Fact: The most underrated cute animal on the face of the planet is the walrus.
Sure, it's a 4,000-pound, breathing pile of assorted blubbery walrus parts, but so are most Americans. Thus, who are we to judge the walrus.
Besides, IT HAS A MOUSTACHE!
And that has to count for something. Even if it means they're the unintentional hipsters of the animal kingdom.
So, yes, they're super fat and toothy, and they probably like bands you've never heard of, but walruses are still cute. And if they happen to do fun party tricks like sit-ups or playing a saxophone or PBR keg stands, it's all over.
Cuteness overload. Reward the walrus with fish.
The same applies to Wilford Brimley: If he performs, feed the man.
"Thanks, Wilford. Have a mackerel."
But here's the thing Walruses aren't really ... walruses. Apparently, now, they are officially known as wordbanks.
And here's why.
About a week ago, 39-year-old Jim Ruderer of Hillsborough, New Jersey was just washing dishes in his home while his wife, Heather, rummaged through papers in their son's school folder.
Heather walked over to Jim, didn't say anything, and just showed him one particular assignment from their son, Jonas.
And it was hilarious.
You see, Jonas, who is in kindergarten, had incorrectly identified a seal as a walrus from a word bank of several different arctic animals in a matching exercise. Which, mind you, is easy enough for anyone to do. Especially a five-year-old.
But that's not the funny part. The seal labeling was just a small mistake.
And, to his credit, Jonas did correctly identify the shark. And the polar bear. And the arctic hare. And the arctic fox.
Just not the seal.
Or the walrus.
For that one, he chose ... wordbank.
As in, the heading from the box where the various animal names were printed.
"Heather and I could not stop laughing," Ruderer explained to me. "Jonas asked what was so funny, but flitted off to play with his brothers and sisters before we could work out what to say."
So, eventually, being a modern parent, Jim did what was absolutely necessary -- he posted Jonas' school assignment on the website Reddit.
This was on Wednesday evening, right before Jim started making dinner.
Ruderer says that, amazingly, by the time they began eating, an image of his son's schoolwork was already the most popular post on the main page.
"I've never topped Reddit before," he says. "So, it was kind of exciting to see it well-received."