this in, Ann.


From: Denis Fiogan <>
Date: August 25, 2014 at 9:24:01 AM CDT
To: undisclosed-recipients:;

I am Denis Fiogan (LLB] of Denis Fiogan & Associates.

I am surprised not getting a response from the earlier mail I sent to you.

It is my wish to present you as my deceased client's relative who has the same family name as you. Whom I aided in making an investment deposit with a bank worth $9.5million Nine Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars.

I informed the bank of his passing on and was instructed to present any available member of his family or close relative to be paid the funds hence my contacting you.

Please acknowledge if your email is still valid to enable me explain more. You can contact me on my private email address.

Yours faithfully
Denis Fiogan (Attorney At Law)

The Spam Report: Day #204: "DONATION"

Published On: Aug 26 2014 11:12:33 AM CDT   Updated On: Aug 27 2014 08:38:03 AM CDT
dollar bills, money

So, we've debunked on this site multiple times the idea that you're not going to hear from a long-lost, never-known, person who has millions for you.

The kicker to the email we're sharing today from Karen in Middleton is that while it shares the profile described above, it offers to give her that money with a catch: she's supposed to donate it.

Why I picked this email to share with you is because the list of things/causes/people she's supposed to give to made me chuckle as it encompasses many of the worthy causes in the world today.

Want to give to religious institutions? Well, Karen can upkeep churches, mosques and synagogues with the money from Mrs. Honoour Rosser. Further, she can help "widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially," but only if she's to be trusted.

I think she may have failed that test by sending this to me, but I'm inclined to give her a pass and think she's a pretty good egg by wanting to keep any of her neighbors from falling for drivel spam/scam like this. Thanks Karen for sending this in.

Just hit delete.


From: []
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2014 5:34 AM
To: Karen

I will provide you with donation of (6million Euros) for the upkeep of CHURCHES/MOSQUES/SYNAGOGUES widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.
if you are trusted and know you can handle this project whit the fear of GOD/ALLAH/JESUS get back to me with full details.
2: AGE
Mrs. Honoour Rosser

The Spam Report: Day #203: "Brace yourself for the worst"

Published On: Aug 25 2014 09:27:27 AM CDT

Lest you think my musical affinity lies solely with the C&C Music Factory and the soundtrack of "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" that I've mentioned in earlier Spam Repors, I also listened to my fair share of classic rock growing up.

Whenever my older sisters would get in trouble, not as often by the way as they should have, but when they would, I knew I could irritate them further (that's what little brothers do, right?) by humming the tunes from Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Bad Moon Rising."

The melody was enough to annoy them, but the words came to mind when I read the below email sent to me over the weekend by Bob in Oregon. 

"I see a bad moon arisin'... I see trouble on the way.

"I see earthquakes and lightnin'... I see bad times today.

"Don't go around tonight. Well it's bound to take your life. There's a bad moon on the rise."

Bob's spam/scam submission is threatening in nature, telling him "You didn't take this seriously and now you must face the consequences." It states that bad things about him have been posted online and he can stop it if he clicks on one of three different link points. We've disabled those links, but it's clearly a phishing expedition or even worse, one that will lead to malware being downloaded on his computer.

Thanks for sharing, Bob, and for warning your neighbors not to fall for this.

However, it's ok if you want to gently prod your siblings by humming the notes associated with the great CCR song when they deserve it. 

If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me:

And then, just hit delete.

From: "Verify Reports Alert" <>

Date: August 20, 2014 at 4:50:48 PM CDT

To: "Subscriber" <Bob's email>
Subject:You didn't take this seriously and now you must face the consequences

Dear (Bob's email)

Bad Things From Your Past Have Been Posted Online. Brace yourself for the worst

At 12:30pm (eastern time) damaging information was posted publicly that could hurt you.

Don't let people see this by confirming your person record ID# here

Review this now: Time is running out!

If you wish to no longer receive promotions please click here
538 W 21st St #97518,
Houston, TX 77008-3642

click here to unsubscribe.

The Spam Report: Day #202: "I want you to be my partner please"?

Published On: Aug 22 2014 11:01:57 AM CDT

Here at the Spam Report, we pay attention to the details of your junk email so you don't need to. The hope is that we're spending far more time on these than you ever should, but hopefully, you can glean something from these to enable you to dismiss them out of hand.

At the start of the internet, you know back when Al Gore was inventing it and John McCain was inventing cell phones (bipartisan jokes), each country received a two-letter domain name exclusive to their nation (i.e. ".us" for the United States, ".ca" for Canada).

The ".com" and ".org" are open to the public and have become associated with companies and non-profits here in this country. The reason I bring this up is not because I want to be xenophobic, but because you ought to know who you're dealing business with.

Here's a list of the internet country codes:

So, in the example we have below, if we can get past the poor grammar and typos, we can focus on the fact that someone from Malaysia wants us to invest in a "100% risk free" natural gas project in Bangladesh and the email address they want us to respond to (.ae) is from the United Arab Emirates.

We know what to do with these types of notes.

We hit delete... but maybe we email them to me here to warn others beforehand.

Have a great weekend.


Sent: Thursday, August 21, 2014 11:12 AM
Subject: Re: I want you to be my partner please "?

Pardon me if I invaded your privacy,

My Name is SUHAILI BIN HASSAN  Director D'Sophia Corporation Sdn. Bhd., Malaysia

However I understand the insecure nature of soliciting for business on the internet, unfortunately I have no other option than to search for credible foreign collaboration to partner with me in the actualization of a viable and profitable ADB Financed natural Gas project in Bangladesh.

All arrangements will be made under a legitimate framework.

The transaction is 100% risk free .

Full details will be disclosed to you on your expression of interest

I look forward to doing good business with you.

contact me

Warmest Regards


The Spam Report: Day #201: "A state of delinma"

Published On: Aug 21 2014 10:17:13 AM CDT
OTD April 22 - Earth Day

If you've ever played Trivial Pursuit, in all likelihood, you have a "color" you're best at. If you haven't played, the colors represent categories (i.e. History questions are yellow, Science are green, and Geography are blue).

I used to study the globe quite a bit as a kid, partly because my uncle was in the foreign service working for the State Department in a bunch of distant countries and because my older sisters didn't want anything to do with me. Bottom line, I did pretty well at the blue category.

However, everyone now and again, I still find myself vexed when presented with geographical locations. Like, for example, in the email below, where "Anna and Raman Sule" have $18.4 in blood diamond revenues from their late father that they want me to help transfer. They want to know what percentage I want to make the transaction worth my while. And they write that their father's death and the whole conundrum of finding a place for their money is leaving them in a "state of delinma."

When I sketched this blog post out in my head, I promise it sounded funnier than I feel I've written it.

Oh well, after 201 days, sometimes you're entitled to a dud.

Just hit delete.


From: Anna & Raman Sule []
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2014 2:19 PM
Subject: Hi Dear,

Hi Dear,

May the peace of gracious God be with you.please We have a problem and needs your help.We have decided that it is a good thing to write you for help.We have a proposal for you-this however is not mandatory nor will We in any manner compel you to honour against your will.We are in a state of delinma and your profile pushed us to send you this mail,Iam Anna & Raman Sule the Daughter and Son of Dr.Sule Kamara who was the former Director of Finance,Dr Sule KAMARA Sierra-Leone diamond and mining corporation. With regards to our through study of your business profile,We therefore decide to engage you in this proposal.
It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously on friday 5th febury 2003 during a some illness suspected to have been masterminded by his uncle of his, who travelled with him at that time. But God knows the truth ,Before the death of Ourlate father on February 5th 2004 he called us together and inform us about sum of Eighteen million,four hundred thousand United State Dollars.(USD$18.4M,000)left in one of the leading BANK.
He further told us that he deposited the money in my name, and finally issued a written instruction to his lawyer whom he said is in possession of all the necessary legal documents to this fund in the BANK.We really don't know what to do.But because of incessant political crisis here in Sierra-Leone .The death of our late father actually brought sorrow to our life. After everything we decided  to live the country because of the present government gets to know about this money we are and my brother are now in Ivory cost as refugee. We are in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards.Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.

Now permit us to ask these few questions.
What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is transfer in your bank account?
Please, Consider this and get back to us with your full details
Full Name
Home Address
Cell phone number
Private email
Company Name
Our greetings to your family.
Our sincere regards,
Waiting to hear from you urgent,
Anna and Raman Sule

The Spam Report: Day #200: "Send details"

Published On: Aug 20 2014 09:31:13 AM CDT
tennis ball court

I'm not much of an athlete. In the world of tell me something I don't know, you're wondering why I bring up this obvious fact.

It's because back in the day, I actually played tennis pretty well. Came to the sport unfortunately kind of late in my youth, right before high school, so I never had any time to develop any consistency, but I had flashes of being competitive with others in my age group. Won a few plastic trophies that the kids enjoy bending and breaking when they're hanging out at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Anyhow, my parents indulged me one summer and sent me to a tennis camp at Carthage College down in Kenosha. The motto for the counselors was, "No pain, no gain." We were going to have to sacrifice in order to get better. Gain was equated most certainly with pain. So, when I broke my foot and kept playing through the pain that shot up into my hip every time I lifted my leg, I thought I was seriously gaining to become the next John McEnroe.

Clearly, that didn't happen. However, the lesson of working hard to accomplish your goals is one that's stuck with me since.

It's why I look with particular disdain at the types of spam/scam that Vic sent in to The Spam Report. You see, there's no effort here. It's simply lazy and thus, should be deleted as many times as your computer will allow. I admire the creativity of some of these spam/scam efforts and wonder whether they'd have a future in marketing or some other legitimate industry, but what you see below, other than indulging me an opportunity to share a painful childhood memory, does not deserve any more of our time.

Just hit delete.

Have a great day. Thanks again, Vic.


-------Original Message-------

Date: 08/12/14 15:36:13

Subject: d


Send details to receive  your donation amount of 6000,000.00 price from Ira Curry NAME*...ADDRESS*...MOBILE*...OCCUPATION*...AGE*...COUNTRY

The Spam Report: Day #199: "Esteemed Compliments"

Published On: Aug 19 2014 12:27:22 PM CDT
Larry King 2

When I was in college at the University of Michigan, there was a guy who lived in my dorm my freshman year who thrived on trying to get on the Larry King Show on CNN. After being turned down numerous times when he'd say he was "John from Ann Arbor," he determined that Larry's producers, in order to boost the appearance of CNN as an international network, would only take calls from people overseas.

Now, this was in the days before Caller ID. I know I look like I'm 12, but I actually was in college back in the mid-80's.

So, "John from Ann Arbor" decided to become "Ron in Istanbul" or "Tom in Manchester" or my personal favorite, "Jim in Antwerp, Belgium." 

"Jim in Antwerp, Belgium, HELLO!!!" Larry shouted at him, welcoming him on the program, as he was comfortably nestled in his 3rd floor East Quad room, trying desperately to get his roommates to be quiet.

Anyhow, the reason for this story is because this morning, I was reminded how what we do here truly has no borders. Today's submission comes from Caroline, who watches News 3 from south of the border, in Lena, Illinois.

It's not Antwerp, Belgium but her submission to the Spam Report apparently comes from Ghana and deals with something called a "SUSPENSE ACCOUNT" that has $12.85 million that Caroline could get access to.

Allow me to remove any suspense, it's bogus and you don't need me shouting into a microphone to let you know that.

Thanks Caroline for sending this in. If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: and then remember, just hit delete.

Take care,



Mr. Daniel Boateng


9:15 AM (9 hours ago)

Esteemed Compliments,

I anticipate that you read this mail quickly and let me know your opinion or willingness on this classified information that I will release to you. Firstly, I am a happily married man with 3 kids and therefore I would not want to jeopardize this opportunity to change my financial status that will give my family a secured future.

I am Mr. Daniel Boateng., the Branch Manager of the Eco Bank Of Ghana Limited, First Light Branch Accra. I am 40 years of age. It may interest you to hear that I am a man of PEACE and don't want problem, but I don't know how you will feel about this, but I am telling you that this is real and you are not going to regret after doing this transaction with me . I only hope we can assist each other. But if you don't want this business offer kindly forget it.

I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit both of us, as the Branch Manager of the Eco Bank Of Ghana Limited; it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra-Ghana at the end of each year. On the course of the last two years 2011 end of the year report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the Manager made Twelve Million Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars [$12,850.000.00] which my head office are not aware of and will never be aware of, Nor must they know that I am involved in this transaction.

I have since place this fund on what we call SUSPENSE ACCOUNT without any beneficiary. As an officer of the Bank I cannot be directly connected to this money, so this is why i have to contacting you for us to work so that you can assist receive this money into your bank account for us to SHARE, Meanwhile you will have 50% of the total fund. Note there are practically no risk involved, it will be bank to bank transfer, all I need from you is to stand claim as the original depositor of this fund who made the deposit with our branch so that my Head office can order the transfer to your designated bank account.

If you accept this offer to work with me, I will appreciate it very much. As soon as I receive your kind response, I will give you details on how we can achieve it successfully.

Please contact me via this E-mail for more details:

Best Regards,

Mr.Daniel Boateng.

Branch Manager,

Eco Bank of Ghana.

The Spam Report: Day #198: "Watch words"

Published On: Aug 18 2014 10:35:59 AM CDT
not one-hit wonders - C+C Music Factory

One of the more unappreciated bands of my earlier days, back before I was listening to Barney and Pete Seeger (thanks, Dad) and Phineas and Ferb (thanks, Aunt Liz), was the C+C Music Factory. 

I'm sure you didn't associate dance and hip hop with yours truly and frankly, I remain today every bit as awkward as I was back in the day in terms of actually moving with the beat, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate or enjoy it.

Anyhow, one of the band's songs was "Things that make you go, Hmmm."

Now, getting an email from the "CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA" does not make you go "Hmmm," it makes you want to go, "Delete." However, there was a line in that email that vexed me. 

"My watch words for this transaction is probity, transparency, accountability and servicing."

Not sure I want transparency and servicing in any discussion of probity, but hey, that could just be me.

Have a wonderful day and just hit delete.


-----Original Message-----
Sent: Saturday, August 16, 2014 1:55 PM


International Credit Control Office

Mobolaji Bank Anthoney Way ,

Federal Capital Territory Abuja [FCT]

TEL: 234-708-4586-763

Our Ref: CBN/FGN/VO.01/011                       

From The Desk of : Dr. Ade Adeleke.  


Attention: Honourable Unpaid Contract/Inheritance Beneficiary,

Dear Sir/Madam,


Based on the recently concluded vetting authenticating and short listing of several unpaid foreign contract/ Inheritance payment  2011  by the President Federal Republic of Nigeria  Dr Goodluck Jonathan  , and  Federal Payment Advisory Board , the Senate Committee on Foreign Debt Payment and servicing, I am compelled to contact you today to commence your payment through our International Bank of Settlement which is the  “ JP Morgan Chase Bank of New York" USA.

My watch words for this transaction is probity, transparency, accountability and servicing. International Banking Ethics which is the same in the world will be implored to guide us for the successful transfer of your fund through Key Tested Telegraphic means. Be assured that all accrued Government taxes, i.e. cost of transfer will be deducted  at source of transfer at “ JP Morgan Chase Bank of New York” and the balance after  deducted taxes will be transferred to your nominated bank account.

Please refrain from dealing with dubious and unscrupulous impostors who might claim to be working for various government agencies, the aim of these people are to ask you for certain payment of money as pre-requisite for your fund release, you will do well to ignore their proposals as the Central Bank of Nigeria and indeed the Government of Nigeria will not be liable for monies paid to these fraudsters.

I shall commence transfer modalities with which you and your bank can work together for the payment, upon the receipt of the following below information on your company letter headed paper.

The Spam Report: Day #197: "Reminder Notice (Your ATM CARD)"

Published On: Aug 15 2014 08:04:29 AM CDT

One of the joys of fatherhood is to watch how the seemingly small can represent something so significant in the eyes of kids.

For example, my two youngest each had the good fortune to find a coin on the street within the last week. One found a dime, the other found a penny. Didn't matter as it was as if they'd found gold in the Colorado hills.

They wanted to know if they could play video games with their coin. Could they buy gum? Could they buy their mom a coffee? The latter, I thought, was a very nice offer and we needed to facilitate that with dad's money, not the new change found, but I digress.

I encouraged them to save their newly-found bounty, to put it in their piggy bank where one coin plus one coin plus another coin can eventually add up to a nice little sum. It's easy to write off the joy associated with finding something you didn't have earlier. For me, it's like finding a $5 in a pair of pants I hadn't worn in a while.

However, in the email below, that joy would border on euphoria if, in fact, it were true. Which it most certainly is not.

There are no random ATM cards out there to be delivered by a Nigerian clergyman with hundreds of thousands of dollars waiting to be claimed. Sorry, life doesn't work that way. Hopefully, you can be content with the occasional quarter on the street instead. Channel your inner child for the good feelings.

Just hit delete.

Have a great weekend.


From: Rev. John Clegg []
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2014 9:29 PM
Subject: Re: Reminder Notice (Your ATM CARD)

This is to remind you once again that your ATM card worth $450,000.00 dollars meant for your compensation is still with me. Kindly send the delivery fee of $120 dollars today so that i can post your ATM card to your delivery address and it will get to you within 24hours. Send the delivery fee with the name of my junior pastor as described below;

Name: Loies Okeke

Address: Lagos Nigeria

I will be travelling and won't be back till October, so go immediately and the send the delivery and call me on my direct phone number is +234 806 548 7534

Remain blessed

Reverend. John Clegg

Church of England 

The Spam Report: Day #196: "cSCAM VICTIM PAYMENT"

Published On: Aug 14 2014 08:15:13 AM CDT

Dear Ms. Carman Lapointe,

If you wish to scam/spam me or anyone else in the future, it helps to spell know that the word "Scam" is not spelled "cSCAM" as it appears in your note to me of Sunday, Aug. 3.

The United Nations, I'm sure, with its headquarters in New York, would not allow such a license to be used in its name with the English language.

Sometimes, a duck really is a duck just as a "cScam" is often really a "SCAM."

