Father's Day, the day on which all good and dutiful children are supposed to buy something for "dear old dad" -- even if he spent all the rent money at the track, traded your trombone for a fifth of Old Granddad and killed your hamster -- is almost upon us.

For those of you who still have disposable income, selecting just the right gift can be tough. It was easier when we were kids, when a painted rock or a handmade card would float Dad's boat and get us marked as the best sons or daughters any man ever had.

There are, of course, gifts that no father ever wants to receive; items that bring about the forced smile, the falsely cheery, "Oh, thanks! Just what I wanted!" and the inevitable exclusion from the will.

If you want to avoid losing your inheritance, keep reading as we start with the most iconic (and wrong) of presents.