Spam Report

The Spam Report: Day #272: "Unclaimed funds"

Published On: Dec 19 2014 09:43:49 AM CST
Money in wallet

So, I received an email from Ibrahim Mzee last month that's pretty short.

Here it is in full: "Sir  kindly  a m looking for  unclaimed  funds to claim as a  next of kin to share  as partners."

Keep looking, Ibrahim. Keep looking. You won't find that money here.

However, if you look at past examples of The Spam Report, there are numerous "bankers" who've written me who might be able to help.

Have a wonderful holiday season, all.

I'm off next week but will be back a week from Monday.

Take care,


From: Ibrahim Mzee <>
Date: November 4, 2014 9:51:27 PM CST
To: Adam Schrager
Subject:Unclaimed  funds
Reply-To: Ibrahim Mzee <>

Sir  kindly  a m looking for  unclaimed  funds to claim as a  next of kin to share  as partners

The Spam Report: Day #271: "Ungent Loan Offer Apply Now."

Published On: Dec 18 2014 11:24:42 AM CST

I know money is tight for many folks, especially around the holidays, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and offer some financial advice.

Don't ever apply for a loan from someone who advertises in their subject line that they offer "Ungent" loans. Typos kind of matter in that world. I mean, you may think Frank's offering you a "low interest rate of 3%," and that "Your help comes now," but move that decimal point one space and that 3 percent quickly becomes 30%.

That would lead to an "Ungent" call for action.

Have a great weekend.


-----Original Message-----
From: Frank Odion []
Sent: Thursday, December 11, 2014 11:19 AM
Subject: Ungent Loan Offer Apply Now.


 Are you in dept? Have you been denied of loan from Bank? Or do you need a loan to pay off bills? worry no more,Your help comes now, Frank Loan Investment is a loan lending firm that offers all kinds of loan to people, firms who are in need of loan with a low interest rate of 3% contact us via email:


FIRST NAME __________

LAST NAME __________

AGE __________

SEX __________

ZIP CODE __________

COUNTRY __________


CITY __________

MOBILE NUMBER __________

OCCUPATION __________

Monthly Income __________


PURPOSE OF LOAN __________

LOAN DURATION __________

We await your urgent response.


The Spam Report: Day #270: "joy"

Published On: Dec 17 2014 11:34:29 AM CST
Save 1000 - Generic

Back in the spring, we started this blog with the idea of posting a spam/scam email every day to help alert consumers to be wary of what they get on line unsolicited.

Since not everyone reads this every day (cough, cough), it's easy to have missed some of our earlier posts. I like to reward creativity and disparage redundancy, but in this case, it's a particularly insidious claim so I thought I'd address it again.

It's actually a different email related to the same spam/scam I featured back in May, so that's my excuse. 

Anyhow, Allen and Violet Large made international news when they gave away 98 percent or their multi-million dollar lottery winnings earlier this decade. She has subsequently passed away, years after they've already given away their winnings, but still the spam/scam continues.

Here's what Allen Large told Canadian television about the people trying to take advantage of what he and his wife did... "Madder than hell."

Anyhow, please don't fall for this. It's not true.


Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2014 7:38 AM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: Re: joy

Greetings to You
I hope this information meet you well as I know you will be curious to know why/how I selected you to receive a cash sum of $2,000,000 USD, our information below is 100% legitimate, please see the link below:
My wife and I decided to donate the sum of $2,000,000 USD to you as part of our charity project to improve the lot of 10 lucky individuals all over the world from our $11.3 million Jackpot Lottery winning fund. We prayed and searched over the internet for assistance because i saw your profile on Microsoft email owners list and picked you. Violet my wife and i have decided to make sure this is put on the internet for the world to see. my wife has cancer and she died last year July 16 at colchester regional hospital in truro, my wife just didn't die but she was a great person and I miss her so much and this is why I have decided to do one thing i promised her forever. as you could see from the webpage above, am not getting any younger and you can imagine having no kids at this age. although we won this lottery funds 2 years ago and we have helped some charity organizations from our winnings.
You see after taken care of the needs of our immediate family members, Before she died we decided to donate the remaining of the $11million to other individuals around the world in need, the local fire department, the red cross, Haiti, hospitals in truro where violet underwent her cancer treatment, and some other organizations in Asia and Europe that fight cancer, alzheimer's and diabetes and the bulk of the funds deposited with our payout bank of this charity donation. we have kept just 2% of the entire lottery sum to our self for the raining day.
To facilitate the payment process of the funds ($2,000,000 USD) which have been donated solely to you, you are to send us your full names for payment, your contact address and your personal telephone number, so that i can forward your payment information to you immediately. I am hoping that you will be able to use the money wisely and judiciously over there in your country.
I like to re-assure you of the legitimacy of this services as we will not be involved in any fraudulent act and will never be, we only want to feel good by helping people this time of the year, this is the only thing that makes my wife happy too even now that she is not here with me anymore,

Thank you for accepting our offer, we are indeed grateful.
God bless you
Allen and Violet Large. ?

The Spam Report: Day #269: "Greetings"

Published On: Dec 16 2014 11:11:05 AM CST
Princess Bride WATN - intro

I used to be able to multitask with the best of them. Conduct conversations while reading. Remember appointments without having to write them down. And then, I had children.

So, now, I'm unclear whether I've written in this space before about my history with the great 1980's film, "The Princess Bride." I guess I could probably take my own advice in this blog from many days past where I encourage folks to simply do an internet search, but I'm in the writing zone, so I'm going to share it again although I'll be brief.

My first month living in an off-campus apartment, we received free premium cable tv, which back in 1988 was pretty cool. The featured film on HBO during the month of September was "The Princess Bride." Suffice it to say, I probably watched it 14 times that month, at all hours of the day, and still, nearly 30 years later, have much of the film committed to memory.

I can't remember what I'm supposed to get at the grocery store, but I can remember that film. In case my wife is reading this today, that's for her. Who am I kidding, she's busier than me and unless I suggest she read it, she won't and even if I suggest it, she might not have time for it.

Anyhow, the reason for this story is because today's Spam Report which came from "Fred Lee," who is allegedly a Hong Kong banker. He's offering me the opportunity to help him with an investment left behind by a dead customer of his. The reason I brought up the movie is because of this line in the email: "If you're not interested in my offer do not respond to this email."

It reminded me of this moment from the great Vizzini (Wallace Shawn).

Enjoy and please hit delete.


From: Fred Lee []
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2014 6:46 AM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: Greetings


I am Fred Lee,staff of Hong Leong Bank Hong Kong. An investment was placed under my management 13yrs ago by a customer who is now deceased. I need your assistance in investing these funds. If you're interested contact me via my private email

If you're not interested in my offer do not respond to this email.Awaiting your reply.


Fred Lee

The Spam Report: Day #268: "Dear.Beneficiary,"

Published On: Dec 15 2014 11:26:54 AM CST   Updated On: Dec 15 2014 11:27:36 AM CST

In our continuous trip through my often-times odd journey to find connections with spam/scam emails and movies of my past, I present to you today's Spam Report, courtesy of Teresa in Mt. Horeb.

Ostensibly, Teresa's efforts, unknown to her, to transfer $2.5 million through a Money Gram didn't go through and thus, she was getting a new "ATM MASTER CARD" for the money she didn't know she had and all she had to do was give over some personal information.

"I would surely like to have the $2.5 million, but obviously something that is too good to be true most often is," she wrote to me. 

But what jumped at her is what jumped at me.

"This email really had me at Dear.Beneficiary," she said. 

Which, of course, led me to this clip: "You had me at hello."

Hope you had a nice weekend.

Thanks Teresa for sharing.


From: Mrs.Kerry John. <>
Sent: Wed, Dec 10, 2014 11:11 am
Subject: Dear.Beneficiary,


This is to bring to your notice that because of the impossibility of your fund transfer through the Money Gram network, we have credited your total sum of $2.5millon valid fund into an ATM MASTER CARD and I have paid the re-activation and the delivery fees of the ATM Card for you, I paid it because the ATM Card worth of $2,500,000.00 which I have registered yesterday has less than 21 days to expire in the custody of the DHL Company and when it expires, the money will go into Federal Government treasury account.

For that reason we have decided to help you pay off the money so that the ATM Card will not expire, because I trust that when you receive your ATM Card definitely you must pay me back my money and as well compensate me for helping you if you wish.

Now I want you to contact DHL Express at:( with your physical address where you desire the package delivered so that they can deliver your ATM Card to your designated address without any delay.

Therefore, you are to re-confirm your full delivery information to them as follows:

Full Name: ..........................

Home address:..................


Marital status:.....................



Mobile number:..................

Age: ......................................

Like I stated earlier, the credit re-activation, delivery and the company registration charges has been paid by me, but we did not pay their official keeping fees since they refused and the reason is that they do not know when you are going to contact them and the demur-rage might have increased by then, They told me that their keeping fees is $75 only per day, and I deposited it yesterday being 6th of November 2014

Below is the Contact Information of the DHL Express Customer Service Director Mr. Mandela Freeman, Email Address:( Tel: +229- 68569143.

The Spam Report: Day #267: "I need your help................"

Published On: Dec 12 2014 01:21:13 PM CST
Back to the Future, DeLorean time machine

So, in my world lately, as a devout Chicago Cubs fan, there's been a lot of excitement over the team signing Jon Lester, a true ace of a starting pitcher that the team hasn't had in years. Further, it's led, prematurely I might add, to a recycling of a movie clip from years ago, "Back to The Future 2" where the Cubs finally won the World Series in 2015. 

Forget for a moment they beat Miami, a fellow National League ballclub in the clip, but that whole film is about time travel. Often times, in dealing with the spam/scam emails we get here, suspending reality, the kind of thing that would make time travel plausible, is needed.