Just hit delete.


-----Original Message-----
From: Ms. Carman Lapointe []
Sent: Sunday, August 03, 2014 8:33 PM

Dear Unpaid Beneficiary,

My name is Ms. Carman L. Lapointe, Head Of United Nations Under-Secretary- General For Internal Oversight Services. You will get more information about me here.

Meanwhile, I wish to inform you that you are among the scam victims listed to be released their overdue funds by the UNITED NATIONS in conjunction with the International Monetary Fund (IMF) after the last encounter we held concerning your funds. As directed by the UN secretary General Ban Ki-Moon in collaborations with Federal Reserve Bank and Department of the U.S. Treasury, I wish to state categorically that a transfer of $10,500,000.00 drawn on First Citizens Bank will be made to your bank account as almost 99% cost associated with the transfer of your funds had been prepaid by the U.S. Government. The only fee you will pay is the cost of processing a "Fund Clearance Certificate" by First Citizens Bank.

Note that the Fund Clearance Certificate is required in accordance with the U.S. domestic and international Monetary Transfer Policy. It is the only fee you will have to pay before your funds can be transferred to your account. After you have paid for the above mentioned certificate, First Citizens Bank will process it and send a copy of it to you for your perusal. Be informed that your overdue payment worth $10,500,000.00 only will be credited into your account you will furnish with the First Citizens Bank without any delay because your funds has been approved by United Nations, International Monetary Fund, World Bank, and United States Government.

In accordance to the above information, I wish to inform you that we have been mandated by the United Nations Compensation Commission (UNCC) department through the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN) of the United States Department of the Treasury to release your overdue funds directly from the United Nations Compensation Fund Account via Telegraphic Transfer into your designated bank account. Note that the above sum is the payment of compensation awarded to you for losses and trauma resulting directly from scam committed against you in line with the Resolution 1483 (2012) adopted by the United Nations Security Council Headquarters in New York following series of complaints by the scam victims.

NOTE: I have received numerous e-mails saying that I went to Nigeria concerning your funds. Please ignore such e-mail because I did not travel to Nigeria for such objective. I am here in the United States of America. Nigeria is No.1 fraudulent country, almost 50% Nigerians are impostors. They valued impersonation immensely. Right from this moment, I will advise you to stop all further conversation with whomever you might be in contact with, promising to transfer money to you, either through Lottery Winnings, Act as a Next of Kin, investment plan, dating from any social websites or any other related issue that involves transferring money as they are all nothing but fraudulent.

Kindly get back to me with your full name, full address and direct phone number so that I will furnish you with the First Citizens Bank remittance director's contact information. Remember, he will instruct you on how to send the money to them as soon as you contact him.

Alternatively, you can email me on this e-mail

Yours Sincerely,

Ms. Carman Lapointe

The Spam Report: Day #195: "Hi, Medicare Enrollment Begins Soon"

Published On: Aug 13 2014 10:48:17 AM CDT
health insurance terms - donut hole

Often times in this blog, we feature the obvious clues to phishing or spam/scam emails as they're not hard to see (e.g. when they ask for your passport or bank account information). We know those are suspect and that we should never assume they're asked for in good faith despite our wish to believe in the inherent good nature of people.

However, you've also seen me write about the fine print. The story I always share about the importance of fine print is when my wife and I were buying our first home outside of Denver many years ago. No one had warned me about page 32 or whatever of the mortgage contract. That's the one which spells out exactly how much you'll pay in total if you pay off the mortgage in full over the life of the loan. It made me not want to read the fine print in the future, but reinforced the importance of doing so.

In the email we're featuring today, sent to us by Art S. in Madison, the fine print is what makes it so amusing and so telling. It's a standard phishing expedition that allegedly purports to help the recipient get Medicare coverage.

I'll let Art's own words take it from there: "I know you are always looking for these types of phishing emails.  I received 3 of these today.  Not only does it talk about how I need to enroll, but if you look at the very bottom there is a message about a deli sandwich shop in Houston and a Dublin Ireland address at the bottom of it for some reason! I was immediately taken by the Subject line.  I'm sure the Medicare program would send me an email with "Hi" in the title."

Art's keen powers of observation were spot-on. Not sure what a Houston gyro shop has in common with Medicare enrollment nor am I sure why an email about Medicare enrollment would come from a foreign country.

If you're not sure, then please, just hit delete.

Thanks Art for sending this in... and whetting my appetite. I haven't had a good gyro sandwich in a while.


-----Original Message-----
From: enrollment.period.23417139 []
Sent: Monday, August 04, 2014 9:31 AM
To: Art S.
Subject: Hi, Medicare Enrollment Begins Soon. Notice #23417139

Notice:  Medicare Open Enrollment Starts Soon          


Medicare Recipient:  Art S.

Open Enrollment for 2015 Medicare Programs begins October 15, 2014 to December 7, 2014.

You can only change your Medicare or Prescription Drug plan during this Annual Election Period.  .

Let Medicare Providers help you find the best, most affordable Medicare plan for you.

**Aetna, Humana, BlueCross, AARP and more**

Don't Wait.  Find the Best Plan and Save up to 40% Online:

Notice: 9101510

Opt-off this request:

Dundrum Town Centre,Dundrum

Dublin 16, Ireland

PO Box, No. 309

This place 9101510 is my go to deli every Saturday afternoon and each time I am served the best sandwich I have ever had. The ingredients 9101510 are fresh and the service is unbeatable. Everyone bcf9b28ad4a99b42af23fa4412c5d45b is cheerful and you can tell that they really care about making your order.  The first time 9101510 I went to Little Jimmy's I ordered the gyro and I can definitely say it tops the list of the best gyros 9101510 in Houston.bcf9b28ad4a99b42af23fa4412c5d45b

The Spam Report: Day #194: "Don't belongs to scammers"

Published On: Aug 11 2014 12:00:57 PM CDT

Thanks to Ruth L. in Lake Delton for submitting today's Spam Report where I am going to encourage you to follow the advice of the spammer/scammer.

You did not read that wrong. I am actually asking you to pay attention to what "Lieutenant General Joseph .H. Smith" is asking you to do.

"Please to remind you, don't belongs to scammers or any act of fraudulent on internet," he wrote.

I'm assuming for the purposes of this blog that means Ruth should not pass along her passport information or anything else to the aforementioned Lt. Gen. Smith.

As we are wont to say in this space, just hit delete.

Thanks Ruth for your efforts to keep your neighbors safe. If you have an email you want to warn folks about, please send it to me: and I may use it in this space and/or on television during my Live at 5 segments every Tuesday.

Have a great day.


From: "Lieutenant General Joseph .H. Smith" <>
Date: August 8, 2014 at 6:54:42 PM CDT
Subject:Attention ';

Attention ';

    I am Lieutenant General Joseph .H. Smith the Presidential Special
Initiative. I am mailing you in respect, of the present development
going on here in my country GHANA. I decided to contact you, after
much investigation which was carried out by the Bureau of National
Investigation (BNI) and also with the Ghana Police Service, in order
to make sure that our country is free from those fraudulent
activities, which are going on here in Africa and for our country to
also bear a good name.

   The Airport Authority detected two trunk boxes after been scanned, the
authorities detected that the boxes contains funds and Gold on your
name and email that has been tempered on, they were been smuggled into
the country by foreign Personnel who were on transit from London.
These men were trying to enter the country with the trunk boxes, when
the airport authority detected that these boxes contains some huge
amount of United State Dollars. After much investigation we found out
that these men were among those men spoiling the good name of Africa.
They opened up to us that they actually work with a Lotto company
before their dismissal and used the opportunity to perpetuate their
crimes, they told us that the funds inside the boxes was won by you,
but now they planned to turn their back on you and decided to take the
money all to themselves out of the country. We later found out on the
investigation that was carried out, these men are truly members of a
well established organization in United Kingdom.

  As I write you this mail now, the three(3) men that were caught are now
in the custody of the Ghana Police Service over here in our country
Ghana, while we are trying to track the others left, because they have
proved to us that they belong to one organization. That is why we have
to reach you by your email address that was tagged in the boxes so we
can make arrangement on the delivery of the recovered boxes by a United
Nation Diplomatic Personnel to you.

Your urgent response will be very much appreciated as soon as you have
received this email. Thank you for your kind attention, for us to make
sure our beloved country Ghana, bears a good name. Please you are to
provide this below information's..

A: FULL NAMES:.........
B: ADDRESS:.........
D: COUNTRY:.........

This information will be required by the authorities in Ghana to draft the
new change of ownership in your name as the rightful owner of the funds in
our custody and also to verify the information given to us because the
documentations covering the boxes have been tampered on.

Please to remind you, don't belongs to scammers or any act of fraudulent
on internet. I will give more information to you as i await your response

Honest Regards,
Lieutenant General Joseph .H. Smith
Presidential Special Initiative,Republic Of Ghana

The Spam Report: Day #193: Condolences or congratulations

Published On: Aug 07 2014 12:01:16 PM CDT

Often times in this blog, we ask the fundamental question: What are the chances that (fill in the blank)?

If the answer is remote or beyond remote or better put, beyond, beyond remote, then chances are, what you perceive to be a spam is in reality, a scam.

Case in point, I present to you the emails below from Nicole S. in Windsor. Yes, emails plural. She received both of these last week.

They are the garden variety, you have a dead relative you never met who perished in some sort of a horrendous accident and their multi-million dollar bank account languishes in perpetuity, without any rescue possible unless you help by providing your personal information to the alleged "banker" who has written you.

It's completely implausible and using our question postulated earlier (What are the chances that...), I think we can conclusively state it's bogus.

But what makes Nicole's situation particularly amusing is that she received two of these within a week, both allegedly from the African nation of Benin, and that she had two DIFFERENT long-lost, never-known relatives to have died in that location. Somehow, I'm guessing the memories of both Michael and Frederick, the names from the respective emails, will not be sullied if she goes ahead and ignores these emails, as she should.

Thanks for sharing, Nicole.

I'm off of work tomorrow, so the blog will be back on Monday.

Take care and remember, the best way to battle these is to just hit delete.


Avocat Sadikou Kiffayatou Liamidi

Address:BP 1475 Porto Novo Ouémé

Benin Republic, West Africa.

My Dear

I know you will be very surprise for receiving this letter from me, Please Accept my apologies for writing to you in this mode for it might be of inconvenience to you,But due to my quest for an honest and reliable international assistance I have no option but to go this length, I’m Barrister Sadikou Kiffayatou Liamidi.The private attorney to Late Mr Michael S.,a national of your country and a former Engineering Contractor,who works with the (TOTAL BENIN) an Oil & Gas servicing and distribution company base in Benin Republic West Africa, Here in after shall be referred to as my client.

On July 31th, 2010, my client and his entire family died in a Car Accident which occure along Airport express Road in Cotonou Benin. Since that incidence, I have made several inquiries through your embassy and consulate to see if I could trace any member of my clients extended relative(s) but all to no avail.

After these several unsuccessful attempts and fruitless effort,I decided to track down his last name over the Internet to locate any member of his extended relatives hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist me in repatriating/claim these large sum of money (funds) at about $12.5 Million USD (Twelve million Five hundred thousand United state Dollars), which was left behind by my late client before his death in 2010. These huge deposit amounts were particularly lodged with the"BANQUE ATLANTIQUE BENIN” An affiliate of Commercial Bank of Africa where the deceased lodged the money before his demise.

The Bank has issued me an ultimatum of 21 working days to present the next of kin/relative of the deceased to claim the funds or has the account confiscated and closed as unserviceable account by the Bank here. Since I have made several unsuccessful attempts in locating the deceased relatives for over years now, I seek your honest consent to present you as the Heir apparent to the deceased (Next-of-Kin) since you have the same surname with him, so that the proceeds of this account valued $12.5 Million United States Dollars would be paid to you as the beneficiary, then you and I can Share the money...50% to me and 50% to you.I will use my position as an attorney and legal practitioner to render all necessary legal assistance and documentations that can be used to back up this claim.

I must give you absolute guarantee that this transaction would be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law, and I must also assure you that all modalities for the successful transaction have been set in place, so everything will be perfectly worked out without hitch. All I required from you now is your mutual understanding and honest cooperation to enable us seeing this Deal through.

