I appreciate the self-deprecating sense of humor when I see it in someone and I've tried to embody that characteristic. For example, I've often said being in television, I like it when people speak to me in monosyllabic words.
I like to say that sometimes we're a couple rings short of the Olympic symbol or a couple fries short of a Happy Meal or a few notes short of a sonata.
All this is a preface to today's Spam Report which frankly I don't understand. Its subject line is about an ATM card, but then, the body states I'm a fund beneficiary. How did this guy, who is allegedly the "Plenipotentiary Permanent Representative of the Republic of Benin, get involved?
By the way, the actual Plenipotentiary Permanent Representative of the Republic of Benin at the United Nations is named Damian White, not Dr. Thomas White (http://www.un.int/protocol/bluebook/bb301.pdf) I mean if you're going to go to all these lengths to scam me, why not copy the guy's name to make it seem more legitimate.
So, I guess the moral of today's story is if you have to read an email a bunch of times to figure out what it means, you should just hit delete. Oh, and if someone who calls themselves the Plenipotentiary Permanent Representative of the Republic of Benin writes you, just hit delete.
Have a great weekend and a Merry Christmas. I'll be back on Monday, Dec. 30.
From: THOMAS WHITE [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Thursday, December 19, 2013 9:37 AM
Subject: RE: IRREVOCABLE PAYMENT ORDER VIA ATM CARD
ECONOMIC AND SOCIAL COUNCI
INTERNATIONAL ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION MOVEMENT
2208 MASSACHUSETTS AVENUE N.W. WASHINGTON DC, 20008, UNITED STATES
We the peoples... A stronger United Nation for a better world.
Dear fund beneficiary,
RE: IRREVOCABLE PAYMENT ORDER VIA ATM CARD
BASED ON SERIES OF PETITIONS WE RECEIVED FROM VARIOUS ORGANIZATIONS SUCH AS COOPERATE BODIES AND NON GOVERNMENTAL ORGANIZATION (NGO) ON THE INABILITY OF SOME GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, COMMERCIAL BANKS AND WORLD LOTTERY ORGANIZATION TO SETTLE THEIR CLIENTS CONTRACT DEBT, INHERITANCE AND WINNING PRIZES, I HAVE BEEN AUTHORIZED BY THE DEBT RECONCILIATION UNIT OF THIS INSTITUTION TO INVESTIGATE THE UNNECESSARY DELAY ON PAYMENT APPROVED IN YOUR FAVOR, DURING THE COURSE OF MY INVESTIGATION, I HAD DISCOVERED WITH DISMAY THAT YOUR PAYMENT HAS BEEN UNNECESSARILY DELAYED BY CORRUPT OFFICIALS OF THE BANK WHO ARE TRYING TO DIVERT YOUR FUNDS INTO THEIR PERSONAL ACCOUNT.
AFTER AN EXTENSIVE CLOSE DOOR MEETING YESTERDAY, IT WAS RESOLVED AND AGREED UPON THAT I" THOMAS WHITE WILL WORK EXTENSIVELY TO ENSURE THATALLCONTRACT PAYMENT, INHERITANCE AND LOTTERY WINNING PRIZES BE SETTLED WITHOUT ANY HASSLE. FOR SECURITY REASONS, YOUR FUNDS WILL BE PACKAGE IN FORM OF YOUR PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER (PIN) ATM VISA CARD AND THIS WILL ENABLE ONLY YOU TO HAVE DIRECT CONTROL OVER YOUR FUNDS, I WILL MONITOR THIS PAYMENT BY MYSELF TO AVOID THE HOPELESS SITUATION CREATED BY PREVIOUS BANK OFFICIALS.
NOTE; AN IRREVOCABLE PAYMENT GUARANTEE HAS BEEN ISSUED BY THE WORLD BANK GROUP AND THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF) ON YOUR PAYMENT VALUED $3.8M USD. HOWEVER, I, AM HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT BASED ON OUR RECOMMENDATION/INSTRUCTIONS; YOUR COMPLETE INHERITANCE FUNDS HAVE BEEN CREDITED IN YOUR FAVOR THROUGH ATM VISA CARD.
YOU ARE THEREFORE ADVICE TO GET BACK TO MY OFFICE:
DR THOMAS WHITE, U.N AMBASSADOR AND PLENIPOTENTIARY PERMANENT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE REPUBLIC OF BENIN
EMAIL ADDRESS: (email@example.com)
OFFICE LINES:+229 99 211 482
YOU ARE THEREFORE REQUESTED TO SEND YOUR FULL ADDRESS FOR THE DELIVERY OF YOUR ATM CARD AND AS SOON AS YOU ESTABLISH CONTACT, AN ATM VISA CARD WILL BE ISSUED TO YOU IMMEDIATELY WHICH YOU CAN USE FROM ANY BANK ATM MACHINE IN THE WORLD, YOU ARE ADVISED TO GET BACK TO ME WITH THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION AS STATED BELOW:
1. YOUR FULL NAME: