When I was in college at the University of Michigan, there was a guy who lived in my dorm my freshman year who thrived on trying to get on the Larry King Show on CNN. After being turned down numerous times when he'd say he was "John from Ann Arbor," he determined that Larry's producers, in order to boost the appearance of CNN as an international network, would only take calls from people overseas.
Now, this was in the days before Caller ID. I know I look like I'm 12, but I actually was in college back in the mid-80's.
So, "John from Ann Arbor" decided to become "Ron in Istanbul" or "Tom in Manchester" or my personal favorite, "Jim in Antwerp, Belgium."
"Jim in Antwerp, Belgium, HELLO!!!" Larry shouted at him, welcoming him on the program, as he was comfortably nestled in his 3rd floor East Quad room, trying desperately to get his roommates to be quiet.
Anyhow, the reason for this story is because this morning, I was reminded how what we do here truly has no borders. Today's submission comes from Caroline, who watches News 3 from south of the border, in Lena, Illinois.
It's not Antwerp, Belgium but her submission to the Spam Report apparently comes from Ghana and deals with something called a "SUSPENSE ACCOUNT" that has $12.85 million that Caroline could get access to.
Allow me to remove any suspense, it's bogus and you don't need me shouting into a microphone to let you know that.
Thanks Caroline for sending this in. If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org and then remember, just hit delete.
Mr. Daniel Boateng
9:15 AM (9 hours ago)
I anticipate that you read this mail quickly and let me know your opinion or willingness on this classified information that I will release to you. Firstly, I am a happily married man with 3 kids and therefore I would not want to jeopardize this opportunity to change my financial status that will give my family a secured future.
I am Mr. Daniel Boateng., the Branch Manager of the Eco Bank Of Ghana Limited, First Light Branch Accra. I am 40 years of age. It may interest you to hear that I am a man of PEACE and don't want problem, but I don't know how you will feel about this, but I am telling you that this is real and you are not going to regret after doing this transaction with me . I only hope we can assist each other. But if you don't want this business offer kindly forget it.
I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit both of us, as the Branch Manager of the Eco Bank Of Ghana Limited; it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra-Ghana at the end of each year. On the course of the last two years 2011 end of the year report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the Manager made Twelve Million Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars [$12,850.000.00] which my head office are not aware of and will never be aware of, Nor must they know that I am involved in this transaction.
I have since place this fund on what we call SUSPENSE ACCOUNT without any beneficiary. As an officer of the Bank I cannot be directly connected to this money, so this is why i have to contacting you for us to work so that you can assist receive this money into your bank account for us to SHARE, Meanwhile you will have 50% of the total fund. Note there are practically no risk involved, it will be bank to bank transfer, all I need from you is to stand claim as the original depositor of this fund who made the deposit with our branch so that my Head office can order the transfer to your designated bank account.
If you accept this offer to work with me, I will appreciate it very much. As soon as I receive your kind response, I will give you details on how we can achieve it successfully.
Please contact me via this E-mail for more details: email@example.com
Eco Bank of Ghana.