And the way we are going to achieve this is, I will need the following information from you;

Your Full Name.............
Your email Address.............
Your Occupation......................
Your Telephone Number..................
You Fax number...........................
Your Age..................................

For privacy please reply to my private email address:

I await your reply ASAP

Best Regards
Sadikou K. Liamidi



I am Barrister Eric Kohlman,private attorney to Late Frederick S.,a national of your country, who used to work as the Director of (patrollers total Benin) Oil Company Cotonou in Benin Republic West Coast of Africa,Here in after shall be Referred to as my client.On the 19th of May 2010,my client,His wife and their two Childrens were involved in a car accident along cotonou express-road.All occupants of the vehicle Unfortunately lost their lives.Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives but all efforts was just in vain.After these several unsuccessful attempts,I decided to track His last name over the Internet,to locate any member of his Family hence I contacted you.

I have contacted you to assist in Repatriating the money left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the Banque Atlantique Benin Republic West Africa.These huge deposits were lodged particularly,with the Banque Atlantique Benin" where the Deceased had an account valued at US$6.1 million(Six Millon one Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only). The Bank has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated.
Since I have been unsuccessful in Locating his relatives,now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have The same last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at $6.1 million can be paid to you and then you and me can Share the money 50% to me and 50% to you.I will procure all Necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make.

All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us seeing this Deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law or you can call me at (+229)96325749.
And the way we are going to achieve this is I will need the following information from you such as;

Your Full Name and Address,Your Age,
Occupation and Position, Your Telephone Mobile and Fax Number for Communication Purpose.
For privacy please reply to this E-Mail Address:

I await your Call and reply ASAP.
Best Regards,
Barrister Eric Kohlman
Tel: (+229)96325749

The Spam Report: Day #192: "Google Team"

Published On: Aug 06 2014 02:30:54 PM CDT
1980 U

"Do you believe in miracles? Yes!"

The call of ABC announcer Al Michaels from Lake Placid of the 1980 U.S.A. hockey team's win over the Soviet Union in the Winter Olympic Games is one of the most iconic ever broadcast in this country.

The idea that this plucky group of amateurs could defeat the previously invincible, rugged Soviets was one that captured a nation's attention and led to the now ubiquitous cheer of "U.S.A., U.S.A.," every time American pride is at stake.

Well, the email sent to us yesterday from Vic Duesel calls for us to believe in another miracle: that being, three of the main technology giants in the world today, Apple, Microsoft and Google, which have been engaged in their own version of a capitalistic cage match over the last decade, have somehow put aside their differences to award $500,000 to Vic's email address.

Suspending reality is often what these spammers/scammers rely upon. Consider our role here at The Spam Report as the naysayers, the water dousers, the skeptics. To believe what's below is authentic is to believe that the fans of the Green Bay Packers, the Chicago Bears and the Minnesota Vikings would team up to reward a fan of the Detroit Lions.

Just not going to happen folks. It's a spam/scam and you should just hit delete.

Thanks for sending this in, Vic.

Take care,


From:Helsley, Olivia Ellyn Dean - helsleoe

Date: 8/5/2014 3:15:25 AM

Subject: Google team

This Email is to inform you that your gmail address has just won you $500.000.00 and an APPLE LAPTOP for this month of 2014 lottery promotion, which is organized by GMAIL & MICROSOFT OUTLOOK LOTTERY INC & WINDOWS 8. Microsoft Windows collects all the gmail addresses of the people that are active online and various Microsoft Windows users, among the people that subscribed to Gmail and Hotmail. Gmail, we select five people every year as our winners through the electronic balloting system without the winner applying. We congratulate you for being one of the people selected.


Contact Email:




Thank you and accept my hearty congratulations once again!

The Spam Report: Day #191: "Urgent Attention Needed"

Published On: Aug 05 2014 11:22:53 AM CDT
Neighbors, houses, homes iStock

From the beginning of this endeavor, I've counted on you to help me help those in our community who might be susceptible to believing the spam/scam emails being sent their way.

I am more than happy and willing to cede any authority I have on this subject to you all. Today, courtesy of Joel Freeman, we have a Spam Report submission plus an honest-to-goodness debunking that's better than anything I could present.

Without further ado, I present his email and thank him for his service to the cause.

Since it's my shtick, I will simply add the phrase: Just hit delete.

Take care,


"Mr. Schrager - 

I thought you'd enjoy this one for more than just the usual bad spelling and grammar. Case in point: "monitory" is an actual word, but it is related to admonition, or warning, not pecuniary assets like "monetary."

Let's look at other questionable details:

  • The unrestrained use of name-dropping, with the UN, IMF, World Bank, the governments of the US and Benin all somehow working in concert to my benefit.
  • The IMF Financial Monitory Office's Benin (Africa) unit sends email from Romania.
  • The reply address for a prestigious global financial behemoth is a free Yahoo account.
  • The director of the US IMF Monitory Department/Unit (it doesn't know which it is) has a Yahoo email account originating in Malaysia.
  • I have to pay *them* a $188 "consulting fee" so I can have my $7.2 million  -- and through Western Union at that -- if I can't just pop in at their west African address to pocket the cash in person. They don't trust me enough to pay them from the proceeds, I guess.
  • I'm supposed to keep it all under wraps until the "secret service" catches all the criminals involved in the fraudulent activity that made this excessive restitution necessary and possible.

This offer is about as attractive as contracting a "mild" case of ebola. Hemorrhage, anyone?

Let me know if you use it on the teevee. You do have my permission.

Best regards,

Joel Freeman"

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Date: Sat, Jul 26, 2014 at 5:00 PM
Subject: Urgent Attention Needed

100 Broad Street Main Ave Benin Republic, 2014

International Monetary Fund,
Committee on policy harmonization west Africa.

Urgent Attention .

