The one summer I lived in Richmond, Virginia covering prep sports for the city's afternoon newspaper, I became fond of Southern sayings I'd never heard as a lifetime northerner.
"Go hog wild," "Don't go half hog," "Holler like a pig," were new to me and left me wondering about the region's affinity with swine.
The food references were great as well. For example, when I heard that someone "dills my pickle," I thought it was a good thing having spent a fair amount of time at a deli, but I was wrong. It means that they were irritating.
I needed no translating though when the mom of a kid I profiled for the sports section told me, I was "sweeter than sugar." That phrase had made its way over the Mason-Dixon line and was used in my household on seemingly rare occasions when my older sisters would treat me well. It was always my grandmother who said it as the behavior did not present itself inside the confines of our own home, but I digress.
Below is an email submitted by Terry H. and it's of the "scamming/spamming them with kindness" ilk. There is such over-the-top compliments here that you want to forget the butchered grammar and the fact that she/he mixes up the names of the "Reverend" who is helping her/him in the refugee camp.
However, we cannot forget that stuff. In the meanwhile, I think of this as a spammers/scammers version of Equal or Splenda or Sweet'N Low. It's a nice substitute to the real deal, but it's not the real deal.
If you get an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please forward it on to me: mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org.
And then, just hit delete.
From: Cynthia Colly <email@example.com>
Subject: DARLING, CELEBRATE WITH ME?????????????
Date: July 19, 2014 at 1:38:26 AM CDT
Hello my sweet and lovely darling, how are you doing? i know that God is taking good care of you. My darling, i know that you have forgotten every thing about me, and i know maybe it could be one problem or the other, but i swear i must appreciate you
Darling, i want you to celebrate with me, i am happy to inform you about my success in getting the fund transferred under the help of a new partner from United Kingdom, who was among the representative of United Nation who visited the camp..
Presently I'm in United Kingdom with him for investing with part of the money, while i deposited some in the bank. Meanwhile, I didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring the funds, despite that it failed us some how, even your love, struggle, and advice, and i swear i still care about you.
Now you will need to contact the Reverend in the refugee camp, ( Reverend Michael Tawawa ) in his direct email address is :
( firstname.lastname@example.org ). number (00221-765435906) or (+221-765435906)
Ask him to kindly send you a certified bank check of $100,000 ( Hundred Thousand dollars), which I prepared and kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter which later failed.
I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touch with (Reverend Frank Sambaya ) and direct him where to post you the bank check. Please do let me know immediately you receive it, so that we can share the joy after all the sufferings at that time.
In the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which myself and my new partner are planning at hand. Remember that I had forwarded this instruction to him on your behalf, therefore establish contacts with him for the delivery of the bank check to you without delay . This was my previous email address, when i was in contact with you ( email@example.com )
Take care and remain blessed my dearest love.
Yours, lovely Cynthia Colly