Take, for example, today's example. It's ostensibly from "Ms. Tina Juan," an 18-year-old whose father ran gold and cotton operations in a west African nation before he died. She needs my help in getting access to the "US $450,000.00" that her father left her, but she can't access without a foreign investor since that's the deal her dad allegedly made with the bank's hierarchy.

Well, a simple Google search turned up this exact same email sent June 10, 2011 except for one vital difference. In that case, "Ms. Tina Juan" was 21 years old. 

So, three years ago, she's three years older than she purports to be now.

Mind blown.

Don't even know if that qualifies in a time travel post, but it did allow me to post about the Cubs. Please don't begrudge me that as some of my happiest memories from childhood are of watching games with my grandfather.

Plus, they haven't won anything since 1908. You know, back when "Ms. Tina Juan" was 24 years old.

Have a great weekend.


From: Ms.Tina Juan []
Sent: Thursday, December 11, 2014 9:41 AM
Subject: I need your help................

Good day to you dearest......

With due respect respond to me back.

Hope all is well with you? my name is Ms. Tina Juan, the only daughter and the only child of late Mr. Adams Juan, I am 18 years old girl Single , My father was the Director of Gold and cotton products exportation in Burkina Faso, But at the present am staying in the church hostel camp, I want you to help me relocate to your country to further my education

Before the death of my father on 18th February 2007 my father deposited sum of (US $450,000.00, four  hundred and  fifty thousand united state dollars
I have gone to the bank to verify the method of the transfer with the bank director and he told me that they can not release the money to me, unless I provide to the bank a trustee who will invest the money for me, he said that is the agreement between the bank and my late father.

I hope you will not betray the trust I have on you? Because this money is my only hope in life, you will also help me to relocate over to your country to continue my education while you will invest my own shear of the money for me in any good Business of your choice there in your country, I will compensate you with 40% for your kind assistance, while you will invest 60% in any business of your choice.

You will be taking care of me from the profit you make from the business which you will use to sponsor me to the university, I can assure you there is No Risk involve, the money is an inheritance from my late father I also secured the deposit document of the money with me, when I receive your return message I will forward to you my pictures and the full details of the transfer.

I am waiting to receive your returned mail.

Yours Sincerely, 

Ms. Tina Juan.

The Spam Report: Day #266: "DID YOU RECEIVE MY FISRT MAIL?"

Published On: Dec 11 2014 11:21:28 AM CST
Postal Service

We often reference in this space how grammatical and spelling mistakes are your first clue that you're dealing with spam/scam. When one of those shows up in the subject line of the email in question (i.e. "DID YOU RECEIVE MY FISRT MAIL?), that should be a pretty good tip-off that you just want to hit delete.

For more examples of spelling and grammatical errors, see "bellow." Not Saul Bellow, but see "bellow."



Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2014 3:43 PM
To: Adam Schrager

My dear beloved, 

Thanks for your mail. I am so delighted to hear from you. first I want you to understand that Grace brought us together and Grace shall make every thing concerning your help be of peace and happiness. You know my situation as i already stated in my first mail to you, is very bad and i do believe that what ever God says will be must be. I am writing you without the knowledge of any one because my doctor has advise that I stay away from the computer/phone to enable me have a long rest to see if I could last more longer. I don't really know but this is what my doctor has made me to understand.

I have noted your mail and I want you to know that I am very much pleased to know that you are ready and willing to handle the funds according to how you will be instructed as we proceed. I have already giving my lawyer all the needed details/guideline on how to handle things.

Please before we proceed further, I will like that you forward to me the bellow stated and also send a copy to my lawyer who will lead you though for the claim of the fund as my next of kin (Obtaining all documents that will be needed).

Your full name:

Date of birth/age:



Residential address: 

Phone number:

Marital Status

My dear, once the above stated details are forwarded to me and a copy to my lawyer who's details is stated bellow, then my lawyer will take it up from there.

My Lawyers contact detail bellow:

Name: Barr. Daniel Richardson


I will stop here for now until i read from you again.

Stay blessed and remain safe


Mrs. Dyer Marvel Jean.

The Spam Report: Day #265: "Below is my letter to you"

Published On: Dec 10 2014 11:33:07 AM CST
Syria map

The internet is full of scurrilous materials about individuals. Take, for example, what Abdul Fatah Abdul Aziz Ahmad allegedly read about me from a human resource profile database: "I have every reason to believe that you are a highly respected personality."

Anyone who reads this blog realizes I do not resemble that remark. Certainly, not among the spam/scam community.

Another funny line in today's submission came at the end where he/she wrote: "I cannot go into much details at the moment until I read from you soon."

Love the mix-ups in the English language. Just hit delete.


Sent: Monday, December 08, 2014 1:24 PM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: Re: Below is my letter to you.


Greetings from Syrian Arab Republic,

Kindly accept my apology for sending unsolicited mail to you.