We are pleased to inform you that we are the International Monetary Fund (IMF) set up by the United Nations in conjunction with the World Bank Based on series of petitions we received from International Bodies such as Cooperate Bodies and Non-Governmental

After the meeting held on yesterday,your name was listed for compensation payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid $7.2million  USD .as compensations. On this faithful recommendations, I want you to know that during the last meetings held at Coton

In other to compensate victims, the U.N Body is now paying 10 victims of this operators $7.2million  USD each in accordance with the U.N.recommendations. Due to the corrupt and inefficient Banking Systems,the payments are to be paid by Central Bank of wes

reason what so ever as the U.S. secret service is already on trace of the other criminals. So keep it secret till they are all apprehended. Other victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible considerat

Listen to me now, you have nothing to pay for the transfer of this your funds into your account, if you will not be able to come down here by yourself to sign the certificate of fund release order of the funds, you will contact the central bank of west Af

Your full name
Your country
Your city
Your age\sex
Your Direct telephone number,
Mobile Phone Number

Contact us with this email( we are waiting for your response to commence with the transfer immediately.

Your personal code:
Payment Reference No.-35460021, Allocation No:
674632 Password No : 339331 , Pin Code No: 55674 and your
Certificate of Merit Payment No : 103 , Released Code
No: 0763; Immediate Telex confirmation No: -1114433 ; Secret
Code No: XXTN013 ,

We are expecting your urgent response to this email to know if you will be able to come down here or send the $188 for the consultation fee,


Receiver's Name:--------Okwudili Williams
Country---------------------Benin Republic
Sender's Name-----------
Sender's Moblie Phone number----------


The Spam Report: Day #190: "Exxon UK !!"

Published On: Aug 04 2014 11:36:20 AM CDT
80s TV stars - Linda Gray then

Good morning, all. I hope you had a nice weekend.

I spent a fleeting moment ruminating on my future as an energy executive after receiving the email below. Many of my Friday nights growing up were spent watching "Dallas" and "Knots Landing" on television with my grandparents as my parents escaped the madness associated with my sisters and me.

I always fancied myself more of a Bobby Ewing-type than a J.R. Ewing-type, so when I read in the below spam/scam words like "manipulation," I was inclined to pass on the offer. I did respond to these folks and asked who in the "British Export Promotion Council" had recommended me. Haven't heard back and don't expect to.

No one will reach out to you and offer you millions in energy profits. You'd have better luck hitting it big in the energy world, like that other great show of my childhood, "The Beverly Hillbillies."

Just hit delete.


-----Original Message-----
From: Thadeus Davat []
Sent: Wednesday, July 30, 2014 12:03 PM
Subject: Exxon UK !!

From: Dr. Thadeus Davat

Esso UK Limited,

registered in England under company number 1589650, ExxonMobil House Ermyn Way Leatherhead Surrey, KT22 8UX .

I am Dr. Thadeus Davat, an Engineer with Exxon Mobil in London I got your contact address from an associate working with the British Export Promotion Council. Before i continue, let me stress that i am NOT contacting you for financial assistance.

I and my colleagues are officials in charge of offshore remittance in this establishment. We are seeking your assistance to move of [GBP ?35,000,000.00] THIRTY FIVE MILLION POUNDS STERLING] to your account/country for further private investment.

Please note that the nature of your job/business does not matter and you will be better informed when I hear from you. This amount accrued from an over-invoiced contract amount for the construction of an Oil Refinery Sub-stations in east London in 2005 to expatriate companies. The contract was originally valued for One Hundred and Twenty Seven Million Pounds Sterling (?127,000,000.00), but we manipulated the figure to read One Hundred and Sixty Million Pounds Sterling (?162,000,000.00). The extra ?35,000,000.00 is what we want to move to your account for our own personal use.

This contract has been completely executed and the original contractors have been paid their entire contract sum. We have agreed to remunerate you with 30% because it is impossible for us to claim the amount here in London without foreign collaboration. 10% has been mapped out for any miscellaneous expenses incurred by either party during this business such as taxation in your country upon arrival of the funds into your account, and 60% for my colleagues and myself.

All modalities to move this money have been worked out. This transaction is 100% risk free but requires 100 percent confidentiality. This is a golden opportunity, which must not be allowed to slip out of any careless acts and utterances. We chose you for this transaction because we believe that good friendship can be discovered and businesses such as this cannot be realized without trust. You can be rest assured that your security has been considered before you were contacted.

I will let you have the details in my next message, but in summary, the fund would be moved to you from the financial institution where it is presently deposited as soon as you agree to participate and receive this funds on our behalf.

Upon the receipt of this message, feel free to send to me the following to enable us start the process:

(1) Your Full Name

(2) Complete Address

(3) Telephone

(4) Profession

Thanks and best regards in anticipation of your response.

Best Regards,

Dr. Thadeus Davat

The Spam Report: Day #189: "Congratulation you won"

Published On: Aug 01 2014 01:28:10 PM CDT
Toy Hall - Magic 8 Ball

Normally, I'm loathe to repeat a spam/scam in this space since there are so many new emails to choose from each and every day. However, I've received a couple of phone calls and emails the last week from viewers who are being told they've won the Publisher's Clearing House. I've posted what the email version looks like below.

So, even though I've reported on this fraud as recently as last month, I'm compelled to do so again to make sure I can cover as many people as possible.

Here is a link to the fraud protection page at Publisher's Clearing House:

Further, if you don't have time to read that, read this simple quote which pretty much says it all:

PCH employees would never contact you personally or in advance to notify you of a prize award. Our prize awards are presented just the way you see in our popular TV commercials, ‘live and in person’ by our Prize Patrol, with balloons, champagne and check in hand - - and with no advance notification!

Have a wonderful weekend.

Just hit delete.


-----Original Message-----
From: Publishers Clearing House []
Sent: Tuesday, July 29, 2014 4:22 PM
Subject: Congratulation you won

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you that you are among the lst batch of winners that has been chosen to receive publishers Clearing House mega winning of $1,000,000.00 this JULY.

please get back to us with this code to prove you received our notice (PCH/July/3574/2014).

Yours Faithfully

Deborah Holland

Executive Vice President.

Publishers Clearing House


The Spam Report: Day #188: "PAID TO DRIVE"

Published On: Jul 31 2014 11:12:12 AM CDT
Red Bull

Happy Thursday to you all out there,

Hopefully, you've had a nice last few days. Since we did not have an opportunity on Tuesday to feature a viewer-submitted email due to my time off, I thought I'd present one to you here today.

This one plays off the premise you can earn money by just driving around. It's not free money, but the email sent to Ken. K. is pretty darn close. Ostensibly, it's from the makers of Red Bull, who are offering him $500 a week to let them plaster an "advert" on his car.

"You will be compensated with $500 per week which is essentially a "rental"payment for letting our company use the space no fee is required from you," the email reads. "RedBul (sic) shall provide experts that would handle the advert placing on your car. You will receive an up front payment of $500 inform of check via courier service for accepting to carry this advert on your car."

Allow me to allow Ken to debunk this for you:

"I'm betting this is a scam," he wrote in an email to me. "It's the first time I've seen it and would guess the misspellings and hackneyed grammar were created by someone not in Red Bull's advertising department. Feel free to bring it up on your Live at Five segment if you want. (On the other hand, if it's legit, I'll buy an old piece-o-crap beater and take their $500/week!)"

Sorry Ken, but "an old piece-o-crap beater" is not in your future for this purpose. Red Bull, which by the way was spelled incorrectly in the email, has a warning about a similar drive-around-and-get-paid email on its website:

Thanks for sharing, Ken. Oh, and awesome use of the word, "hackneyed." Great word choices will always be valued by the author of this blog.

Cheers and remember, just hit delete.


-------- Original message --------
Date: 07/29/2014 4:34 PM (GMT-06:00)
To ken xxxxx

We are currently seeking to employ individual’s world wide. How would you like to make money by simply driving your car advertising for RED BULL.

How it works?

Here’s the basic premise of the "paid to drive" concept: RedBull seeks people -- regular citizens,professional drivers to go about their normal routine as they usually do, only with a small advert for "RED BULL" plastered on your car. The advert are typically vinyl decals, also known as "auto wraps,"that almost seem to be painted on the vehicle, and which will cover any portion of your car's exterior surface.

What does the company get out of this type of ad strategy? Lots of exposure and awareness. The auto wraps tend to be colorful, eye-catching and attract lots of attention. Plus, it's a form of advertising with a captive audience,meaning people who are stuck in traffic can't avoid seeing the wrapped car alongside them.
This program will last for 12 months and the minimum you can participate is 1 month.

You will be compensated with $500 per week which is essentially a "rental"payment for letting our company use the space no fee is required from you RedBul shall provide experts that would handle the advert placing on your car. You will receive an up front payment of $500 inform of check via courier service for accepting to carry this advert on your car.

It is very easy and simple , no application fees required contact email along with the following if you are interested in these offer.

Full Name:
Zip code:
Make of car/ year:
Exterior Color of Car:
Telephone numbers:

We will contact you immediately we receive this information.

Kind Regards!

© Red Bull Car Advertisement. All rights reserved.

The Spam Report: Day #187: "Hello dear customer,"

Published On: Jul 24 2014 11:27:35 AM CDT
Nigeria Flag

We have stipulated from the beginning that the large majority of readers to this blog (i.e. Mom and maybe Janet from Portage, who I featured yesterday, at least for the next couple days until I bore her), know and realize the ridiculous nature of the spam/scam emails regularly presented in the space below.

Janet and I had a conversation off line the other day about whether we should feature the truly sensational or ludicrous as the general populace sees through it like lace in the sunshine. My contention has always been that maybe there's someone out there who resides on the border of naive and sophisticated and it's my job to bring them to my neighborhood of reality . If they do an internet search and stumble onto this, we've done our job.

So, below, we see another preposterous email claiming to be from a Western Union executive, who says that thanks to the Nigerian president, $5 million will be uploaded onto an ATM card and sent to me. In the course of looking up the history of why Nigeria is used so often, I came across a research paper from Microsoft that speaks to a possible reason behind making a solicitation like this that's so out-there, if you will.

The article is lengthy, so I've linked it here if you want to read more. However, the premise is that the cost of sending the original email is negligible and the real work only begins once someone responds. I found the following conclusion to be fascinating:

"Since gullibility is unobservable, the best strategy is to get those who possess (the) quality to self-identify."

So, we are in a battle to reach those who "self-identify," who may wonder about accuracy, who may want to believe there really could be $5 million from the Nigerian government waiting for them.

Without passing any judgment on those folks at all, I simply state today, and every day in this blog, if you get an email like this, just hit delete.

It's not real.

Take care.

I'm out of the office the next few days, so we'll be back next Thursday.


-----Original Message-----
From: Mr. Shegun Akintomi []
Sent: Thursday, July 24, 2014 6:20 AM
Subject: Hello dear customer,

Hello dear customer,

On behalf of the management of entire Western Union Office here, I write to inform you that after the general meeting held on the first of June, we concluded with the federal authority that your funds will no longer be transferred through western union means of sending money worldwide. This issue was investigated and addressed by the President, Federal Republic of Nigeria and the Governing Board of CBN because of the unnecessary delay of your payment. It was further noticed that your funds has been unnecessarily delayed by corrupt agents of some banks and other government officials as well as some Western Union agents in this country. Currently your payment has been recommended and approved by the federal authority that your should choose either to send you an official ATM card or get the funds transferred to you without anymore delays.

It was further noted that it will take much time to transfer such huge amount by western union. This led to the agreement that you will be sent an ATM card with the value of five million United States Dollars

($5,000,000.00USD) or wires the funds directly into your bank account.

This will also put a stop on the hopeless situation created by those officials who claimed to be in charge for your payment.

The federal authority in their view to making this transaction successful, appointed Skye bank director Mr. Shegun Akintomi to take charge. He is the only director in charge for your payment now. You are advised now to stop any further communication with other offices including western union because we are no longer in charge of your funds. If in anyway you received mail stating that you should contact western union, kindly know that it's a fake and it will be treated as such.

Nigerian Financial Intelligence Unit (NFIU) ordered federal securities to secretly monitor the director until so as to maintain the instruction as given by the office of presidency. They will monitor him until you receive your funds. Contact Mr. Shegun Akintomi now at, office line: +234 902 168 8548. Call immediately you emailed him for urgent instruction on what to do next.


Management of Western Union


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