There is so much good stuff in the notes below that I have to share.
Ok, so I, like most of you, get a lot of spam email... some of which I respond to (a practice my IT people frown upon and I don't recommend). However, I can't help myself sometimes.
So, I got this note from "Dr. Nonaka Takashi," who besides having a lengthy title as the "Head of Internal Audit Group, Deputy President,Executive Officer and Director of Mizuho Trust & Banking Co., Ltd. in Japan also promised me a "lucrative business proposal."
You all know I'm a sucker for those. Free money lures me in faster than a burger, fries and milkshake special and as my kids and my waistline know, I love milkshakes.
You'll see below his original plea to me in an email with the subject line, "Waiting to hear from you." I responded with a simple, "What are you proposing?" with my full station signature that clearly identifies me as an "Investigative Producer/Reporter."
His full response is good stuff. I call it the kitchen sink approach to scamming. Throw everything at your potential victim (e.g. subject from war-torn areas like Iraq/Syria, intrigue like dying with no next of kin, $30 million in oil money or guilt-free loot, addressing your fear of a scam right on by writing this is how they do business in the banking world and my personal favorite, the guilt trip).
I know this is a lot to take in, but the personal plea, the guilt trip, is galling. Here it is in full: "I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discharge this mail and forget I ever contacted you, I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve my proposal. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come ones in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by. For once I find myself in total control of my destiny. This chance won pass me by and please do not let me miss my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life. I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me and alerting my bank. If you give me positive signals, I will give you the relevant modus operandi to initiate this process towards a successful conclusion. I am counting on your anticipated co-operation for a successful and hitch free business transaction between us, which will be mutually beneficial to both of us."
Enjoy the full email exchange below and just hit delete.
From: nanaka takashi [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Tuesday, March 18, 2014 6:58 AM
Subject: Waiting to hear from you.
Waiting to hear from you.
I am Dr. Nonaka Takashi, (Head of Internal Audit Group, Deputy President,Executive Officer and Director of Mizuho Trust & Banking Co., Ltd), Japan.
I have a lucrative business proposal of mutual interest to share with you;it involves the transfer of a large sum of money from my bank here in Japan.
I got your reference in my search for someone who suits my proposed business relationship in your country`s Chamber of Commerce. If you are interested in working with me, contact me through my private email; ( email@example.com ) for further details.
Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.
Dr. Nonaka Takashi
From: Adam Schrager
Sent: Tuesday, March 18, 2014 1:34 PM
Subject: RE: Waiting to hear from you.
What are you proposing?
News 3 Investigative Producer/Reporter
WISC-TV, Madison, Wisconsin