Although we have never met before but I have every reason to believe that you are a highly respected personality, considering the fact that I sourced your profile from a human resource profile database on your country from the internet.

Though, I do not know to what extent you are familiar with events and fragile political situation in Syria but it has formed consistent headlines in the CNN and BBC news bulletins and many international newspapers.

I am Abdul Aziz, Investment officer, representing my boss and his colleagues. Due to the war crisis, the political situation in our country at the moment is very fragile and because of this and so many other internal problems we are  facing that nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, we would like to appoint you as our business partner to assist in securing and managing some of our funds for the purpose of investments in your country on our behalf.

If our offer is acceptable to you, just rest assured you stand to benefit heavily from us at no risk to you. I cannot go into much details at the moment until I read from you soon.

Please contact me by email at for further details.

Looking forward to hearing from you.


Abdul Aziz.


For the purpose of verification, check below websites.

The Spam Report: Day #264: "PLEASE I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE"

Published On: Dec 09 2014 09:31:19 AM CST
Money cash generic US currency

We often see when there are people trying to spam/scam us, there is tortured grammar and problems in translation. Sometimes, they lead to amusing consequences.

For example, take the email sent in today by Ray Anderson. It's our standard, there's a dead guy's account in a foreign bank and somehow, Ray's going to split the money 60-40 with this "banker."

There's a line in the note though that caught my eye and made me chuckle.

"We are imposition to reclaim and inherit the sum of US($10.5) Million without any trouble."

I believe the writer wanted to say, "we are in position," but apparently it's not just my almost 4-year-old daughter, Payton, who mixes up her "n's" and her "m's."

The irony here is that it would be an "imposition" for Ray or anyone to answer this because it's bogus. 

Just hit delete. That's what Ray did after sending it to us and we thank him.

Take care,


On Saturday, December 6, 2014 10:45 AM, Samunu Dawel <> wrote:

Good day,
I am Mr. Samunu Dawel, I currently hold the post as the Audit Account Manager of our bank in Ouagadougou Branch, Burkina-Faso. I got your contact from a reliable web directory. We can see actually that the world is a very small place to meet people but what matters most for me is to transact with a person with full trust. I have developed the trust on you after one week of fasting and praying. Due to the trust, I made up my mind to disclose this confidential business to you.
We are imposition to reclaim and inherit the sum of US($10.5) Million without any trouble, from a dormant account which remains unclaimed since 7years the owner died. This is a U.S Dollar’s account and the beneficiary died without trace of his family to claim the fund.
Upon my personal audit investigation into the details of the account, I find out that the deceased is from America, which makes it possible for you as a foreigner no matter your country to lay claim on the balance as the Foreign Business Partner or Extended Relative to the deceased. Your integrity and trustworthiness will make us succeed without any risk. Please if you think that the amount is too much to be transferred into your account, you have the right to ask our bank to transfer the fund into your account bit by bit after approval or you double the account. Once this fund is transferred into your account, we will share the fund accordingly, 40%, for you, 60%, for me.
If you are interested to help without disappointment or breach of trust, Please reply me with your full details.
1. YOUR FULL NAME:.........................
3. YOUR AGE:...............................
4. YOUR SEX:...............................
5. YOUR OCCUPATIONS:.......................
6. YOUR COUNTRY AND CITY:..................
so that I will guide you on the proper banking guidelines to follow for the claim. After the transfer, I will fly to your country for sharing according to our agreement.
Assurance: Note that this transaction will never in any way harm or foiled your good post or reputation in your country, because everything will follow legal process.
I am looking forward to hear from you soonest.
 Yours faithfully,
Mr Samunu Dawel

The Spam Report: Day #263: "You didn't take this seriously"

Published On: Dec 08 2014 10:22:13 AM CST
smart phone, cloud, icloud, ipad, iphone, cell phone

I've been fortunate in the process of doing this blog that many of you have sent in emails you've wanted to warn your neighbors about. Bob in Oregon has been one of them and now the spam/scam community is warning him.

Well, actually, they send out so many of these spam/scam emails, this is a coincidence, but it sets up that "we're going to frighten you" type of note we worry most about.

The key here is to scare you enough to get you to click on the link in the mail. Bob didn't do that. Neither should you as we never click on links in emails from random people.

Just hit delete.

Thanks Bob for your help.


Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2014 16:03:53 -0500
To: Bob in Oregon
Subject: You didn't take this seriously and now you must face the consequences

Dear Bob,

Bad Things From Your Past Have Been Posted Online. Brace yourself for the worst

At 12:30pm (eastern time) damaging information was posted publicly that could hurt you.

Don't let people see this by confirming your person record ID# here

Review this now: Time is running out!

The Spam Report: Day #262: Money gram for Mongo?

Published On: Dec 05 2014 09:52:35 AM CST
Alex Karras, Blazing Saddles

In my ongoing symbiotic relationship between the Spam Report and YouTube, I bring you today's submission from Bob K. in Oregon.

When I see anything with the word "gram" at the end, I flash immediately to this scene with the late Alex Karras from "Blazing Saddles."

"Candy gram for Mongo." 

"Mongo like candy."

I like Bob K. sending this in. Bob's not buying he was a "beneficiary," with $6,000 allegedly waiting for him and I'm certain he's right.

Just hit delete. 

Have a great weekend.


Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2014 16:20:50 +0000

Subject: Contact Director Money Gram to immediate pickup $6000 today

Location Address: Ville: COTONOU.postal:05 BP 25 72 Cotonou.

Attention Beneficiary!

We wish to inform you that after meeting held on 25th Nov. 2014. Federal Ministry of Finance and Federal High Court Benin have instructed Money Gram Office Benin to transfer your funds through Money Gram Service for easier receive your inheritance overdue funds without delay, Since you’re unable to receive your fund through other offices in Africa due to Original documents of your fund is not with them. You will receive 6000.00 USD per day after you contacted this office.

We have arranged your payment of ($3.500, 000, 00 USD) three millions five hundred thousand united state dollars to release $6000 everyday in your country to be available to pickup. We have verified your payment file and your name is in the list of outstanding fund beneficiaries to receive their payments in this month of November. As matter of fact; you are required urgent respond to Money Gram Office Benin Republic for immediate pickup your first payment from your fund.

Listen carefully to this issue! if there is any office you have been communicating with in the past, be informed that Benin Government didn't approved your Fund to be release through any other department except this Money Gram Office) because no any amount more than $6000.00 USD will be allow to transfer out from Benin Republic. The Director Administrator Trust funds have already signed your payment; now your free to comply with Director Money Gram office on this email ( however, kindly contact Money Gram Director to proceed with further arrangements for immediate release of your first (6000.00 USD) Per day.

Director General: Rev. Charles Karl
Telephone: +229 98 52 1608
Email address (

Money Gram Office Benin has been mandated to issue out your payment and you have to stop any further communication with other person or office to avoid any hitches in receiving your payments. Be informed that this is not African scams, is directly from Federal Republic of Benin as the Head of ECOWAS Western Africa.

Re-confirm the below information to avoid any mistake.
1) Full Name.......................
(2) Full Address................
(3) Your contact telephone and fax number........
(4) Your Age...................
(5) Copy of valid Identity.......
(6) Occupation...................
(7) Country of origin....................

Try to Call Rev. Charles Karl with this Phone Number +229 98521608 to immediately release your first payment $6000 today, urgent!!

You're in service
Mrs. James Reid
Federal ministry of finance

The Spam Report: Day #261: "I never forget you"

Published On: Dec 04 2014 08:15:40 AM CST

"I never forget you" even though I've never met you.

Details are irrelevant to the spammer/scammer and courtesy of this neat thing we call the Internet, we can ensure that the world won't forget you "Mr. Austus Peter" who remembered me so well, he/she wrote the sentence twice, three times if you count the subject line.

As my 5-year-old son, Clark, would say, "Please don't fall for this."



From: Austus Peter []
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2014 9:08 AM
Subject: I never forget you

I never forget you 

I never forget you,I am Mr.Austus Peter, an auditing debt manager ( B.O.A ) Bank of Africa, i contacted you for deal last time, i just want to let you know that i have executed the deal and i kept some money for your compensation, meanwhile contact my secretary through this email address ( so she will send you visa card worth's sum of (€720,000.00 Euro), her name is Nadege Sankara

Mr.Austus Peter

The Spam Report: Day #261: "VISA: Activate Card 11-30"

Published On: Dec 03 2014 10:18:44 AM CST
Credit cards

My wife is convinced that this blog serves only partially my stated goal of educating people as to the internet spam/scams out there, but also to allow me to post some of my favorite movie clips of all time.

Basically, she says this is an excuse for me to play on YouTube while on the company dime. Can I help that when I read some of these, my mind immediately shifts to film scenes from my past?

In today's Spam Report, courtesy of Mike K., we ostensibly have an email letting him know he has a new Visa card to activate only it's sent from an email address entitled "DiscoverPremium." 

Further, as Mike emailed me, "I don't know what kind of scam the e-mail below is, but I've received it twice in the last couple days. I don't have a new VISA card to activate and haven't requested one either."

He didn't try the link in the email and that's a good thing as we never click on links sent to us by people we don't know.

But anyway, back to my random movie association that was triggered when I read Mike's note. The premise here is to get excited that your new credit card is here. The shine is gone from that, I'd argue, as anyone can get one, but it immediately led me to think of this great Steve Martin scene from "The Jerk."\

"The new phone book's here. The new phone book is here."

Enjoy and remember to just hit delete.


-----Original Message-----

From: DiscoverPremium []

Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2014 3:31 PM

To: Mike K.

Subject: VISA: Activate Card 11-30

Survey Premium


VISA: Activate Card 11-30

The new Visa card is awaiting your activation below, so move towards having yours sent now (additional options also listed)!




319 Centre Ave.

No. 229

Rockland, MA 02370

The Spam Report: Day #260: "Final Notices"

Published On: Dec 02 2014 09:06:35 AM CST
smart phone, cloud, icloud, ipad, iphone, cell phone

The spammer/scammer relies on catching your attention with something that compels you to action. Often times, it preys on your familiarity with a scenario and tweaks it just enough to gain an advantage.

Case in point, many of us have likely received an email at one point or another telling us we need to clear out our Trash bins as we're running out of space in the account. They provide a link, like they did below (I've deactivated it, but that's the "VALIDATE MY ACCOUNT NOW" line) and hope you'll click on it.

As we know, clicking on links from folks we don't know only leads to bad news. Just like my dad used to say, "Nothing good happens after midnight," I could co-opt that premise and say, "Nothing good happens when you click on an unknown link from an unknown sender."

I think I'm more right than my dad on that, but I digress.

Anyhow, one more tip on emails like this and I'm channeling my inner-Mentalist (now in its last season on CBS) as it helps to study these carefully in my line of work, but look at the email address of the sender. Don't think webmail is spelled "webmalil" in any iteration I've ever seen.

Just hit delete.

Take care,


From: Webmail Administrator []
Sent: Monday, December 01, 2014 8:10 PM
Subject: Final Notices: - Update Your Webmail Account

Dear Account Owner,

Your mailbox have exceed 3.5 MB set by the administrator, you will not be able to send or receive mail ,

except you re-validates your account

by clicking on VALIDATE MY ACCOUNT NOW and complete the required details and click on submit button.

Note: Failure to comply may result to lose of your Webmail account within 24 hours.

Webmail System Administrator.

The Spam Report: Day #259: "zenith bank UK Limited"

Published On: Dec 01 2014 02:32:54 PM CST
OTD January 8 - Graham Chapman

Any time you can bring up and link to Monty Python scenes courtesy of a spam/scam email, you do so. It's like Spam Report Rule #26, right after other noteworthy rules like "There's never a bad time to get a doughnut," or "There's no crying on vacation." Ok, so that last one is for my three kids, but I digress.

Regardless, this note I received on Saturday morning from "Mr David Charles, From zenith bank UK Limited" generated such a cinematic connection for me. Apparently, someone named "Mr. Jones Tsai" was claiming my non-existent funds from the aforementioned bank that I've never visited and further, he said I was "dead."

Alas, I immediately went to YouTube and for my own viewing pleasure, if nothing else, pulled up this scene:

I guess I should be grateful for the laugh.

I responded that I wasn't dead. I'll let you know if they respond.

Take care,


From: zenith bank UK Limited []
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2014 3:29 PM
Subject: zenith bank UK Limited

I am Mr David Charles, From zenith bank UK Limited . There is counter 

claims on your funds presently by one Mr. Jones Tsai,who is trying to 

make us believe that you are dead and even explained that you had an 

agreement with him, to help you in receiving your part payment of $5.5 

Million US, kindly reconfirm to us, for your urgent release of the 

Premium immediately.Reconfirm the above information to avoid making 

payment to a wrong person.

Mr David Charles

Chairman Admin

The Spam Report: Day #258: "New Message."

Published On: Nov 28 2014 09:48:02 AM CST
Attack targeted outskirts of Damascus during the early hours of August 21

"Although we have never met before but I have every reason to believe that you are a highly respected personality."

Forget the tortured grammar, for once, a spam/scam artist has acknowledged my self-appointed role in this world as a "highly respected personality."

Not sure any of us want to engage in business in Syria right now though, let alone with someone we've never met no matter how complimentary they may be. ISIS doesn't like us. The Syrian rebels don't like us much either these days since we didn't help them too much. The Syrian government, which has killed many of its own citizens, is not a friend we want.

For the same reason we would not enter into business with random people right now in western Africa (Ebola), I'm figuring we should steer clear of Syria as well. Can't imagine the reward would be that great and know the risk associated with it would be far greater.

Have a great weekend and please, as my 5-year-old son, Clark, likes to say, "Don't fall for this."


From: Abdul Aziz []
Sent: Monday, November 24, 2014 12:24 PM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: New Message.


Greetings from Syrian Arab Republic,

Kindly accept my apology for sending unsolicited mail to you.

Although we have never met before but I have every reason to believe that you are a highly respected personality, considering the fact that I sourced your profile from a human resource profile database on your country from the internet.

Though, I do not know to what extent you are familiar with events and fragile political situation in Syria but it has formed consistent headlines in the CNN and BBC news bulletins and many international

I am Abdul Aziz, Investment officer, representing my boss and his colleagues. Due to the war crisis, the political situation in our country at the moment is very fragile and because of this and so many other internal problems we are  facing that nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, we would like to appoint you as our business partner to assist in securing and managing some of our funds for the purpose of investments in your country on our behalf.

