The Spam Report: Day #38: "Good morning."
We need to get Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) and Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wisconsin) on the phone immediately. I have found the person who can help solve the federal government's budget issues.
His name is E.E. Mbeki, financial guru, not to be confused with history's other great e e (in lower case--no periods in between), that being the great American poet, ee cummings.
Anyhow, I digress as is often the problem in this space for me. So, E.E. Mbeki sent me a note describing how his bank helped bring in the completion of a $450 million gold mine in South Africa well under budget. A total savings he said of $78 million.
Like any good politician, he wants to share it with a "Friend" like me. He totally sounds like a politician already when he wrote, "there is no problem in this transaction, you have to trust me."
Of course, there's no problem in this transaction (read: dramatic pause for sarcasm). It's every day that a South African banker reaches out to me, a stranger, with plans to share millions of dollars that only he's aware of, so we can get into a "lucrative" business opportunity like "housing," because that's so stable (read: second dramatic pause for sarcasm).
Don't call Rep. Ryan or Sen. Baldwin after all. There's no budget guru to be found here only someone not to be trusted despite his best assurances.
Just hit delete and move on.
From: E. MBEKI [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 8:47 PM
Subject: Good morning.
Dear Friend, I write to seek your urgent help. I am a banker, working with a reputable bank here in South Africa. We have carried out a project for the construction of the Goliath Gold mining firm East Rand of Gauteng Province of South Africa since 2005 including the reconstruction of the gold mine in Limpopo province, to the Amount of $450. Million United States Dollars. The projects has successfully come to an end. After paying our contract actors, since I am the head of the payment department of my bank, I realized that there is an extra balance of $78.000.000 Million United states dollars pending. This amount nobody nor any of my staff knows about this. I seek for your support to enable me transfer this money through your company account. I will put your company in our register as if you did part of the job and then will be able to transfer the money over to you. I am contacting you to help secure the money in your country. We can use the money to start up any lucrative business investment your find interesting e.g. housing and also invest part of the money in your company. I have promise to reward you with 40% of the total sum for your help while 5% will be set aside for any expenses that might be incurred in the process. There is no problem in this transaction, you have to trust me. Please contact me urgently if you can do it. You can write me through my private email address: firstname.lastname@example.org Once I hear from you, I will send you more details. I wait to hear from you urgently. Sincerely yours E,E, MBEKI