I think I'm getting far too much enjoyment from checking my phone every morning to see if I've received another email from Mrs. Supini Thrunkul. Back when email was so new, that was completely understandable, but my fascination with someone trying to scam me not realizing that I'm a reporter, writing about our conversations, is like watching my beloved Chicago Cubs every summer: I know how it's going to end, yet I can't turn away.
Anyhow, when we last left this story, Mrs. Thrunkul (or whoever it is that's been emailing me), had quoted the section in the Bible (both Mark 3:25 and Matthew 12:25) about a house divided unto itself cannot stand. The point she/he was making was that I didn't trust her and she couldn't do business without trust. I'll include that email below, so you can see her disdain.
I really should be ashamed of myself for being skeptical. I mean, I hear from someone out of the blue, who I've never met, about a long-lost, never-known, dead relative named Dr. Dietrich Schrager, who apparently has $47 million sitting in a Chinese bank that she/he is going to help me get access to. (Editor's note: That was sarcasm)
My rules all along is that I would not lie (I have signed all of my emails that I've typed here at work with my standard signature including my job and employer) and that I would not open any attachments. She/he has been angry with me about that, but I simply say I'm not good with computers which anyone who knows me will tell you is absolutely accurate.
By now, you're likely wondering about Skunk Moon, the guy I mentioned in the headline. Well, it's getting really funny/absurd right now. I always wondered if I could write fiction and my father is apt to say, "The best fiction reads like someone else's non-fiction."
This proves it. Skunk Moon is the "lawyer" who is going to help me get access to my long-lost, never-known, dead distant relative, Dr. Dietrich Schrager. I couldn't make this up if I tried. Never thought of naming a lawyer Skunk. (Editor's note: Pause for lawyer jokes here) (Editor's Note #2: My father and sister are lawyers, so I will not participate in lawyer humor).
Enjoy the correspondence. I'll keep going as long as they keep going.
I've included my note from "Skunk Moon" as well.
Take care, send me your spam emails (firstname.lastname@example.org) and then, just hit delete.
From: Mrs. Supini Thrunkul [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Monday, January 06, 2014 5:59 AM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: Re: Dear Adam Schrager.
The holy bible says. Can two work together except they have been agreed? Another scripture says, A House divided against itself can not stand.
If there is no trust we can never move forward.
I have trusted you because you have a good public reputation, but if you can not trust me in return,it means the transaction will not succeed.
I am trying to help you trust me by sending you my ID card,of which you have refused to simply download and view for fear of what i cant understand. This is the reason why i have not introduced you to the next level.If i can gain your trust,we will succeed to transfer the funds to your account in just few days.
But the problem here is trust. I need you to trust me and i don't know how to go about it. how i wish you can make an urgent trip to China,so that we can meet in person and you will see prove about this deal your self.
Mrs Supini Thrunkul
On Mon, 1/6/14, Adam Schrager <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
Subject: RE: Dear Adam Schrager.