If our offer is acceptable to you, just rest assured you stand to benefit heavily from us at no risk to you. I cannot go into much details at the moment until I hear from you.

Please contact me by email at for further details.

Looking forward to hearing from you.


Abdul Aziz.


For the purpose of verification, check below websites.

The Spam Report: Day #257: "Important notice regarding your mortgage"

Published On: Nov 26 2014 08:24:24 AM CST
Neighbors, houses, homes iStock

The Home Affordable Refinance Program or HARP program the federal government has helped numerous homeowners underwater refinance their loans since 2009. While both the refinance craze and foreclosure crisis have waned since, there are still emails out there promising homeowners the world.

Take a look at the email Mary Lou received earlier this week. It speaks in hurried language about how the program might not last for long. Well, it was introduced five years ago and is still in operation.

Further, the fear of scams with this program led the government to set up a specific page on the HARP website to address the issue:

As we embark on the holiday season and lots of folks are going to be spending, it's always a good reminder to watch out for those "too good to be true" offers. If that's what it feels like, then most likely, that's what it is.

Also, we never click on links in emails sent to us by people we don't know. That's a prescription for trouble.

Thanks for sending this in, Mary Lou.

I don't know if it's just spam or a scam, but I'm not inclined to find out.

I'll be back on Friday. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone.


From: "HarpMortgageSaver" <>
Date: November 24, 2014 at 5:13:35 AM CST
To:<Mary Lou >
Subject:Ed: Important notice regarding your mortgage. See below.

Important notice regarding your mortgage. See below.

Hey, I wanted to send you a quick email as a time sensitive opportunity just came across my desk that fit your account perfectly.

President Obama recently created what is called the Harp Program. This program was created to help Americans refinance their homes at lower rates, but most importantly make it EASIER for them to be approved for refinancing.

I'm trying to inform all of my clients who fit the profile and I know will be approved.

The process takes 2-3 minutes and you will find out if you are approved instantly.

Click Here to get started.

NOTE: We do not know how long Congress and Obama will keep this Program in place so we are urging all of our clients who are strong candidates to take advantage of it today while they still can!

Good Luck and let me know how much you were able to save! Good Luck!

One-Click Unsubscribe

Message intended to reach: Mary Lou


The Spam Report: Day #256: "Auto-Policy Adjustments Available"

Published On: Nov 25 2014 10:25:16 AM CST   Updated On: Nov 25 2014 10:27:45 AM CST
car financing money cash

I've been fortunate in the process of putting this blog together that many of you have contributed. Today, I owe Nancy P. a mea culpa because I stumbled upon this email she sent me way back in May. I had flagged it because I thought then, as I do now, that it's pretty funny and can serve as a teaching tool as well.

So, the premise is that the email purports to offer her lower insurance rates. It's got numerous links in the email (which I've deactivated), but clearly, the idea is to get her to visit this "fryingplanks" website. I have not visited that site either as I aim to practice what I preach, but I'm guessing it has nothing to do with car insurance.

But, if you go way down to the bottom of the email, what cracked me up was a random conversation about two things: Michael Sam being the first openly gay man to try to play in the NFL and "French Onion Soup Dumplings."

I kid you not. That's pretty funny. It ends with a sentence fragment of, "Be careful when biting." How true is that?

Sometimes, just scrolling down provides you with all the information you need to spot a spam/scam email. Onion soup dumplings sound great, but they have nothing to do with lowering your car insurance. Maybe you could do both in 15 minutes?

Sorry Nancy for the delay in getting back with you and featuring this. Gave me a laugh again this morning when I found it.

As an aside, Nancy's email has a quote fitting for this blog: "Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom." If only we could get the spammers/scammers to learn their Thomas Jefferson, we'd all be better off.

Take care,


From: Erik Cantu <>

Date: Monday, May 12, 2014 10:36 AM

To: "P, Nancy" >

Subject: Auto-Policy Adjustments Available - State DMV #1561804299883158242

Notice Pending For: nancy.P,


Your Auto Coverage Is Updating Monday, May 12th

--   --   --   --   --    --    --    --    --    --    --

State policies have changed potentially lowering your rate to $9.00/wk.

--   --   --   --   --    --    --    --    --    --    --


Upgraded coverage notice: #1766550762




The Spam Report: Day #255: "attn"

Published On: Nov 24 2014 11:17:48 AM CST
kitchen sink cutting board countertop

Hi there everyone,

Hope you had a nice weekend. Apparently, Joyce and Gary Laverty had a better weekend, I'm guessing, than any of us reading this blog today.

You see, they are going to get $5,000 a day for a long time through some weird Western Union transfer that I didn't understand, but c'mon details don't matter (I wrote facetiously).

All they need to do is send a whole host of personal information and I literally mean, the kitchen sink of personal information (e.g. passport, bank account, etc.) to a guy named "Mr. Eric" and pay $105 to make this transaction happen. You might as well give them a paper cut and pour lemon juice in it because the end result of pain is going to occur either way.

File this one in the neighbors helping neighbors category and don't walk away, run away from something like this if it comes your way.

Thanks Joyce and Gary for sending this in.

Take care,


From: Mrs. Sandra Fish

Sent: Saturday, November 22, 2014 5:08 AM

Subject: attn

Dear Western Union Customer,

You have been awarded with the sum of $350,000,00 USD by our office, as one of our customers who use Western Union Money Transfer in their daily business transaction.This award has been selected through the internet, where your e-mail address was indicated and notified.

Please contact Mr.Eric on e-mail:( with the following details listed below so that your fund will be remitted to you through Western Union Money Transfer:

1. Full Name::::::::::

2. Home Address:::

3. Country: State & City::::::

4. Phone Number::

5. Occupation::::

6. Grander:::::::::::

7. Age:::::::::::

8. A scanned copy passport photo.

Note that before you start receiving your daily $5000 dollars you are to pay sum of $105 dollars for processing fee as the only charge required for sending the charge below is the information that you need to use while sending the $105 to the secretary and forward the transfer details to Mr Eric at:

Reeciver's Name:Eze Osaze Raph

Country & State: Cotonou Benin Republic

The Spam Report: Day #254: "Attention please"

Published On: Nov 21 2014 09:26:04 AM CST   Updated On: Nov 21 2014 09:14:00 AM CST

At my kids' school, they discuss the concept of being a "community helper." Police officers, doctors, nurses, teachers, they all fit into that description, but as I've told my children, there's nothing stopping any of us from being a community helper.

You don't need a badge or an advanced degree to help your neighborhood, your friends, your siblings (please), your parents (pretty, pretty please).

I think I'm going to create a segment called "Neighbors helping Neighbors" or "People helping People," to describe what I've witnessed the last 254 days of posting this blog. So many people have sent in emails as a warning to others.

It's frankly been incredibly reassuring and provided me with a lot of good feelings. So, thank you.

Today's submission comes from Ann Wallace, who is the Executive Director of the UW-Madison Retirement Association.

"Here's one I haven't seen before," she wrote me. "Interestingly, it came to the email box of the UW-Madison Retirement Association, not a private individual."

Unfortunately spam/scam emails don't play favorites. Everyone's a possible victim.

Thanks Ann for your help.

If you get this email, please just hit delete.

Take care and have a great weekend.


From: []
Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2014 11:25 AM

Interim Assistance General Manager,

(Operations, Maintenance, Transportation) Harrisburg International Airport Pennsylvania One Terminal Drive, Middle-town, PA 17057, Pennsylvania USA

Attention please

                   Your Abandoned Package For Delivery

I have very vital information to give to you, but first I must have your trust before I review it to you because it may cause me my job, so I need somebody that I can trust for me to be able to review the secret to you.

I am Mr. Kelvin Bryner, head of luggage/baggage storage facilities (Operations, Maintenance,Transportation) here at the Harrisburg International Airport, Pennsylvania USA. During my recent withheld package routine check at the Airport Storage Vault, I discovered an abandoned shipment from a Diplomat from London and when scanned it revealed an undisclosed sum of money in a Metal Trunk Box weighing approximately 110kg. The consignment was abandoned because the Contents of the consignment was not properly declared by the consignee as "MONEY" rather it was declared as personal effect to avoid interrogation and also the inability of the diplomat to pay for the United States Non Inspection Charges which is $3,700USD. On my assumption the consignment is still left in our Storage House here at the Harrisburg International Airport Pennsylvania till date. The details of the consignment including your name, your email address and the official documents from the United Nations office in Geneva are tagged on the Trunk box.

However, to enable me confirm if you are the actual recipient of this consignment as the assistant director of the Inspection Unit, I will advise you provide your current Phone Number and Full Address, to enable me cross check if it corresponds with the address on the official documents including the name of nearest Airport around your city. Please note that this consignment is supposed to have been returned to the United States Treasury Department as unclaimed delivery due to the delays in concluding the clearance processes so as a result of this, I will not be able to receive your details on my official email account.

So in order words to enable me cross check your details, I will advise you send the required details to my private email address for quick processing and response. Once I confirm you as the actual recipient of the trunk box, I can get everything concluded within 48hours upon your acceptance and proceed to your address for delivery. Lastly, be informed that the reason I have taken it upon myself to contact you personally about this abandoned consignment is because I want us to transact this business and share the money 70% for you and 30% for me since the consignment has not yet been returned to the United States Treasury Department after being abandoned by the diplomat so immediately the confirmation is made, I will go ahead and pay for the United States Non Inspection Fee of $3,700 dollars and arrange for the box to be delivered to your doorstep Or I can bring it by myself to avoid any more trouble but you have to assure me of my 30% share.

I wait to hear from you urgently if you are still alive and I will appreciate if we can keep this deal confidential. Please get back to me via my private Email:( ) for further directives


Kelvin Bryner

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